shall i go back with him? or not?

[dee 0]

when i was with my ex, i trust him fully.. he gave me access to everything that is enabled with password but i did not check anything... till one fine day when i check him computer, i saw intimate pictures of he and his ex and to him, he said it was for memories.. and i didnt care as i believe that everyone have a past. one day on our anniversary, i used his phone to get a contact, and accidentally went into his inbox, i saw tonnes of messages from a girl. which made me upset.. and we broke up.. we had a bad breakup.

months after we broke up, a week ago, i saw him... and i didnt feel right so i keep avoiding him till two days ago where he saw me. he was asking for my new number and all.. today, he asked me to be his girlfriend again... should i? or should i not? i cant say that we been through a lot, but not little also... at least, he proposed to me once and gave me a proposal ring, which i am still keeping...

[lemon~ 0]

Before the breakup, you mentioned that you accidently went into your bf's inbox. Did you read any of the contents? If not knowing what exactly the content is and you straight away broke up might be a harsh decision. What i'm trying to say is that that girl prolly in need of someone comfort or just a friend of his maybe? Have you try to ask him who the girl is? Sometime boys do have hard time telling their partner that another girl is in need of comfort, but did you give him any chance to explain?

After the explainnation did you do any checking of the girl and the statement your bf told you whether is true or not?

If your bf is lying then then you left him in the first place is a right decision. As he is not sincere with the relationship with you.

Either you want to give him another chance or not is up to your own decision. If he actually learn from his mistake and willing to be faithful to you then you can give it another go. For me i think a second is also the last chance otherwise there will be third and fourth time .... which will only hurt you again and again. ... . . ..

Else try to forget bout him and move on with your life to find your better half.

Take care and Good luck.

[Cas 0]

Personally I wouldn’t’ get back with an ex. After all you broke off for a reason. I always take breaking up as a sign of that he’s not the one for me. But honestly if you want to give him a second chance, it’s possible although I’m quite sure things just won’t be the same anymore.

[::Nicole:: 0]

yea i agree with cas.. even if u do get back with him, u won't trust him like how u did last time plus u'd have doubts on every single thing he does.. u'd be suspicious and later probably u'd have a break down.. so think twice

[blushger 0]

yea i agree with cas n nicole.. think again.

[@eMiLy 0]

If i were you i would definitely prefer my bf to tell me that he is texting with this girl coz she needs some comfort. Not until i found out and jeopardise the relationship. For wutever reason, there is always a limit. I wouldnt want my bf to be so close to other gals.

I agree with the rest, once brokeoff then i wouldnt look back coz i know i will always be suspicious.

[dee 0]

yes, i checked his phone and saw messages.. but i only look through a few and i went furious and walked out his house. i thought they were friends so the next day i went back. because he was begging me for another chance, i thought maybe should give him as i really love him alot. i thought i can give him a surprise... but he gave me a bigger surprise. i caught him in bed with her. that was the time we really broke up. and after that, alot of things still keep happening...

[Cas 0]

oh wow sorry to hear that. And despite all that, are you still contemplating on giving him a second chance?? I say move on coz you deserve better!

[@eMiLy 0]

Move on!! He is not worth for you gal!! Just ignore this jerk.....this is what i could say.

[hani31 0]

the next day u went back and u caught him in bed with that girl ????!!!!!!!!!!!........and u STILL want to get back to him??????........

move on.........pls

[Jna 0]

he may deserve a 2nd chance if ONLY he repent for wut he did, BUT sorry to say u can't be the one who give him that 2nd chance coz i always heard the "he'll do u once, he'll definately do u twice" incidents always occur when the same person giving chances. if u know wut it means. think about it it's up to ur decision. rewind and play backs happens too much.

[baby_rachy 0]

yes, i checked his phone and saw messages.. but i only look through a few and i went furious and walked out his house. i thought they were friends so the next day i went back. because he was begging me for another chance, i thought maybe should give him as i really love him alot. i thought i can give him a surprise... but he gave me a bigger surprise. i caught him in bed with her. that was the time we really broke up. and after that, alot of things still keep happening...

He is DEFINATELY not worth your time. You basically caught him in bed with another gal JUST the next day after you guys hastily broke off. If he sincerely cares enough for you, at least the next day he should be finding ways to get you back instead of hanky panky with another gal on the bed. Additionally since he's begging you for another chance AND having an affair at the same time, I doubt he is not a two-face jerk. It will be very risky and not worth it getting back together with him. He could hurt you again cause the offence is too serious. You never knows when he will cheat on you again and act as of nothing happen. You deserve someone better. Just take your time to think about it, no hurry in making the decision....Wish you all the best..

[lsyih 0]

For me...i will choose nt to be together again. As breakup is a choice tat most of couple would nt like to choose. So to breakup really need a reason for it.

