no interest

[tash 0]

hi,

i used to be really kind of taking care of myself...i like to always look da best and smart...and now guess wat....i dnt feel like doing nothing at all.....ma hair has got no more life..ma face looks dull and dark i dnt knw why i dnt feel doing nothing at all...i dnt waana take care of myself......

odes anyone out there feel the same or does any one has got any serious advice foe plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help

[Cas 0]

It's probably a phase or perhaps you're comfie with yourself now that you don't need to make up or dress up. I'm sort of like this too sometimes, I dont' know if being married plays a part?

[KeiRa 0]

wow,

it sounds like serious...

but the most important thing is your health, make sure u take care of your health properly.

[khim 0]

haha...i'm like that too sometimes

probably been too busy n bf is not around!

no motivation to do anything that i used to do last time

but i think girls must love themselves

sometimes dressing up n making yourself looking good is important

u feel happy when u c yourself looking good, don't you?

search more photo which you think they look pretty nice

n tell yourself 'I wana be like her too!'

haha....i know, a silly suggestion

but that's one of the ways to motivate myself to do exercise n diet sometimes

i tell myself 'I wana have that kind of waist too!'

hahaha......oh my gosh, sounds like so silly

[tash 0]

u dnt sound silly at all, this is wat always happen to me wen i watch da celebrities.....but i dnt know wat happen now....yea am married but it doesnt make any difference....as ma husband never notice me......its me who always and all da time kind of sayinh ahhhhhh u looking good..AND U KNOW WAT I JUST FUKING HATE THAT.... i dnt knw y he is like that

[Teff 0]

u dnt sound silly at all, this is wat always happen to me wen i watch da celebrities.....but i dnt know wat happen now....yea am married but it doesnt make any difference....as ma husband never notice me......its me who always and all da time kind of sayinh ahhhhhh u looking good..AND U KNOW WAT I JUST FUKING HATE THAT.... i dnt knw y he is like that

Wow Tash, I was taken aback by your recent post. I guess this relates more to your self-esteem, which I believe (do correct me if Im wrong) is deteriorating. And the fact that ur husband hardly notices u anymore is playing a major part in you not wanting to take yourself more seriously as you used to. I guess that's what happens when the closest one to you doesnt give you the attention that you deserve, as well as the fact that you are always the one giving out compliments to him. It subconsciously makes you feel "inadequate" to a certain point.

Babe, you really gotta work on regaining your confidence. No matter how lazy you are to do anything at all about yourself, be it your health, face, your body, your dress sense, etc, you have gotta overcome such "laziness" and start "beautifying" yourself. We gotta accept the fact that beauty plays a major role. It's what gets us noticed in the first place. All the hype bout "appreciating inner beauty" is true only when you've known someone, but to notice him/her in the first place, it's what the eyes captured that summed it all up, true?

Once you've started to accept and realize your own worth, only then your husband will start noticing you...hell, not only your husband, but the rest of world too..and most importantly, you'll feel extremely good about yourself every single day!

You've mentioned in your first post that your skin is dark and dull..so babe, you've gotta start now before you get older and regret when you look back on the years wasted knowing that you could've been at your very best...remember..BEAUTY IS 99% YOUTH

Cheers, and all the best. I certainly hope that you will get up on your feet in no time.

[Rida Baharudin 0]

yeah, i do feel the same way rite now,..

but reasons being is i have baby bumper @ pregnant..ngeheh

whenever i look into d mirror, I dun feel gr8 as I'm use 2

coz I can c a reflection of 'big' me instead of me

so kembang here & there,...including my nose

ths is my 2nd pregnancy & the pressure is different frm d 1st time

i'm still tryg (at least) puting some makeups & dress well whenever I'm out (sumtimes wit dragging feelings)

but I always has the feeling tht I look like a cow wearing 2 much makeup

even when to salon every mths doesn't helps,..

hubby has been very supportives but lately he nags alot abt me being feeling so low

feeling unattractives does make ur self esteem deteriorating

but i do feel like i'm the one who is oppressing myself

abt being dark skin, I'm also born & grew up with dark skin,..I dun even hv a happy memorilibia childhood

coz ppl poke fun on my skin colour(my parents are fair skin),..but as I grew up, I learn tht skin colour doesnt determined beauty

& i learned to appriciated & take care of myself... thts when I realize I 'glow' even I'm dark skin

as my low feeling during this period,..its normal (as per doctor said)

thts wht they called pre-baby blues ..

