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About greekgod

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    NewBorn Babe
  • Birthday 08/12/1981

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  1. Dear chix87,   From where I am looking right now, I think you are choosing the best scenario for you. I agree that no matter how many chance you give him, he will not change becos he don't see the need to. However, one might question why he did it? Is he really a playboy? or becos of something else? :)   One can keep looking at another and find fault of another not realising that one is also at fault. You keep saying you are pretty and stuff like that, but one can ask why your husband choose someone that is not that pretty over someone he already has, who is much prettier? The answer might be becos he got burn by someone pretty?   The above is something one should ponder for it takes two to create a problem or a fight.   I am not saying you should go back to him but for your own good and future as well as for your children, you should look deep into yourself and see whether you are the problem to begin with? I do not know you but I know enough that human only see outward and never inward. One should reflect within for what is within attract what is without. When one change within then without change with them.   The above sounded like you are the cause of this entire scenario but its just a presumption and I am not blaming you. As I said, I don't know you and I don't know the entire situation. I might hear your side of the story but I did not hear his side of the story. Only when I hear both side does the whole story come to being and not just half. Just like your marriage, it takes two to become one. :)   Yes yes, you already file your divorce and see this entire thing that I have written as particularly small but what makes you think the entire scenario won't replay itself? If you are the problem that I can say, "Its not over." :)   Peace be with you.
  2. I have to agree with Debbie Wan. Those two option is a direct solution to your problem.   Truth is, if I am in your shoe, I would choose 2 no matter how madly in love with that someone. You are going to live with his family and mother for life if you are ok going on with it. Things won't be improving any time soon from the look at the story above and if you are ok with it then you yourself have to improved. I do not know you but this situation looks like you are the one who is going to get improved. If not, then you won't be asking the question above.   However, as I said, I don't know you so I don't know how bad or good you were on treating others as well as yourself. So I am not saying your bf parents and mother is in the right or you are in the right. This option above is quite clear.   1st option is you have to suffer to it all in order to be happy. Don't ask me when happiness will come your way but you have to stick to your relationship. One word for the 1st option, suffering.   2nd option is you leave and be done with it. You may suffer some set back but it won't be long and there is more happiness in the near future if you know where to look for it. :)   So either suffer more or suffer less. :)   Peace be with you.
  3. I agree with Asrafen... But unfortunately for his statement... Guys don't question about virginity... They just choose whoever they like... Many will choose virgin... And why not? Great for guys ego... Great for his personality... And Great for his status in society....
  4. I am not harsh. However I appologize for hurting you. And it is true that we cannot know what you are truly asking as we really are not psychic. Why do you wish us to fumble in the dark not knowing how to really help you? We have to be responsible for every advice we say or write. Please eloberate on what is on your mind. Peace be with you.
  5. I agree with Cyber. However, you can point out this to your guy friend. "Why do you allowed yourself to be controlled by others?" From my perpective, the guy you want to date is really weak. He is not capable of standing on his feet firmly. He is not confident and cannot make decision on his own. To date you is to "hopefully" be happy in the future. I don't know. LOL!!! How was I supposed to know you won't control him as well? LOL!!! Ehem... now joke aside... Lets put an example in guy perpective. If a guy was to go out with a girl he likes then in normal circumstances will do it automatically. Whats wrong with going out with a person who you believe will make you happy or you hope to give happiness? To look left and look right, hoping to get opinion whether the girl is good or not, isn't also a bad thing. Becos you are too lovestruck, then your vision is narrow so you see nothing but the girls beauty. Who knows, she may be beautiful but she might be a walking time bomb or something. But once you know her background, then you can be the judge of whether she suits you or not when you date her. Dating is a session of "Are you the one I am waiting for?" then follow by answer and then going out. It is not dating anymore after this but in a relationship. So what I am practically saying is, this is a very normal circumstances. BUT apparently your guy friend is not like that and it doesn't seems like you are dating him but more like dating his best friend. Its like his guy friend is his mother or teacher or Boss. Your guy friend is .... why do you want such a guy? He will probably glue to you and look for you decision. He is more girl like and not manly. If I am in his shoe, I would tell his friend, it is not you who is going to live with her so why all the complained? Peace be with you.
