Joukowski

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About Joukowski

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    Infant Babe
  • Birthday 01/10/1973

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  1. hey looks like you 2 are very successful but also really busy.... I'd say take it slow because having a face to face conversation is sometimes harder than it seems. Anyone can share easily via sms and it takes only a few seconds to knock a one line sms off. But face to face - hey there's so much more information to process... what's she thinking? that eyebrow movement? what does that mean? Am i sending the right signals? Does he like what I'm wearing? In 2 seconds, your brains overloaded with information. & its stressful, you cant delete what you've just said to his face like an sms..... Ok, sounds like you're ready to take the friendship to the next level, I think he's ready too but approaching it conservatively & taking a better be safe than sorry attitude. That's the adventure of being alife! Enjoy his company and relax, he'll come around. Be yourself. Have fun!
  2. Agree you're marrying him not his parents.... furthermore: think of what the occassion was - where protocols such as being on time is important to make a good impression. Maybe this is important to dad. Yep, being punctual is very important to my father-in-law too, i can never figure out why but have accepted it. He doesn't scole me because i'm taller but shows me a sour face until i wanna punch his lights out. This is probably more embarassing to dad and to you, imagine a son coming to dad saying "why you so mad with my gf? only 5mins late? How long you wait everyday going to work in traffic jams?" or to that effect... of course he'll make up some excuse and dismiss your feelings.... so that everyone's confused - even you. Got to give your bf full credit going up to dad to talk it over tho. Because i think your bf & you can manage his parents properly, I might let it slip and make a note to be early for anything involving dad in the future. ok so what's the problem with mummy?
  3. Dear Doctor2B, good to hear you're taking steps to address the physical hitting. This type of agression doesn't solve anything and clouds judgement. Alright - your studies fees are a big load on their finances. That would tend to put anyone at a higher level of stress. use this knowledge to reinforce you motivation to get your studies over and done with asap. About them repeating themselves and saying stuff that isn't helpful when stressed: I think that's something that you need to live with. Being aware that your parents haven't have the benefit of education like you do and probably need to say things a few times so it sinks in for them, while you get the point after being told once. They do have a valid point, being married technically you should be supported by your own family. However currently its not possible. Don't worry about it, once you get your degree, they'll be delighted beyond words and all this will be forgotten. Agree it cuts you more hearing what they say when stressed. In the end, I'm thinking you should put what you write in here to your parents - maybe direct them here to have a read. Not during a moment of anger or fustration, but when they're calm and open to constructive discussion. Because you express yourself perfectly on paper, to have their blessing to move out from the protection under their wing in order to face the world & all it's problems yourself under your own terms. Even if they disagree with your methods and solution.... But let me say you have everything you want already - the blessing and ability to evaluate your options and pick a course of action, although it's nice to have a little reminder and assurance now and then. You got their blessing when you got married. You already have your freedom living with your husband when you're away, and when you go home, you have your parents protection. And it gets better, because no matter what happens next, your mother and father will always be your parents. They will always want the best for you. They will always be over protective when ever you are home. And they will always love you very much. Kind Regards, J
  4. That's a mini skirt, & from your discription of your wokplace I wouldn't wear that to work.... As to what to wear for for, just observe what your boss wears and follow their style.
  5. Don't worry about it, just wash your hair more often.
  6. Congradulations for getting into medicine, that's a tough course to complete! It's further made more difficult because of home issues with your husband. Ok so first thing's first: 1. Your husband cannot hit you. Not only that, his job in life is supposed protect you from harm. So you cannot agree to keep quiet if he hits you... you have to tell someone. This is of course terribly embarrassing for him, that's why he wants you to keep quiet, saying your parents will side you and hate him. So what does he expect your parents to do otherwise? Having your bruises seen and reported by your sister is a terrible way for your parents to learnt you are being abused. Of course they're going to be overly protective of you. What do you expect? You are their daughter. 2. Your Hubby is young - & life with it's complications is currently stressing him out. That's good in a way because stress makes a man grow up. However, maturity is something he needs to work on for himself, and getting real life experience is not always easy nor comfortable. 