Interacial and Inter-religion Relationships

[spidergirl 0]

hi Quen^nie

thanks for d comfort.u know,i actually dont mind converting n changing my name (dont call me crazy),but the thing is..lets say 'IF' we go another step further aka married,im not sure whether i can actually cope wif muslim teaching or not,cos u c i dont like to wrap myself up in clothes,having to do 5 times prayer a day,fasting,etc.my parents did make a statement tat 'IF' i were to marry him,i mite not be ably to join n get together wif my family again cos later on my in-laws will accuse me of consuming pork,drinking,doing something against d muslim law la.

my conclusion here is,do you think tat ill still be able to maintain my liking..tat is wearing sexy clothes,drinking,goofing ard,not serious twds god,dont want to fast, aft converting?i can change but itll take some time..long time probably.hmm..mayb i can ask u some questions on muslim.this thinking too far thingy is d tats stopping me fm accepting him.

CuriousMe

I converted when I marry my husband. My advice is that you talk your "fear" and anxiety with him. He will hv to be supportive and understand your views. My inlaws are very religious people, father in law teaches mengaji in surau and all sis in laws except 1, wears tudung.

After I got married, one of the bro-in-law's wife asked when I'm going to wear tudung. In my heart, I was thinking you born Muslim and it took you 40 yrs to decide and you expect me to wear after becoming a Muslim less than a year?!. Of course la I didn't say it aloud, I just smile and walk off.

I hv no problems meeting up with my sibblings, I even had reunion dinner in my house last year, pork-free la. My hubby is easy going and has no problem eating at my sister or brother;s place.

I don't pray 5 x a day but I have started on Iqra', to learn to read Quran, becos I want to. And becos I hv 2 sons n I want to be able to teach them, at least the basic about Islam.

[weannie 0]

It's quite good when both really love each others

And both parents don mind..

[TheDanceChickBerries 0]

well I have no problem with this. There are bad ones and good ones in every races / religion. As long as the person you are marrying is a good one.

[dr3amygirl 0]

OO interesting topic. My bf is Australian and I am Chinese Malaysian. For us it is not about race, I see him as the perfect guy and he see me as the perfect girl. But when first started going out many friends warn me that he only wanna go out with me to 'try' Asian girl. I remember b4 I came here to study some aunties even told me that can date angmo for fun but must marry Chinese boy. wah aunties say the most embarassing things man. Then he told me that a few of his playa friends said that he he is lucky to 'f*ck' a hot Asian babe. Ugh I hate stereotyping people. But after 1 and 1/2 years it is love and it is his personality I fall in love.

Actually the bf and me have similar religion (Catholic), upbringing, background, morals and family values. The thing that is most different with us is personality he is calm and rational, I am hot tempered and emotional.

Abit off topic but my parents are different religion and no problem also. Ma is Catholic and pa is Taoist. My parents came to an agreement that I will make my decision when I am 18yo. I still go to the temple with my pa on CNY and that 9day festival and church with ma. Then my granma is Malaysian Chinese and granpa is Baba. Some of my friends call me Chinese rojak haha.

I guess end of the day... race and religion doesn't matter to the couple in the relationship after they have worked out their life and goals.

[Arsheeda 0]

Well..i'm having the same problem here..and tell you what...it is really PAIN when u think that u can't marry each other. No jokes...I'm muslim & he's not...he can't convert & no way i will renounce...we even broke off for 2 days and my life was miserable. At last, we continue the relationship because we love each other so much. Final conclusion, we will migrate and settledown somewhere which religion is not a big issue. I know it's soind stupid but love has made us blind. It just that im so much in love & for the time being...i just follow my heart

[murdoc82 0]

CuriousMe

I converted when I marry my husband. My advice is that you talk your "fear" and anxiety with him. He will hv to be supportive and understand your views. My inlaws are very religious people, father in law teaches mengaji in surau and all sis in laws except 1, wears tudung.

After I got married, one of the bro-in-law's wife asked when I'm going to wear tudung. In my heart, I was thinking you born Muslim and it took you 40 yrs to decide and you expect me to wear after becoming a Muslim less than a year?!. Of course la I didn't say it aloud, I just smile and walk off.

I hv no problems meeting up with my sibblings, I even had reunion dinner in my house last year, pork-free la. My hubby is easy going and has no problem eating at my sister or brother;s place.

I don't pray 5 x a day but I have started on Iqra', to learn to read Quran, becos I want to. And becos I hv 2 sons n I want to be able to teach them, at least the basic about Islam.

as a Muslim i do know that inter-religion can cause its own problems. i would very much like to hear other religion says about inter-religion marriage, so guys/gurls please share your knowledge. it would be beneficial if we can share this kind of information and knowledge as to avoid any misunderstandings. as for me i will share what i know about this topic with regards to Islam.

for those who don't know, it is permitted for a Muslim guy to marry a gurl from among the People of the Book (Christian and Jewish) provided that the gurl has a good character and she agreed that her children born during marriage would be raised as a Muslim. however it is totally prohibited for a Muslim man to marry women from any other religion. so in this case the gurl have to convert to Islam before she can marry the guy. the term convert here means the gurl are accepting Islam through genuine conversion and willingness, not just for the purpose of marrying a Muslim guy.

another thing, while Muslim guy is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish gurl, a Muslim gurl is not allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish guy or guys from any other religion unless the guy converted into Islam. the reason for this difference is due to the fact that in Islamic teachings husband is the head of the family. it is the husband who have the power to safeguard the faith of his future sons and daugthers. a Muslim gurl will have no power to protect the faith of her children born in the marriage, so Islam prevented this from happening.

also, the Muslims believe that both Judaism and Christianity originated in divine revelation, although later changes are introduced into them by people who wish to exploits the religion into their own benefits. as such, the Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim are protected by husband who respects and recognize her faith and her prophets. on the contrary Jew or Christian does not accepts Islam or its prophet, thus it will be difficult or impossible for a Muslim wife of the Christian and Jew to protect her faith.

as for spidergirl, congrats to her for making such a big decission and determined to stick to it. sometimes it is a common mistake for muslims to expect so much in a short amount of time from newly convert. so you are not the only experiencing this. make your own effort in learning about Islam and don't worry about what other people say about your progress. i'm sure your husband is very supportive with this.

[murdoc82 0]

hi Quen^nie

thanks for d comfort.u know,i actually dont mind converting n changing my name (dont call me crazy),but the thing is..lets say 'IF' we go another step further aka married,im not sure whether i can actually cope wif muslim teaching or not,cos u c i dont like to wrap myself up in clothes,having to do 5 times prayer a day,fasting,etc.my parents did make a statement tat 'IF' i were to marry him,i mite not be ably to join n get together wif my family again cos later on my in-laws will accuse me of consuming pork,drinking,doing something against d muslim law la.

my conclusion here is,do you think tat ill still be able to maintain my liking..tat is wearing sexy clothes,drinking,goofing ard,not serious twds god,dont want to fast, aft converting?i can change but itll take some time..long time probably.hmm..mayb i can ask u some questions on muslim.this thinking too far thingy is d tats stopping me fm accepting him.

hi CuriousMe

to answer your questions, you have to understand that the true meaning of converting here is not just for the purpose of marriage...you have to accepts Islam through genuine conversion and willingness. meaning that after you convert into Islam you are willing to learn and practice Islamic teachings. and don't worry, you are not required to change yourself in one night, of course you will need time to accepts changes.