It will go away once baby born & If i get back to my pre baby figure (if..... )

[tash 0]

hi rida

well is that u in da pic......u dnt look that dark skin anyway how do u cope with the weight gain after u giving birth......sorrry dnt mindd......well am not that dark but ma skin look dull.......am fair colour skin but ma face look dull and i dnt feel at all to bleach or face mask ma skin....

[yamitenshi 0]

dear, u sound like having the symptoms of depression. well, if it was a year ago, i would have encourage u to visit a psychiatrist but not anymore.. i used to feel like you do, n even think of suicide so i think i understand how u feel. i dunno how i can help u but u must get out of these negativities. try to think more positively like when u start having negative thots bout urself, think of something positive to counter it!

[Whoosh2 CS 0]

Hi there

It could be that you have clinical depression. Clinical depression is not like the blues where it comes and goes. I get it during PMS, and am so glad when it's over. Anyway, the best thing is to get in touch with a psychiatrist to confirm coz they can confirm this symptom and it can be balanced by the right mix of medication.

Here's a link that describes it further : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/clinical-depression/AN01057

Hope you feel better soon.

[yamitenshi 0]

Hi there

It could be that you have clinical depression. Clinical depression is not like the blues where it comes and goes. I get it during PMS, and am so glad when it's over. Anyway, the best thing is to get in touch with a psychiatrist to confirm coz they can confirm this symptom and it can be balanced by the right mix of medication.

Here's a link that describes it further : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/clinical-depression/AN01057

Hope you feel better soon.

hi whoosh, ur meaning of medication is the anti-depressants rite?

[Sam 0]

Tash,

1. You're married. Everything settled. Don't have to impress anyone else except you yourself and your hubby.

2. Excuse me, your hubby is juz a plain dull man. Never put a sweet word to encourage you. Most importantly, that's very discouraging for you.

3. Directly or indirectly, you're starting to compare your hubby with someone else hubby. Everything seem juz so perfect to you from some else hubby. and YES, this is very discouraging too.

4. Deep in your heart and end of the day, YOU CARE if you're facing some sort of "self caring slacking" period of time. It's ok. At least, it's not too late for you to realize why this is happening. Better than someone else who are juz totally don't know what the heck is going wrong.

5. Excuse me one more time and I am sorry if I am too skeptical. You couple have some communication problems.

6. Love yourself more especially you're female b4 you hope your hubby draw his eyes on your hot body.

6 cents of Sam. Sorry N Thank You. Enjoy - Adios!

Although I never meet you, I pretty confident/sure you're another hot sexy woman.

So take care! Love yourself~!

Edited April 4, 2008 by Sam

[tash 0]

hi sam,

it feels so nice to read ur comments....well ma husband is nt dull...he is a happy, full of life and fun and loving type of guy.but,wen it comes on us.....he seem like a kid.....he will just hug me all da time thats it....

its a bit embarassed how to descride it sam,,,,,but i thnk u r understanding me dnt u. a few times ive seen such jealousy in his eyes...i myself was freaking out......overall he is nice but da thing is that he will never say oooo u luking nice today never...he never compliment me...i took ages to get dressed and am always da kind kind of woman who will always look nice...but i always do that to make me comfortable but i realised that he never even notice me.

and i thnk that da reason why i feel down all da time and i dnt take care of myself at all.

[Rida Baharudin 0]

hi rida

well is that u in da pic......u dnt look that dark skin anyway how do u cope with the weight gain after u giving birth......sorrry dnt mindd......well am not that dark but ma skin look dull.......am fair colour skin but ma face look dull and i dnt feel at all to bleach or face mask ma skin....

well I'm quite dark skin,..i'm using MAC NC42 4godsake .. well thts the power of digital camera + flash haha

dull skin can be bcoz the aging skin,..or ur heart is quenching for loving words frm hubby... I think u need to talk to ur hubby.

pour ur heart out girl....but dun expect u get a fast reply,...he'll sure take time to absorbs d info...