3. "[color="#5C6375"][size="2"]I take my parents side, my hubby will ask me to go back to my family" [/size][/color]Ok - go back to your family then. Is this man your husband or not? When things get rough he sends you back to your parents for warranty service support? He needs to improve his life's skills. Believe me, your parents says nothing about it but they know this. 4. Your Parents - Is probably suffering in silence knowing you are being beaten by your husband. Nothing cuts the heart out of mum and dad more than knowing their daughter has left home to live with someone who has demonstrated that he will lash out and hit a girl - his own girl. You are currently overseas: who you are with & where you are staying is not safe. Every time they finish speaking to you they're afraid you will be beaten. Of course when you get home, your parents want you to stay with them. Ok so in conclusion, your parents want the best for you and you need to graduate in 2 years time because this is costing them a lot of money. Mum and dad regrets they gave you away in marriage to this person in the first place. You have pretty much gotten your way with mum & dad until now, until they learnt that you are not being adequately cared for, nor are you totally safe living with your husband. Your husband may not hit you again.
  7. ok, so another version of "take him out" coud be being more pro-active when you're going out together.... have a say in the agenda & not leave it up to him to make all the decisions to take you around & drive the program for the night. So don't confine your options to just "yes" or "no" decisions to proposed activities. Be engaged in option studies with him because dinner is nice, but you also want some variation in order to sustain the interest in looking forward to furture dates together. Remembering that you're 50% responsible to ensure that the outing becomes enjoyable for the 2 of you. Now snooker is a great way to start another activity together. Good for laughs, and you can lay down some determination to get real good at this with his assistance in order to show the other girls in a few months time what you can really do!
  8. Anything else you 2 like doing together other than dinners? play some sports? or you can learn how to service a car and show him a thing or 2?
  9. Good question - people have fun when they engage together in comon activities that they both enjoy. But on saying that, please be careful where some of these activities may lead so it's a good idea to setup in your mind some behavior boundaries that you know you shouldn't cross. A good guide would be stuff you wouldn't like your daughter to be engaged in if you were a mother. It's great that he's inviting you out. & to mirror his behavior, you might consider taking him out occassionally too, within boundaries of study time and budget in order to receprocate your interest in his company. Remember that the focus of going out is in each others company, the place and cost is secondary. Take things easy & have fun!
  10. Congradulations on your internship appointment! Ok re: office wear it's best to dress at the level of how others around you and you boss dresses to. Bankers like lawyers tend to dress a bit more better then the general population.... In any case the key is to furnish a professional presentation, so that includes, making appointments on time to proper foot wear... no offensive body odor, or punk hair cuts and the like.
  11. Hey, Don't worry about it & take it easy because that's life. But think about it - who's the focus of his attention? You or her? If currently it's her, then he'll need time to come around. But meanwhile, be your good natured self & mirror his behaviour.
  12. well, I'll start by considering what your interests are and start seeing if there are ways you could pursue them.
  13. ok.... it all depends on how old you are right now as well. If you're working & over 30 then I'd say go for it because you've got some exposure to the world and should be able to evaluate your position with a fair degree of certainty with the real life experience under your belt. If you're teen & early 20s then I'd suggest you take you parents advise and just remain friends because your priority in life should now be very different. Also safest at this stage to rely on parents judgement due to lack of worldy experience. Don't follow the idea that you should try before you buy... the outcome of this approach is usually very poor. Now if you're over 35, then don't be confuse - go for it. You'll respect parents advise but you don't have to take it.
  14. [quote name='leeya' date='20 August 2010 - 09:21 AM' timestamp='1282267290' post='587964'] Hey people.. I failed last week. T.T When I was about to talk to him.. My friends keep coming to me and talk with me.. I couldn't find an appropriate timing to talk to him.. [/quote] Don't worry about it because it's all good experience. Its always hard to get a on-on-one conversation going in gathering without interuptions. Gathering are set up and of course more fun if 4-5 people all have a conversation & talk together at the same time. Think of how you can include your friends and this boy in discussion the next time, and don't worry or focus on just how to get one-on-one time with him with a set series of questions to ask him alone. So, Gathering = talk with him and friends together & expect people to butt in and join your conversation while you're talking... which is why gatherings are fun.... Date = one-on-one time where you can plan and set out precisely the questions and what you want to ask him. Good luck and have fun.
  15. Don't do it. Apart from being a waste of money, if having double eyelits would magically make your accept yourself better, i think you might be a bit disappointed with the results. Be kind, generous of heart and accept other for being who and how they look. You'll find life more rewarding if you focus on the full package that comes with the person rather than one object of interest such eyelids, or hair, nose....etc. where you will miss the bigger picture and the fullness of life that being different brings out in each one of us.