  6. Please eloberate my dear. We are not psychic unless you know there is one in this forum. Then I sincerely apologize. Peace be with you.
  7. You already knew the answer to it. If I were you, and I am a guy by the way, I would have walk away... He don't actually love you more like using you. And you are [u]allowing[/u] him to use you. You are also [u]allowing[/u] yourself to feel insecure. All human have an average of 100 years life. So why waste your time on such a person. He will never change becos he don't see the need to. You however have to change your own way of life. Why do you want your way of life to be full of sadness, insecurity, and clinging? You are [u]clinging[/u] to him becos you think he is the only idiot who can bring you happiness. And becos you are with an idiot, you are even more idiotic then him becos you [u]allowed[/u] yourself to be fool by him. You are closing your eyes to all the obvious sign of unfaithfulness. You are actually escaping from reality and hoping for a better future. RIght [u]NOW[/u] he is being unfaithful to you. What make you so sure that he will change in the future? If he is meant for you, if you leave him now, no matter what happen, eventually he will come back to your side and a better man. You cannot change his life and his way of thinking. [u]The only thing in your power to change is your way of life[/u]. Only when there is changes within you then will changes without follows. External force will only change when you change within. Life is a reflection of you. Somewhere within you, you are definitely afraid of unfaithfulness. You are showing it now even in the forum. Work on that by believing more of yourself. If you don't trust yourself then who will trust you? If you are trustworthy then life will reflect back what you are. You may not believe me but this is how life is. Yes yes, Break up is tough. Why it is tough? Becos you are influence by happy moment in your head. Your mind love to play happy moment with him. It is like a tape recorder without a stop button. But do realised that, the moments has already past. Your happy moments "that time" has already pass so why are you still trap there? Peace be with you.
  8. You have to learn that what you resist, it will persist. So no, unless he himself realize his error, don't even dream of your message getting through him. Peace be with you
  9. You are truly a wonder... You begin to ask us about the future when none of us can give you that answer.... But if you are asking about what you should do NOW which is present then ask yourself this, are you doing good things? Are being kind or understanding? I think it is time for you to look within and ask yourself, How do you want others to treat you? If you want other to treat you better then continue to practice being good. Life is actually a reflection of yourself or another words a mirror of yourself... Whatever bad things you do then the bad thing will eventually return to you which also apply to the good things... Do not be a good person. If you say and think you are a good person then you are on the wrong path.... Now why I say that? To say you are a good person then you are actually doing good things just to get anothers attention. You are not doing good things with pure intention but instead demand attention of another. So by saying you are a Good person which mean you are [u]identifying[/u] yourself with the good things you did and telling others you have done good things and [u]you demand respect.[/u] By doing it with pure intention then life itself will give you back what you deserve with pure intention. I said [u]life is like a mirror[/u], so if you do things that [u]involve demands[/u] then life will also [u]give you back[/u] things that require demands as well. So practice everything in life with pure intention so that the return from life is also pure. Whatever you ditch out will eventually comeback to you. So be very alert of you every action daily. I know I am asking a little too much when I say every action daily but you can be sure I am working towards that as well.... I didn't say you must do it immediately but try and catch yourself if you think of doing anything bad and maybe turn it good daily... If not, then pick a spiritual book or two and start from there... I am pretty sure I shared Eckhart Tolle's book to you guys... Peace be with you.