I'm not gonna say ur lucky,..but honestly,..though my hubby is a loving person

he's very introvert himselfs,...he don't mind hug me in the shoulder or holding hands

but saying nice things like "cantiknya u today"....is out of pic..

I heard those words only once,..& tht time we were still dating

& worst thing is,... I never get a single flower frm him b4,.. not even on my birthday..

so after 3 yrs of marriage I just put him in typical malaysian guy list... so gentlement & gay (not tht kinda gay...)... but chauvinist after married

or wht my mom call,..accepting the FACT wht kinda man ur married & dun expect him 2 chg

sorry not to gv u the wrong idea but wht i usually do,..to boost my confidents (while not pregnant lah)

whenever I'm out & about,..shopping or work, I always make sure I dress well, hair nicely done & fully makeup

& I look around (not doing it obviously) like, whn I step into into lrt,..I'll chk out if ppl look at me

I dun care if their bitching/puji me,.. at least I'm attracting sum1 attentions

but at home, my priority is my hubby attentions.. which now I hv to fight with my dotter, Astro & PS3..

Tash,

1. You're married. Everything settled. Don't have to impress anyone else except you yourself and your hubby.

2. Excuse me, your hubby is juz a plain dull man. Never put a sweet word to encourage you. Most importantly, that's very discouraging for you.

3. Directly or indirectly, you're starting to compare your hubby with someone else hubby. Everything seem juz so perfect to you from some else hubby. and YES, this is very discouraging too.

4. Deep in your heart and end of the day, YOU CARE if you're facing some sort of "self caring slacking" period of time. It's ok. At least, it's not too late for you to realize why this is happening. Better than someone else who are juz totally don't know what the heck is going wrong.

5. Excuse me one more time and I am sorry if I am too skeptical. You couple have some communication problems.

6. Love yourself more especially you're female b4 you hope your hubby draw his eyes on your hot body.

6 cents of Sam. Sorry N Thank You. Enjoy - Adios!

Although I never meet you, I pretty confident/sure you're another hot sexy woman.

So take care! Love yourself~!

Yeah Sam,..it is easy to said than to go thru it

luckly my hubby doesn't have straying eyes,..or probably his eyes were 'pakar' already to chk out women w/o making it too obvious

if women dun compared they hubby wit other woman's hubby,..then Despreate hswives rating should drop every week

I understd ur skeptical,..as if women r so hard to be pls,.. mind u like we women can read man's mind?,..huh!

communication is no 1 rule in any relationship. Unfortunately,..in marriage it became no 3,..bcoz u'll be bz talking to ur bos, ur frens & children.. u'll only remember to talk to ur wife when there's no crispy iron shirt to wear to work, there's no hot coffee & breakfast on the table or,..no sex for a week

& yeah,..obviously,..even we had a hot bod to offer to hubby,..he'll still lurking around & pewttt-ing to much more younger girl

I'm sorry if I'm sounds sarcastic,..but i guess 3 yrs of marriages turn me into 1

but I do agree wit u in 1 thing,...thou should love thou selfs... coz nobody can luv u like u do

[Whoosh2 CS 0]

hi whoosh, ur meaning of medication is the anti-depressants rite?

Hi there,

Yup, I mean anti-depressants. Since everyone is different, some medications don't work on others so doctors try different ones till they get the right mix.

But, looking more at the post, it also looks like there's unhappiness in the marriage. You know what, I think that's totally normal. Men get comfortable with their wives, and more often than not, they think that the wives already know that the husband think they're beautiful so why tell them.

The key is communication and to inform the husband that we need to hear those words coz it makes us happy. They actually want to make us happy but sometimes have no idea how to do it. I know it's a pain to remind them but marriage is work. I bet Cinderalla worked her ass off to earn that "happily ever after" ending.

Hope that helps.

[yamitenshi 0]

Hi there,

Yup, I mean anti-depressants. Since everyone is different, some medications don't work on others so doctors try different ones till they get the right mix.

