mistress

[greekgod 0]

quick question though

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'

if the woman is a widow... can any man marry her??

after all she does belong to someone once...

[lipice 0]

why do some women end up being someone's mistress?

for Love or for Money?

anyone care to give your opinion or comments?...based on experience or maybe u know someone who is......

Most of them are for money lor....

[cr3aMreApEr 0]

but y till dis day oso got lidat de hor.. sad sad..

BTW 1st post!! hahaha..

Edited March 26, 2008 by cr3aMreApEr

[dotti 0]

joukowski.. those theories canot be applied here.. lol.. maybe in business yeah.

Being a mistress is more about "wants" not needs i reckon

what do you think?

[sunny 0]

girls are getting more materialistic......normal guys on the street cannot satisfy them with material stuff.....so they would rather go for rich married man.

[cr3aMreApEr 0]

but dont they think that they might want to settle down on a stable life in later days?

[Joukowski 0]

but dont they think that they might want to settle down on a stable life in later days?

I think they do wanna settle down..... but with someone elses man.

[cr3aMreApEr 0]

dats gonna cause a big stir ma.. realli wanna know wat mistress-es realli thinking bout wat lo..

[veronwps 0]

well lots of mistress out there claim they r in for luv but seriously who r they fooling? have any1 met a poor mistress? I've known a few women who r mistress to wealthy men n only 1 actually got a wedding ceremony n the man have supported her for more than 20yrs. She's 1 of the lucky ones.

[pamster 0]

i know of two mistresses

first is this uncle from sarawak met the lady in the bar, the uncle bragged to her that he owns an industrial land in west malaysia. so the lady has a relationship with the uncle and follows him to west malaysia. uncle explain to the lady that they need to temporarily stay at a low cost condo because he needs to settle some financial stuff at the industrial land. the lady waited 6 months finally cannot tahan staying at the low cost condo, she marches up to the supposed "company" of the uncle and demands the executive director to step down and let the uncle takeover what's rightfully his.

then she finds out the uncle is just a manager, not the owner. she gets very angry and crazy shouting at everybody saying, "i want money now!". she even tired to commit suicide in hopes of people giving her money to shut up and go away. =___="

why is she a mistress? because the uncle is already married. wife and kids in sarawak. luckily his first wife is very clever and self-sufficient, quickly divorce him and carry on with her own business, now very successful. as for the uncle, everyday i hear he's still under pressure from his mistress (now is his alleged second wife) asking him for money even though she always switch jobs (sometimes sell office equipment, to selling kitchen appliance, now she's teaching yoga AT A FAMOUS FITNESS CENTER)

*

second mistress i know of is also an uneducated girl, met this rich uncle. my mom wasn't keen on the details but anyway somehow she seduce the uncle, the uncle rent one apartment for her in subang and even enroll her in metropolitan. the uncle is very infatuated with the girl, causing the poor rich wife alot of sadness. unfortunately she wasn't as clever as the first example, she put all her money, land titltes and bonds under a joint account with her husband, so he's actually wasting his wife money on the mistress also... don't know what happened in the end to the poor wife...

the wife had a crazy moment. one day she went to metropolitan, waited for the girl to come out and gave her one tight slap. she told all the metropolitan kids this girl is a uncle's mistress. (this happened in 2001)

[Joukowski 0]

yar lor pamster, such a sad story, i think in both stories the uncle is at fault also lar.

#1 this fellow lied to get laidlar. wah lau, tell leng lui @ a bar, he's owns the co. when hes only a mangerlar. Sounds like a clerk I know that was filling paperwork for the production manager at a co i work at long time ago who told a gal from another dept he's a assistant manager of our department. I had to leave the room before I fell over laughing. I guess you can take a lesson out of this lar, if someone tells you a story thats too good to be true to get you into bed, it probably is.....

#2 Also seems like the uncle is at faultlar. After sleep wif her first then find out the next morning shes a space cadet (ie nothing in the head), so have to enroll her into private college. Obviously told his wife he's seduced by this girl, wife also seems to believe him? I dunno lar?

Hey from your username, are a fan of the italian panerai watches that are called pam for short?