  10. I think he is in need of attention or help of somekind that is why he is so angry and moody. I too understand why you hate him becos he is doing harm not only to you but your precious children as well. As Mebbe said above, perhaps it is time to talk to him about why he need to harm you and your children. When you talk to him, make sure you are very calm and not influence by the previous event like the one you said above. If you were to get angry then he will get angry as well then there is no discussion but only violence, depress and eventually hatred. Anger does not bring change to the situation but being calm and understanding will open to chances of change. I know it is a very hard thing to do when you meet an angry person who show you nothing but spite and anger. No one wants to be in the receiving end, but you are not doing for yourself only. You are doing it for your kids, and most likely your future. So be very calm and understanding. Try and remember the importance in your life like your children's future. Your children's future will most likely be influence by all the anger and hatred from your family. Do you want your children to follow you and your husband? Be calm, at peace and be aware of the anger that arises in you. If you can stop it from happening then at least there is a chance for a better future. When you talk to an angry person, make sure to be aware of the conversation. Be very aware where the conversation is [u]going to[/u] and be aware that you [u]should not be drag in together in this conversation emotionally[/u]. An angry person will most likely drag you in and make you angry as well. Putting more anger in this situation will cause [u]more harm then good[/u] so you must maintain your calmness. If you feel the slightest bit of anger, then be aware of your breathing. If your breathing is short then it means you are going to be angry so all you have to do is change your breath to a longer breath. Or look within you, and check if there is anger and if there is, try and control it temporarily. Do not ever control anger becos you don't want to hurt your husband but [u]control your anger for yourself and your children[/u]. All the above is very hard to do for a normal man or woman but sometimes we need to do what we had to do for [u]a change in our life[/u]. If you do not have the courage or the confident then ) use your husband as a target practice. You don't need to talk to him immediately right? So let him scold you while you practice your calmness within. Try and imagine all the scolding is like a beautiful river in the forest. Will the river in the forest offend you? No, right. Practice calmness whenever your husband anger arises and if you are able to, smile to him. He may think you are mad but this is a big step to a better future. A smile is something an angry person cannot forseen or expect. If you are able to then give not just any smile but a pleasant smile then eventhough he think you are insane but nevertheless he won't hurt you anymore. Who knows, a pleasant smile might even wake him from his anger and let him see that he is actually hurting his love one. Remember, practice calmness and not anger for it may bring change to you and your children's life and future. Peace be with you.
  11. Here is something I like to share about children teaching. I shared this advice in another forum and it is a reminder to me of the wise word Venerable Ji Xing shared with me. He is a monk by the way and I have ever since learn a lot from his wise words. Here is something I was told by him about teaching your children... I will try my best to remember... [i]"How do you teach your children?"[/i] Mummy, Daddy take the best food and put on the children plate.. When the children cry, "Don't cry, daddy will buy you Ice cream." No.... This is not the way to do this... Children is your gold mine. If you teach your children right it is a gold mine. But if you teach them wrong.... Many parents didn't notice and so they let their maids take care of them. You are actually investing dangerously. When you are at the dinner table. "Son, look what daddy do. Daddy take the best and give it to Mummy, Granny and Grandpa before finally Daddy eat." "Daughter, look what Mummy do. Mummy take the best and give it to Daddy, Granny and Grandpa before finally Mummy eat." When you go out. "Son, Daddy have bought everything that Daddy need to buy. What else do you need to buy? Nothing? How dare you? Your Mummy is cooking for you at home for you and taking care of you everyday. How could you not buy something for Mummy? You must not go home empty handed." Mummy will definitely try and say no need to buy for her anything but how does mummy feel when her child give her a present for all the deeds she has done? "Son, Mummy have bought everything that Mummy need to buy. What else do you need to buy? Nothing? How dare you? Your Father has to work day and night to provide our family food on the table. How could you not buy something for Daddy? You must not go home empty handed." Daddy will smile and also try and and say no need to buy for him anything but how does daddy feel when his child give him a present for all the deeds he has done? This is his wise teaching. Peace be with you.