Dee...for ur case..

If i were u, i sure wont back to him again. As u said he give u a big surprise and a surprise that most of gal nt able to forgive.

Get another guy and forget bout him...

Good luck to u...

[sandra.siaoli 0]

for me, i think i will give him a 2nd chance, but then of couse you may need to see how his perfomance!!

decision is on you!!

[dee 0]

ya... i called him up for a meet up yesterday. and guess what, i no longer feel afraid seeing him. i tagged a boyf of mine along. and things got cleared between the both of us. i feel so much better today!

[NeO SaMuRaI 0]

Personally I wouldn't' get back with an ex. After all you broke off for a reason. I always take breaking up as a sign of that he's not the one for me. But honestly if you want to give him a second chance, it's possible although I'm quite sure things just won't be the same anymore.

^^

We're on the same page here Cas. I figure if you can't work things out and it gets to the point where you are seriously considering breaking up, well you're obviously better off without each other...or if you're lucky, maybe as friends sometime down the track.

To the threadstarter, wow...I really can't believe you'd even think about getting back with a guy after all that! I think he's shown himself to be very untrustworthy, and certainly not worth your time. But hey, thats just me...its your life, and maybe you see something there that we all don't. If I were in your shoes though, I wouldn't even contemplate it.

[Miu 0]

i have the urge to kill both your x and the girl who gatal to him.

[dee 0]

i have the urge to kill both your x and the girl who gatal to him.

haha. at the point of breakup, i thought of it too. but now, i felt is no point cause he can leave me for her, and also can leave her for another girl. and so, he did...

[BabyHudu 0]

Erm....you shud really think this through.

I can emphatize with you regarding this matter. Although I did not catch my ex in bed with another gal, however, what happened was my ex did cheat on me. Cant remember how I found out. Anyway, we had a huge arguement about this. I was really hurt and disappointed as he was my first love. After some time, I forgave him and took him back as a bf.

Imagine my grief when half a year later, the 3rd party called me up. She told me that she is still with him and that she is pregnant. OMG! She asked me to give him up as she wants to marry him!!!!! I was so so sad and hurt coz I forgave him the first time and all along I thought that we have solved whatever differences we had between us. I was even more hurt as this was the 2nd time and with the same gal!

So in the end, I decided to split up with him. And I'm glad that I did as I know for a fact that he is married already and yet still looking for affairs outside. So do think twice about getting together again. Not saying that all men will repeat the same mistake twice but the probability is higher. Not to mention the trust factor between you and him.

The first thought that I had when I first found out about the 3rd party is 'What is it about me that is not good enough about me that made him look for others?' That was this self doubt that I am not good enough. When he ask me to forgive him and he admitted that he wanted me back, I felt that I had triumphed. That he chose me over the other gal. That I am better than the other gal. Coz in the end, he chose me. That was how I felt. That somehow by wanting to be with me again, has heal a huge part of my wound.

There is the saying that goes like this "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

So do consider it properly. Make sure that you are getting back with him for the right reasons. Not just to satisfy you ego or anything else.

Cheers!

[AdamG 0]

Dang, were they doing it when you walk right in?

I am surprised you didn't get a knife and stab him and the bitch ass hoe.

[Teff 0]

darn girl! U caught them in bed together and you're actually still contemplating? Hello, wake up..this is the 21st century....there are still other guys out there if you know what I mean...and yeah I agree with Adam..it's a surprise that you didnt whack the crap out of them..I would've bludgeoned them to death if I were you..

Edited April 24, 2008 by Teff

[greekgod 0]

dear dee,

in the thread "mistress"

you were talking about freedom... so base on that thread

i think your ex bf has every right to do what he has done... and you should not take too much into mind... after all... it is his "freedom"

i m sorry for being so rude and clear... but i think you should start be responsible for wat you say or ... well... u might get to experience it in life

Edited April 24, 2008 by greekgod

[dee 0]

greekgod: maybe is because i was born in such environment or what. listening to people being the third party seems to be normal to me. so, i actually got immune to it. a normal person will hate him very much. but, yes.. i am angry, but after a while i am ok with it. the reason i hesitate being with him is i still miss the time being with him.

[Sam 0]

In short, Don't make an U-turn unless you're SURE he is someone worth to you to make a RISK.

[mangosherbet 0]

greekgod: maybe is because i was born in such environment or what. listening to people being the third party seems to be normal to me. so, i actually got immune to it. a normal person will hate him very much. but, yes.. i am angry, but after a while i am ok with it. the reason i hesitate being with him is i still miss the time being with him.

Hi, I think this guy is not worth your time and love. You deserve better.

No matter what you are immune to, it does not make it right.

Good to hear that you are ok with it now.

Take care