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^Angie^

My fren's dillemma

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Marry him, then ask him to sign his legacy ASAP, stating that after his death all his property will goto her. Then wait for him to die and then enjoy. devil2.gifdevil2.gifdevil2.gif

whoa....tht's kinda materialistic...

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think about baby somemore......something tells me ur frend isnt thinking right .... neva think of how to survive can think of bringing in another live into this world...

:S

haha well, if you can't keep your man, at least keep a memory of him. the baby is that memory... an outlet where you'll pour your love in when the father has passed. survival is secondary - there will always be a way, but there is no way out of a thing that never happened in the first place.

its always better to have loved and lost then never to have loved before.

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if i will her then i'll stay wif my bf till the end of the day.. but to have a baby or not really depends on stituation, if i am still studying then i probably dun want to ve a baby but if i already start working then yes...

but if think deeply, i might nvr fall in love wif another guy again. the person that die will stay in our memory forever and we will only remember the sweet memories.. we'll tend to compare every guy we meet and then turns out they always not as good as the one already pass away..so it will be hard to accept another guy..

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Baby. Wanna take the baby as momento? Come on. Be realistic. If u bring a baby. Can she take care of the baby? Can she be responsible of it? Furthermore . A baby withouht a father. Will that make the kid grow up right?

Live for today. Worry about tommorow and plan for tommorow some other time.

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mm.. a baby without a father doesn't mean that he/she will not grow up rite, it's depends on how the mother bring up the child.. few of my friends live happily wif their mother although their father passed away when they were young..

of course ve to think realistic la, if u think u can not raise up the baby alone then better dun ve the baby..

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she still young ma sure got lotsa chance fall in love again. of cos have to treasure the time now - married or not is not an issue. but a baby will create a lot of problems later on.

how can she move on if she has a baby? Dun bring a child to this world for 'momento' le. sounds romantic but not a wise thing to do. later if she remarried the new husband abuse how? example la. financial lagi..

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This reminds me of a movie actuall. A Walk To Remember, any1 seen it? Almost the same case.

If I were to be the guy, i would never ask my gf to marry me. I will tell her the truth, and it will be up to her to either support me till the end, or leave me. And if she does leave me, it will hurt no doubt, but i wont blame her.

If i am in the girl's shoes, I am very certain that I will never leave his side until the end. And yea even after he passed on, I may move on in time and I may love another man in the future, but he will always be a part of me till the end, everything about him and all the memories we built together.

*yes very dramatic I know, hehe*

So, is marriage really that important in this case? What does marriage really mean? Marriage is just a contractual relationship, it just means that you are a couple (husband and wife) binded by law. And well, it also means you can have sex and have babies without worries about the society shunting you aside lah.

But, if it is the dying wish of the bf (like maybe he wanna experience the marital bliss or something)...well, why not? Marriage or no marriage, when the guy dies, the girl will be devasted no more no less. Even after you become a widow, doesnt mean you have to stay a widow for the rest of ur life. you can still remarry (if you want to).

baby? gotta agree with some of them. It is a question of whether she can raise the baby without him. Have to consider the financial obligations, and if she is still studying. Yea, as a momento, sure very romantic. But can she ensure the baby a good life?

BTW, in the movie (A walk to remember), the guy married her tho she only had a short while left. wink.gif

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Ideally , I would want things like Serra shared. That's how it should be. If love is true. A Walk to remember? I'll definately check out the movie.

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a baby without a dad ? only a mum ? ahahahahha ...guys u would have to agree with me that ..... in a family ...a child needs 2 different kind of people..1 needs to be rational ..and 1 which is bonkers ( or rahter ..one which is strict)....

imagine a child with 1 side ..it won't be a perfect life would it ? or rahter ..the single parent would have to be 2 person i guesss..which is near impossible ........kekekekekeke...

hope some of u get my meaning tongue.gif

chill girls..i'm just joking here.... seems so tensed up ...

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Marriage or no marriage, when the guy dies, the girl will be devasted no more no less. Even after you become a widow, doesnt mean you have to stay a widow for the rest of ur life. you can still remarry (if you want to).

well, i've never tot of tat b4. that's one way to look at it. just kinda weird cos u will hav in-laws to worry about. if she remarry should she invite the in-laws? tat kinda thing. otherwise, it's ok like serra said.