[pamster 0]

yeah stories like these make you feel like giving marriage a pass... u___u" seems like even highly educated guys can be tempted by mistresses

what are us good girls to do? can only hope the guy you love is one of the Good Guys and have your own bank account and... keep yourself constantly looking like a hot chic

p.s. wow are you a fan of those watches??? o__O tak tersangka

[greekgod 0]

....

dear pamster,

i think that you have not understand the word or the meaning marriage.... its really not a bad thing

if u do not marry... then imagine u have been going with a guy for 10 years out straight... u r already 30 years old... and tht guy the same age... soooo... one day the guy says... this is getting boring and decide he wan to split... AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO HIM? u can't stop him... u can't threaten him... obviously u can do nothing to him... y? because he has the right to do so... he is not practically responsible for you... as far as this world is concern... at the age of 24 u are a big girl and u can take care of yourself....

worst of all... after he left you then u found out u r pregnant... wat are u going to say to him? u have nothing on him except the baby... and what if he dun wan to have anything to do with the baby and you...

MAN... u r in deep trouble... u r begining to look like a balloon and u r alone... if u marry him u can still divorce him and take half his property... but u did not marry him and u have his baby...

marriage is not a guy thing... its a girl thing... to protect the girls from being use as whore and thrown into the street like a piece of rag...this is how it look in a bad sort of way... if u wan the good way... read love story or something...

receiving mistress and agreeing being one... both is at fault... so there is neva only one at fault... but 2

the guy being a perveted old man and the girl for being a greedy bastard...

Edited March 31, 2008 by greekgod

[Joukowski 0]

yeah stories like these make you feel like giving marriage a pass... u___u" seems like even highly educated guys can be tempted by mistresses

what are us good girls to do? can only hope the guy you love is one of the Good Guys and have your own bank account and... keep yourself constantly looking like a hot chic

p.s. wow are you a fan of those watches??? o__O tak tersangka

Yeah well, highly educated guys can be tempted, but they usually have their priorities straight as well. I'm 35 and married for almost 13 years now & have come to realise it's not all about being hot. Having a family and watching them grow up is more rewarding to me than than thinking how to get a mistress. Hope that makes me a good guy... it also helps that I believe my wifes a lotsmarter than she lets on so that I'm certain my life will end in a hurry if I get caught.

Yep, I'm also a fan of the Pams. Very nice mechanical dive watches, used by the Italian navy in WWII - although at their prices, you won't want to risk even swimming with them. They stand out very well. I've got a pam90, but really now want a pam111.

[Joukowski 0]

Ai yoh! greekgod what are you talking aboot? Why do you think marriage is only to protect girls meh? How can you think that's only the case? Are you married? hope not.

I also think you're wrong to say that marrige is not a guy thing, but i don't have time to discuss it here except to say your attitude is a problem because your lack of respect for others, especially to those you're looking forward to welcome into your family is disturbing and will only work to drive people who will be special to you away.

Look, i spend 2 years saving up and got married about 13 years ago in a church at age 23 because I wanted to. It was important to me because it was an expectation of our parents, relatives & people that we grew up with and called our friends. The good thing marrying chinese your family gives you money, on your wedding so I actually made a profit getting married.....

Also, you only get to do this once, so you might as well do it properly. I know my father in law had saw his daughter growing up and i'm certain had thought of the day he would give her away properly to someone that he would have painted as a picture in him mind all those many years - I know if i had a daughter I would. Do you think I only want to meet his expectations? No Sir, let me assure you I intend to exceed them.

[berlyn 0]

This question just reminded me the story I just read, Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter by Shoko Tendo. Why do some women are more prone to meeting someone else's huband will remain as a question no matter what researchers and theorists can conclude.

Would I say love is blind? The interesting fact I realized is every human being becomes vulnerable when it comes to matter of heart. When it is touched, it melts. See, just to check back to history, even the cruel rulers like Adolf Hitler or Yvan Tsar cannot escape from doing all they could for the woman they love. Or maybe look at Taj Mahal, Hanging Garden or even our very own Kelly's Castle, built for their loved one. So my thought when I saw this question would side for LOVE...cliche it sounds but it's so true...

