Just voicing my heart out

[Quistreous 0]

This may seem like a boring story but i will just talk about it just to release myself of this tension and frustration inside me. and sadness too.

Me and my ex bf met in school. school mates actually. he is 2 years elder than i m. i was sitting for my spm examinations last year and him, his stpm. we became a couple and we continued to support each other. everything was so perfect then. we were so loving, so nice, so sincere. everyone envied us. i would cook for him, clean for him, be there for him...coz he's my first love and i really really love him.

Early this year, after we got our results, i went off to a college in penang and he too, by luck got usm, penang. we were delighted. so happy. we can still meet after all even though you have to change bus twice and its so darn far from each other. but at least we can still see each other rite? thats y we were so happy?

Just as he entered USM, i went over there to see him. Being unfamiliar with the place(its really really huge), i walked under the hot sun at 12 noon just to look for him. turns out he doesnt know his way around anyway since he's new. i searched for him under the hot sun for around 30 minutes and i broke my shoes walking in the tar road. however, when i saw him, he just yelled at me for being "unsincere" to come and find him. i was so sad. i wanted to cry there then his sister brought us out for lunch. i went home after lunch to change my shoes. i was really sad but i guess it was just his bad mood so i ignored it.

Somehow, both of us started to change. He got his new friends, always going out to play games...i dont know...last time he was already like that. playing dota all day, play till forget our dates...play till ignoring me...its ok...i dont mind coz i really love him. even dating go to cyber cafe go play dota but i dont know how to play though. I wanted to learn to play, just as a way to get closer to him despite me disliking the game but when i told him to teach me, he snapped at me about losing in the game, dying and stuff so i kept quiet and just watched him play.

I changed in terms that my coursemates hated me. They hated me for being what they call a "know-it-all". they hated my guts, my confidence. i was suffering in my place. i managed to maintain my compusure, my confidence and all coz in my heart i know that there's still him to see and all. however, he always wanted attention from me. despite me constantly going there to see him and all, he wanted more. i called him everyday several times a day, i do whatever i can for him despite my heavy load of assignments and study. he just wanted more. i dont know. its ok with me coz of love.

3 months ago, on the 16th of september, he dumped me 2 days before our anniversary. i was shocked. i wasnt expecting that. i begged him to stay, i said "you will regret dumping me". his response was "i know i will but i m still dumping you". after all that, i feel so sad. i was appealed. i didnt know what to do. i dont know why he dumped me. he said coz i didnt giv him enough attention. i tried talking to him but his problem is he doesnt want to talk coz he said that "it will lead to fights". i told him that in a relationship, there are ups and downs and fights are nessasary too. he wouldnt listen.

he asked me back several times but i rejected. my best frens told me that i deserved better. coz they have seen him many times, been with him too when he was with me...i dont mind coz i know i still love him. i was hoping he would change back to the one in school. the one who was so nice, sweet, sincere and kind to me. the one whom i really really love with all my heart and soul.

yesterday, he asked me back. i told him i would tell him the answer yes or no today. today at 3.30 in the morning, he sent me several msgs saying the "wtf" word to me. its coz i posted that he dumped me in a forum which we both are active in. i told him its the truth, he did dump me. he said i shouldnt publisize it. but it was my close frens asking me about us. i cant lie. i dont want to lie actually. so i told them the truth that he did dump me after all. he broke off his friendship with me too and i m so sad now. i m not attempting suicide or anything. just want to voice out.

for those who actually read this thing, i thank you so much. just voicing my heart's dissatisfaction and sorrows.

[k3n 0]

when it's gone, it's gone

fall down, stand up and move on

[3feetsnow 0]

Take care! and life does go on...and you certainly deserve better!

[skye 0]

He is SUCH a LOSER. Sorry to say this but u have done all u cud for the relationship and it seems 1 sided to me. he doesnt seems to know how to appreciate you. Dont bother anymore. You will be able to find someone who knows how to appreciate you better .... be strong girl.

[cheekyboy 0]

Quistreous

you certainly deserved better...

no big loss to you, really...

the fact that you rejected him a few times after he dumped you shows that you've already come to terms with what you do not want out of a relationship eventhough you might've still loved him....

i understand that it still hurts that the friendship ended the way it did... but when u look back many years later, you'll realise that it was a blessing in disguise.

take your time to grief... then move on... there are better things in life than a lousy relationship and a lousier 'friend'!!!

[Shazzac 0]

You did the right thing by rejecting him when he wants you back. U see, once a thing ended, do not go back to it. For eg, relationships, working place. Like ken said, what's gone is gone.

U deserve better, yes you will hurt but time will heal u. Date more guys, see the world! Travel! Hang out with friends!

[eivan120 0]

You did the right thing by rejecting him when he wants you back. U see, once a thing ended, do not go back to it. For eg, relationships, working place. Like ken said, what's gone is gone.

U deserve better, yes you will hurt but time will heal u. Date more guys, see the world! Travel! Hang out with friends!