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I think in laws shud be the least of her worries if she shud ever remarry (that is if the rship with the in laws are even maintained). not to say that out of disrespect for the in laws, but rationally, there shudn't be a problem if the in laws are understading. So, i wouldnt reli worry so much on issues such as whether to invite them or not.

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Mm.. talking bout in-laws, my fren didn't tell her parents bout her bf's tumour and plans to hide this from them. Coz she knows that her parents will be worrying her... That's y i'm the only one who know bout her prob.

Anyway, thanks 2 all of u.. smile.gif

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my turn....

marriage is just a formality, it doesnt mean without the marriage, the couple cant stay together (as in stick to each other)...

if i were the girl, i wont leave him....if i were the man, i wont leave her too....as the middle mind here for both, i woould hope both of us can stay together and just spend the time happily with no regrets.....i guess it's a waste of time thinking about future when you do not know what will happen to you the next day....he might be hospitalised the next moment.....why spend so much time thinking, arguing, confllicting in oneself when you can actually use that time and be with him happily...

perhaps i didnt read thoroughly of the whoe message, but may i know how long can he live? a tumor?? which stage?? if earlier stage, then high hope of getting recovery, if last stage...why wait and stop at the moment? should do anything both wanted to like traveling or just making something memorable for both.....who knows the girl will die first due to accident the next day??

Many would say, yeah you could sound so direct coz you are not the person involved, but again if i were the man, i woould not want my bf to leave me.....why mention selfishness here? if both are healthy, would you include the selfishness here?

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to continue....

my cousin met a girl of his dream, but she has weak heart and a hole in her heart....he didnt leave her and they got married after years of courtship....doctor advised her not to have any baby coz her body and heart will not be able to handle it...however, God's will...she got pregnant.....morning sickness came, and so on.....everyone advised her to go for abortion, she didnt want to....even when my cousin advised her, she didnt listen.....

second month of her pregnancy, she was landed in the hospital and she needed all the tubes and machines to support her....she came in and out of hospital frequently and finally at one stage, guess fourth to fifth month, she collapsed......she was once again in the hospital...but this time, she was unconscious and the machines actually kept her alive for days....not sure how things developed then, the doctor said either way will cause one death....if she delivers the baby, she might not be able to make it, if she persists, both of them will not make it through too.....

not sure what happened at the end, the baby passed away and minutes or hours later, his wife passed away too.....

with this, was she selfish? or was she trying hard to do something for both of them? but i know my cousin didnt regret marrying her....

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my turn....

marriage is just a formality, it doesnt mean without the marriage, the couple cant stay together (as in stick to each other)...

if i were the girl, i wont leave him....if i were the man, i wont leave her too....as the middle mind here for both, i woould hope both of us can stay together and just spend the time happily with no regrets.....i guess it's a waste of time thinking about future when you do not know what will happen to you the next day....he might be hospitalised the next moment.....why spend so much time thinking, arguing, confllicting in oneself when you can actually use that time and be with him happily...

perhaps i didnt read thoroughly of the whoe message, but may i know how long can he live? a tumor?? which stage?? if earlier stage, then high hope of getting recovery, if last stage...why wait and stop at the moment? should do anything both wanted to like traveling or just making something memorable for both.....who knows the girl will die first due to accident the next day??

Many would say, yeah you could sound so direct coz you are not the person involved, but again if i were the man, i woould not want my bf to leave me.....why mention selfishness here? if both are healthy, would you include the selfishness here?

Ya, a person dies doesn't always due to cancer or disease. We never know what would happen to us the next day.

I've told this (like wat u've said) to my fren. I dunno y la.. she kept on thinking about this matter until i hv no idea on how to advise her. wink.gif

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hi angie, i also had a friend who have cancers,He really loves his gf but the way he shows his gf loves was totally wrong.But i understand guy loves to hide himself up when they are down,especially they dun wish to let their gf knows they are in deep trouble.

Sometime my friend did told me he is so regret for not sharing his pain towards his gf and now he end up losing his gf because he have totally lost of confidence.

Thr confidence i mean was,when he face the girl's parents but before that he did try to fight for the cancers and go for treatment but today he just log himself up because he feel that he lost everything because his lovely gf had left him

anyway this is a good topic. suit my friend

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