[greekgod 0]

heh,

alrite... i appologize... for wat i have said... but i feel a little bit offended when someone says he or she doesn't want to get marry bcos of small little thing... compare now to last time marriage... especially chinese custom... i pretty sure the girls suffer the most... if marry wrongly to a very terrible guy then u will and must still live with him for the rest of their life... i kinda think marriage nowadays is much more open and happier... thinking of all those girls suffering last time... i kinda feel hurt that someone will juz says dun wan to marry nowadays... kinda show to how tough girls were last time and how fragile girls nowadays...

marriage for guys... hmmm... if i think deeply on that... i kinda feel that we dun actually have to marry... we are juz filling the expectation of our parents and family... mebbe wanted to show u are a mature man and stuff.... no offence though...

we get marry bcos we were drum into us since young... the reason now it is juz not fair we guys screw the girls and take no responsibility for it... tht is all i can see... please dun tell me about having decendants and all... we are not in the old age nemore...

and if you says your parents force u... well... its force... not need... you were force to get marry and not need to get marry...

guys dun need to get marry... but guys want or force to get marry => economics

about profit in marriage... urm... didn't see that far nor wanting to see it... i will probably get marry bcos of love... not money...

Edited April 1, 2008 by greekgod

[greekgod 0]

oh yeah...

if marriage is for guys... how come we dun get half the girls property when in divorce?

instead... the girls get half of our property instead...

and in Australia... there is a cohabitation rule... or defacto

if the girl live one year with you... and you kick her out after one year... u will have to give her half your property...

in Australia they don't believe in marriage... yet they still come out with something like defacto realtionship... the reason... to protect the girls...

Hey... dun get me wrong... i want to get marry... i m just giving out my points...

Edited April 1, 2008 by greekgod

[ryovan 0]

Yea..most of them are for money.

[Lookman 0]

Well I am a newbie here, (just joined today) but I think there is the other side of the mistress you need to also consider.

Being a mistress may not necessarily be for money but love. There are also reasons for and against why there should be mistresses.

Do note that in the olden days (like 40-50 years ago), having second/third wife (ala mistress) is a norm as that's the only way for uneducated poor female to be taken care of.

I come from a family where my mum's father has 2 wife and lived happily together.

Nowadays being a mistress seems to be a status thing for some where they can show off the wealth or being ashamed as kept woman.

Reasons for this (for the man) could be as simple as he just wants it when he needs it (you know what I mean) to not breaking up the family due to children.

It takes 2 to tango, so there is no good way about this but eventually it will come back and hurt all three parties.

That's my humble opinion.

[pamster 0]

hey greekgod,

heh i just came across this thread again. i may have caused some misunderstanding.

i do want to get married

but i'm saying that there's no way you can tell whether or not your hubby will have a mistress 5-10 years down the road

so my comment is, us girls can only hope we get those good guys that will stick to their women through thick and thin.

[greekgod 0]

hey greekgod,

heh i just came across this thread again. i may have caused some misunderstanding.

i do want to get married

but i'm saying that there's no way you can tell whether or not your hubby will have a mistress 5-10 years down the road

so my comment is, us girls can only hope we get those good guys that will stick to their women through thick and thin.

u can't hope... sometimes... things is better not leave it to fate... its better we are the ones who make it so to avoid it... there are many ways to stop a guy... but tht depends on how you do it.... but definitely all of us must never rely on fate too much...

if our guys do have mistress or our girls do have studs... it is ourselves to blame... even though we have try our best to avoid such thing from happening... well... it is still we are the one who chose tht person... so we are the one to blame in the end

[BabyHudu 0]

If there are any girls who are thinking to become mistress, I hope that you can rethink what you are doing. You are not only hurting yourself but also the family of the man that you 'love'. Put yourself in their shoes, what would you feel?

This doesn't just involve the 2 of you. It will create havoc on his wife and children.

[dee 0]

i personally think that is no wrong or right to this issue. some might think oh.. its so wrong to love a married man, but some love married man... they find them stable. and married man is the only relationship that you can "hit and run" if u don't want to be attach. you can have all the freedom you want.

or else, if a girl doesn't know the status of the guy, you cant blame her for being a mistress and ruining the family life of the family. i was in this relationship before. my ex was married, and he told me only after one month we were together. since they doesn't have the spark in their relationship anymore, i don't see a point that i cant be with him.. and also, they are in the process of divorce.

not all mistress wants money to spend. some of them maybe got hurt very bad in a relationship before making them hard to trust someone. they turn to married of a guy in a relationship because they are afraid of being attached and getting hurt again.

[Joukowski 0]

Hey Dee, did you read what you wrote? it's ok to love a married man because they're stable & its' ok to hit and run? What's this about the getting all the freedom you want if you use it to systematicaly wreck someone elses marriage?

So you were duped by your man because he started a relationship with you then got secretly married to someone else so I can agree with you that it's not your fault if you didn't know you were going out with a married man.

If you think this fellow is the man for you I rest my case.