But, looking more at the post, it also looks like there's unhappiness in the marriage. You know what, I think that's totally normal. Men get comfortable with their wives, and more often than not, they think that the wives already know that the husband think they're beautiful so why tell them.

The key is communication and to inform the husband that we need to hear those words coz it makes us happy. They actually want to make us happy but sometimes have no idea how to do it. I know it's a pain to remind them but marriage is work. I bet Cinderalla worked her ass off to earn that "happily ever after" ending.

Hope that helps.

Well,( abit) regarding the a/d (anti-depressants), is the reason y i said will not advise tash to visit the psychiatrist. Its been more than a year i m on a/d n now i can say tht i ve recovered but i still have to take the meds. I tried stopping, cold turkey, and tapering but the withdrawal symptom is so bad, making me so ill. Some ppl who has the same experience as me even say tht they rather be depressed than to undergo the withdrawal symptoms!! The worse is, the docs never inform u bout it n till now they still dont acknowledge the withdrawal problem.

So tash, like other fellow forumers say, u shud try talking to ur hubby. My bf n i have been together for more than 8 yrs n not to say tht we have problems, but i do have to remind him at times tht i want him to say i love u just for the sake of hearing it, other than by how he shows it in other ways. Cos human tends to 'get comfy' with a familiar environment n stop doing things they used to do earlier.

[Rida Baharudin 0]

Well,( abit) regarding the a/d (anti-depressants), is the reason y i said will not advise tash to visit the psychiatrist. Its been more than a year i m on a/d n now i can say tht i ve recovered but i still have to take the meds. I tried stopping, cold turkey, and tapering but the withdrawal symptom is so bad, making me so ill. Some ppl who has the same experience as me even say tht they rather be depressed than to undergo the withdrawal symptoms!! The worse is, the docs never inform u bout it n till now they still dont acknowledge the withdrawal problem.

So tash, like other fellow forumers say, u shud try talking to ur hubby. My bf n i have been together for more than 8 yrs n not to say tht we have problems, but i do have to remind him at times tht i want him to say i love u just for the sake of hearing it, other than by how he shows it in other ways. Cos human tends to 'get comfy' with a familiar environment n stop doing things they used to do earlier.

yeah it is OT,..hahah

but wanna knw lah yamitenshi,..which hospital do u go yeah?

I bet is a private clinic rite?...

I was almost refererred once when I was 21.. (go to work also very pressure..worsen after I resign frm SIA)

but gov lei.. all doctors tread me like I'm gila instead of depressed lei

so I had to look for alternative.. I went for so call spiritual enggagement,..which later felt like BS hahah

u knw wht finally really help me?...Yoga & exercise... now I could say I'm 90% cured..

still looking for new solutions,... do u thk acupuntures helps?.. coz there's ths aunty recommeded me to try..

coz her dotter also had the same prob..

[yamitenshi 0]

yeah it is OT,..hahah

but wanna knw lah yamitenshi,..which hospital do u go yeah?

I bet is a private clinic rite?...

I was almost refererred once when I was 21.. (go to work also very pressure..worsen after I resign frm SIA)

but gov lei.. all doctors tread me like I'm gila instead of depressed lei

so I had to look for alternative.. I went for so call spiritual enggagement,..which later felt like BS hahah

u knw wht finally really help me?...Yoga & exercise... now I could say I'm 90% cured..

still looking for new solutions,... do u thk acupuntures helps?.. coz there's ths aunty recommeded me to try..

coz her dotter also had the same prob..

i went to ppum i wont say tht docs there r not good, cos they r very good n caring, just tht normally docs disregard withdrawal symptoms, for some meds, as their priority is for u to recover then only worry bout the withdrawal (if there's any as it dont happen to everybody)..

yes, if i can choose again i rather get well from yoga, etc.. but then again, when someone is depressed, they lose interest in many things so its not easy to get a depressed person to start doing things like tht.. esp. when u become depressed caused by 'genes' which is my case.

acupuntures might but its more like a complement to part of ur program to recover from depression, as i think acupuntures is more about blood circulation & unblocking nerves n such while depression is when ur brain lacks of certain chemical/hormones.. perhaps u can try meditation? or read books tht promotes positive thinking.