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^Angie^

My fren's dillemma

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Her case goes like this:

My fren has been in a 3-year relationship with his bf.

They luv each other very much and stayed together before

for the last 2 years.

Everything goes well, they planned to get married soon.

Unfortunately, one day, her bf told her that he has brain tumour,

which cause him headache everyday.

The doctor said he can only take medicine to reduce the pain b'coz

going for an operation will not help...

She asked me realistically,"if you were in my shoes, will u still marry him?"

Gals, IF u know that ur bf (whom u luv) will die in his early age due to cancer, what would u do???

Anyway, thanks for reading it and also your kind reply~ smile.gif

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well,it's hard 2 say in tis kinda situation..if they get married,they will b man n wife in d eyes of law but not long after tht,tht wife will b a widow...quite a heatbreak 4 tht wife...

if dun get married,then d gurl wont b a widow at a young age.....they can still life like hubby n wife...but it wont b an official man n wife in d eyes of law..but spiritually,it's a YES!

should really depends on tht gurl...if her family supports her decision,then it's really up 2 her 2 choose..but guess many gurls r more willing 2 get married though coz they think d marriage status is important.plus all d wedding ceremony thingy...d joy of wearing wedding gown wif their beloved hubby...taking d vows,etc...

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Kylie always share good suggestions smile.gif

It depends how much she loves him....

Once in Chatterbox, I answer a question in Q&A

When do you propose? My reply...

1. When you find love!

2. When your love, loves you!

3. You can provide your love with all the happiness...

If she really loves him and his last wish is to be with her... then she could fulfill his wish by marriage. I think its romantic for her to fulfill his dream. And live happily ever after, in his remaining days.

On the other hand, I would not want my love one to suffer because of me. Maybe like Kylie said, just be with him... could be just enough. So your friend also have to consider her own future. Especially if he cannot provide for her.

Is your head still confuse? Remember love is an emotion, not an intelligent thought. So stop thinking and listen to your heart.

As for the dear chap... all I can offer him is chocolates tongue.gif

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i think if u love someone...... u will never look at any flaws of your love ones........ your friend ask u this question whether she needs to continue as plan to marry this guy.....i think your friend thinks about herself more.......... if u love someone, u will accept his everything........... and if he has disease or sickness or tumor.... u still will accept him the way he is............ i think if i am in this situation.... i will wanna spent my life with him no matter how short the time is......... coz i love him....

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this is somewhat unrelated but i gotta say this too

better ask her bf to go ask for second opinion loo

Dr. Gurcharan of DSH or Dr. Martin of SJMC seems to be good oncologist .. sorry sorry, hope i'm not going off topic here smile.gif

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I think I'll stick to the very end... although it's really really painful... but I think if in such condition, I don't stick till the end, I'll regret for the rest of my life.

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'...till dead do us part thingy' in the vow will be in vain if she choose not to be with him.

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they plan to get married but not married yet ...

if i'm the dying Bf ....i would leave the girl and let her feel hurt ...it's better then letting her suffer for the rest of her life ...

but if i'm the girl ..u need to think about urself as well.. stick with him support him .. marrying him in paper won't prove anything ... just as long as ur there when he needs u is good enough ...and i'm sure if the bf trully loves her he would understand her needs and let her go ....

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i am totally agree Sean. if i am that guy, i will not marry her coz that guy should think about the gal future. and for this moment , that gal should spent more time with her bf coz he need a support from his lover.

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If I'm the guy.. I'll pretend to be very very bad tempered and unreasonable due to the sickness. Even if she endure it, when the day I leave, she'll felt that it's a relieve more than sadness.

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Gals, IF u know that ur bf (whom u luv) will die in his early age due to cancer, what would u do???

Accept the facts and enjoy the remaining time we hav together...treasure every moments we have together...

To get married or not is not a big deal...as you said 'a paper means nthg'...some ppl may think the 'paper' is nthg...but some really treat the 'paper' as the way to show their love towards their partner-IMPORTANT!!! Married or not he/she may still pass away, you will still be by his/her side when he/she pass away (given that u nvr leave him/her) seeing him/her pass away...crying days n nights, you may leave the past behind and move on enjoying your life...I dont think getting married or not is the real prob...the decision if you would stay or leave/giv up on him/her is the critical problem...

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i am totally agree Sean. if i am that guy, i will not marry her coz that guy should think about the gal future. and for this moment , that gal should spent more time with her bf coz he need a support from his lover.

a few years back i received a story circulating on the net similar to what you are saying... in short this is how the story goes:

this guy n gal were deeply in love n is planning to get married soon. All of a sudden, one day he suddenly disappear from her life. When she asked his parents, they said he has moved to europe to do something important. from that day on she hated him with every fibre of her being.

time went by and she forgot about him and soon she was married to a doctor and have a little girl. one day her husband was talking to her about a patient who had died after fighting cancer for several years. what a shock it was for her when she found out her husband was talking about her x-bf. she cried out as if someone had cut her heart out. all this years after he left, she hated him for leaving without giving her a reason n now she has found out the truth. and it hurts her more than b4.

its a sad story, one which i hope nobody would ever have to go thru.

so ask yourself, do u want to hurt her when u r already gone or do u rather hurt her while u r still around n able to comfort her with ur love. the decision is in your hands.

my advice - lies always hurts more than the truth

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yeah agree wif zam bout lies hurts more than truth.though truth hurts but at least u'll not b kept in d dark..luv is bout sharing.he needs her d most now..

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I would be with my gf till she is better or she is gone. MArried sure. No problem. But if she happens to pass away. I would have to move on. I have actually been through this kind of thing. But the only difference is. Her mom force us apart . And yes she is still alive.

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Marry him, then ask him to sign his legacy ASAP, stating that after his death all his property will goto her. Then wait for him to die and then enjoy. devil2.gifdevil2.gifdevil2.gif

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Marry him, then ask him to sign his legacy ASAP, stating that after his death all his property will goto her. Then wait for him to die and then enjoy. devil2.gifdevil2.gifdevil2.gif

LT laughing.gif

btw LT.. that dancing man in ur avatar is so annoying... feel like shooting him devil2.gif .. kidding tongue.gif

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Really thanks for your advice.... smile.gif

Actually, her bf tried to leave her b4... by argueing wif her on small things (bad tempered) / scolding her...etc.

However, at the end, her bf couldn't stand it.. seeing her sad/ crying face..So, he decided to tell her the truth. My fren definitely won't leave him (as wat she had told me).. coz she luvs him so much. U know, under this kind of situation, it will make them luv each other more and more.. as they experienced the difficulties/ obstacles together in their life.

Ya, i agree that married or not married is not so important for them now. But, when both of them have luv, certainly, they will think of owning sth ...- a BABY.

hhmm.... unsure.gif

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it's all back to the gurl ... if she thinks she loves him with her heart and soul, marrying him would make the dying BF wish comes true ... if she were to get a baby out from the marriage they had, the child would be the commemoration & devotion of their love something for her to remember her true love ... till death do us part ... :Þ

what LT said ish true also, a pre-nup ish good because you need to be financially secured after his death, right? but in-laws always a problem, coz all they think that you're trying to swindle away his assets ... :Þ

just think carefully before deciding on anything ...

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think about baby somemore......something tells me ur frend isnt thinking right .... neva think of how to survive can think of bringing in another live into this world...

:S

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