  12. I am not the one who is pointing finger... If I were to blame, I blame the entire human civilization since the starting of mankind... Please read properly below... [i]If you were to point your finger at all men then you are also pointing at yourself for as I have said, man's upbringing is [u]shared[/u] by mother as well.[/i] Upbringing is been [u]shared[/u]... Not done alone... [u]If I were to point a finger at you, I will be pointing at myself as well[/u]... Man's upbringing is the result of both sexes which is Husband and Wife... ... I find that you are truly unstable and very edgy... Do you hate men? Or do you just hate me? I do not blame anybody but [u]it is as it is[/u]... You can't [u]change the fact[/u] that this upbringing has been here for a long time and it cannot change over night... This is been every spiritual teachers fight... The fight against ego... You went very offensive becos somewhere within you, you find it that my quote has tarnished your image as a women... Image that you have been seeing yourself of in you.... You feel you are perfect and are proud of being a women and so whenever someone was to cross or tarnished or even smudge it then you will burst... What if I were to tell you that, that image is an illusion? Image is self limiting... Just becos you are a women you should do this... just becos you are women you should do that... Let me point it out to you, you are trap within the role of a women... [i]I for one, am a fair person when it comes to both men and women. I am someone who thinks that it's bullshit that women automatically get custody of children purely because she's the mother even if the children request to live with the father. I think it's bullshit that women bitch and moan about wanting equal rights but then expect men to open doors for them, pay for meals and finance their shopping sprees.[/i] "Bullshit"? You can see how much suffering you have been ditching out to other people... calling people bullshit is just trying to insult and lay low another so that [u]your ego[/u] or image rise above them.... I can imagine you are high above the sky.... so you are [u]trudging on others suffering[/u] so that you can be above others... I would not condemn other of their helplessness nor ignore their plea if they needed help... Be kind and compassionate... Don't look down on another just to make yourself feel good and think you are above others. Equal rights is something that [u]humanity should realise[/u] and eventhough women like you try and point out weaknesses of men,[u] just like you[/u], pointing out at weaknesses tarnished men's image and start an outburst or even violence.... Do you know how many women is dead just fighting for equal rights in America? By pointing out weaknesses is asking for retaliation unless you were ask to... So be [u]very aware[/u] of what you wish to say... [b]"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them at least don't hurt them." ~ Dalai Lama[/b] By the way, I am not making excuse for man. I am a man so I used my own gender as an easy reference. I did not even once say women is at fault entirely but [u]partly[/u]. So please read carefully before you start another round. Never once do I say men is not at fault and are innocence victim of women. [b]No[/b]. If I were to say it then I am very much consumed by my own ego as well. It took me a few months to lower and control my ego and it even took me many years to realise the illusion or the fakeness of it. Don't get me wrong, I am still a long way to go, to actually be free of ego so [u]I am not above you[/u]. I am very much your equal. Every individual has to be responsible for themselves like their behaviour, their thoughts, their action, and their feelings. Blaming will not bring change but showing people how to change is bringing changes and you changing is also bringing changes to the situation. Peace be with you.
  13. [i]still does not excuse the double standard men whose egos are dependent on the double standard are not men. I think the image that one should have of oneself should be what others perceive him to be.[/i] My dear, if you wish to point out that men is unfair towards girls and womens then you are in for a very hard fight for it can easily counter with another finger pointing. If you were to point your finger at all men then you are also pointing at yourself for as I have said, man's upbringing is shared by mother as well. So be aware that pointing your finger at another does not change the situation. You do not point at another to hope for a change but you should be the change. Peace be with you.
  14. Happiness will eventually lead to sadness. That is how it is but why is it like that? It is a simple reasoning. You are too attach to happy memory and you crave too much of happiness that is why when the moment past, you ended up being sad. "It too shall pass." The most famous saying from ancient time. Practically saying, everything in this world is impermanent. Your body is not permanent. You will grow old and eventually die. Your car is not permanent becos eventually it too will rust and eventually ended up in the scrap yard. Your property and whatever you think you have shall not last. "It too shall pass." So what in this world will last. You. But not the you in the mirror but another you. Not the you in the mind but a you that is not of the body. So who exactly are you? Another thing that last is peace. But not just any peace but Inner peace. Oh yeah, you seen kung fu panda and heard his master's saying but it is the truth. So what is inner peace? Here is an example, imagine a huge lake. On the surface of the water, it will always move and sometimes there is huge wave. This is the surface of the lake. But what about the bottom of the lake? Is it affected by the surface? No, it is not affected but calm, quiet and peaceful. This is inner peace. Through inner peace then will you find true joy and happiness but it is something that require a lot of practice. It is the teaching of the Buddha and somewhere in the New testament, Jesus Christ himself was pointing it out to us as well. Where is heaven? "Heaven is among you now." [i]Well, like the Master Sifu in Kung Fu panda says : “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift”. [/i] A beautiful saying but how many of you can live exactly in the present. Living in the present needs practice and not just knowing that the present exist. How many of you live in the Moment or Now and not the past nor the future? Peace be with you.
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