I totally agree with this. Life always change when we reach certain level. Your life in school, life in colleges, life during working n so on move along to a next level. It doesn't stay there, if it is then we human would never improved.

There r many ways that u can protect urself, e.g don overtrust him, don expect much from him. Always bear in mind that if u r able to protect urself, u'll be able to handle much more than a break up.

N another thing, try be content no matter what happen coz there's are many ppl out there that encounter worst n u're lucky u're not in those ppl shoes. "Life can be bitter n sweet, u can make a different at how it'll be" For me, i try my best to be happy always. Be strong girl n go for dates!

[epileatheral 0]

I'm not in any position to judge this. As I know, in a relationship, mistakes can happen. Everything happens.. there must be a reason. There must be a reason he had a sudden change attitude on you. The reason might be himself, a third party... or even, might be yourself without you knowing it.

The thing is, my advise for the guy is.. if you choose to let go, then be a man. Stick to your decision. 1 is 1, 0 is 0. U dump her already, then let her go, let her heal properly. Dun be like.. once a while, u felt lonely.. then u come back asking for her to get back to you. It's very unfair for her.

And Q, it's normal to be sad. But dun be sad for too long. It's normal for you to cry it over. But set a time limit to yourself.. 1 week time, u should stop crying it over and start things new. Get together with friends. Friends are the most important thing for you now.

[jess 0]

everything is fated..

just let it go~

[heartbroken 0]

is d matter of time..time ll heal u..trust me babe,u deserves a better one !

[always~ 0]

since the situation has grown into this manner...all i can say is jus let it go....he is a burden to you....be strong!

[YapThomas 0]

no point pulling it longer..

girl will suffer the most.. indeed i would say..

take care.. and move on is the solution

[tIcKLeMe 0]

ppl come and go, and they change as they grow older.

you'll find someone more deserving. we always do.

the pain you go through now will only toughen you up in the future. be strong.

[Quistreous 0]

thanks so much. i really appreciate all of you taking the time to read whatever I have voiced out inside me. thank you!

i m trying really hard to move on with my life at the very moment. thank you for all your support!

[stevieho 0]

you deserve someone better than a kid like him... there are so many many many fine gentlemens out there... so go out more often with your frens, meet lots and lots of ppl... who knows, you'll find your true love... somewhere waiting just for you...

keep reaching for the star ya !

[tIcKLeMe 0]

hehe no probs. you should know that when all fails, mybians will be there for u

[kyliemc 0]

d world is still spinning,it wont juz stop like tht.gurl,i think tht u've made a rite choice.if he's not meant 2 b urs,u'll lose him no matter wat..u've tried ur best 2 revive tht r/ship b4 it comes 2 an end.it means tht u've done ur part.it's time 2 move on n hold ur head high.u r strong,gurl..u r still young.u'll definitely meet a guy who appreciates n treats u like a princess...time will heal ur pain...

[me|issa 0]

Yes, I do agree too that time heals you. It's just a matter of time you will realize yourself that you're better off alone. The right one will come.

I too experience a heartbreak situation few months back but now I am back on track. Cried myself to sleep almost every night alone. No one knows bout it then and I felt the presure of letting go an 8 years relationship. I know it's a different story all together... but my main point here is.. Let it go!!! Enjoy life!!

Live life to the fullest like there's no tomorrow!!!

[Azxel 0]

So sorry that you have to go through all that. I think that in the beginning, there were these 'signs' that your (ex)bf doesn't really care for you. That Dota incident clearly showed you the type of person he is. Anyway, Dota sucks.

Time actually doesn't really heal us. It simply prolongs the inevitable. Perhaps, one day when you're both matured enough, you could have a proper closure, putting aside all that hurt and bad experiences behind you.

In the meantime, focus on your studies and live a fulfilled life with true friends.

[lordy 0]

Most break up is never pleasant. U did ur best to try to salvage the relationship despite facing all the heartache and dissapointment. When one door closes, another door will ultimately open for you.

[Quistreous 0]

i just hope that i can get over it. i m spending more time concentrating on my studies and doing well in it as well. i m practically married to my studies at the moment but tht doesnt mean i dont have a social life. its more like i dont think i want to get into a relationship at the moment.

[Azxel 0]

well... there's a saying that goes like this, Good things come to those who wait.

[lordy 0]

of course u can get over it. Just believe in urself and u shall over come all odds

[MikeJ 0]

You deserve better. Move on.

There's much more to life than just 1 person.

All the best to you.

[Guilty 0]

hmm.. its your first experience huh..

heheh... i wont say much but i will only say that i feel how you feel too...

i've heard of the way guys mistreat girls all the time and all these shit..

heck my nephew is a playboy.. =/ and as much as i hate playboys..

i gotta listen to his side of the story cause all stories have 2 sides..

plus i'm his uncle =.="

anyways my point here is that.. =) read and understood hope you recover from this "incident" soon..

=) we fall, we stand again...

we fall, we stand again...

we may always feel sad whenever we fall or hurt..

but we learn from falling...

i think that when you move on, you will feel like a better person and have more confidence in your self..

~juz an epiphany~