How to make him quit smoking???

[Ying87 0]

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, and i have been trying to make him quit smoking ever since we got together! I lost my beloved father to cancer, so the last thing i want is losing the other most important man in my life to some sort of illness again!

All i have been hearing for the past 7 years are empty promises that he will quit. At first, he was courteous enough lie to me that he quit. Then, when i found out (again and again), he decided to not smoke before he sees me (so no smell mah)...But lately he doesn't care anymore. He will smoke and i will nag when i smell it. He will go [i]"nono i didn't smoke"[/i] or[i] "okok i promise i will quit by the end of the year"[/i]. End of story.

I have threatened him [b]wayyyy too many times[/b] to leave him if he continues with the addiction. Each and every time he begs for my patience and promises to quit. I have tried everything - nicotine gums and patches..and even went through a phase when i forced him to give me RM10 each time i smell cigarette on his breath. I am now in the phase where i hunt for his cigarettes and rip all of them apart infront of his face. Obviously, i am at the last straw. Honestly, if he had the intention to quit, he would have done it sooner instead of giving excuses and saying [i]"ok i will quit next week"[/i]..

It's almost the end of the year... I cannot take it anymore. We've been together 7 years. [b]Doesn't he love me enough to just bloody quit?[img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif[/img][/b]

[dwaeji 0]

Hey there, hmm okay you both have been together for 7 years, you understand him, and he understand you. (wtf am i talking about)

I have never tried asking a friend or boyfriend of 7 years of mine to quit smoking, what I'm trying to say is, I don't have this long friend that smokes. BUT, I do have college friends whom I have just met that are heavy smokers. I took away their cigarettes, hide it, and yeah, they dont smoke infront of me for some day. But they do still smoke when they are not with us this bunch of friends who dont like it. Then all of us got so lazy to stop them, and let them be already.

At one point where there are two of them who fall sick, as in flu, fever, and it was quite serious and took them a long time to recover. They even went for injection stuffs like that. THEN, they eventually STOP smoking by themselves. Then we were like 'eh? not smoking dy?' Then they will be like 'no la, dont want' things like that.

FYI, they have been smoking for many years like since high school. (Ive asked them before)

What I'm trying to say, sometimes its just pointless to force them to quit smoking. They do know how bad smoking is, they knew that it will cause cancer, not that they do not know. But it's always themselves to decide whether want to stop smoking or not. I know sometimes its hard cause he's your love ones, but instead of forcing him, maybe you just tell him like, 'I know you dont like it when i force you to stop smoking, but I am just worried about you, cause i dont wanna lose you anymore (things you are worried of)'

or make a deal, like 'hey, lets try not to smoke when you are with me?' at least, he smokes lesser right?

I don't know if I'm making a point here, cause he's your boyfriend, just an experience on asking people to stop smoking.

I have turned from 'wooiiii don't smoke' to 'I thought you are going to smoke? why are u still here'

T_T sad, but i got no choice pft


cheers kay good luck you two
[quote name='Ying87' timestamp='1324386028' post='604034']
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, and i have been trying to make him quit smoking ever since we got together! I lost my beloved father to cancer, so the last thing i want is losing the other most important man in my life to some sort of illness again!

All i have been hearing for the past 7 years are empty promises that he will quit. At first, he was courteous enough lie to me that he quit. Then, when i found out (again and again), he decided to not smoke before he sees me (so no smell mah)...But lately he doesn't care anymore. He will smoke and i will nag when i smell it. He will go [i]"nono i didn't smoke"[/i] or[i] "okok i promise i will quit by the end of the year"[/i]. End of story.

I have threatened him [b]wayyyy too many times[/b] to leave him if he continues with the addiction. Each and every time he begs for my patience and promises to quit. I have tried everything - nicotine gums and patches..and even went through a phase when i forced him to give me RM10 each time i smell cigarette on his breath. I am now in the phase where i hunt for his cigarettes and rip all of them apart infront of his face. Obviously, i am at the last straw. Honestly, if he had the intention to quit, he would have done it sooner instead of giving excuses and saying [i]"ok i will quit next week"[/i]..

It's almost the end of the year... I cannot take it anymore. We've been together 7 years. [b]Doesn't he love me enough to just bloody quit?[img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif[/img][/b]
[/quote]

[fred 0]

Although I never try, I can imagine how hard to ask someone quit smoking.

May be you can sit down with him and discuss about that seriously? Before that, are you sure what you want? If he really refuse to quit are you prepare to leave him? Or you are OK if he promise to quit or smoke lesser, although you know that most likely he will continue to smoke(may be lesser).

[WayneC 0]

Girl, if I were you, I'd leave him permanently if not temporarily (until he really quits) I think I can say this on behalf of most of the nice guys, a true lover would totally give up smoking if that's what his/her lover demands.

Cheers.

[mebbe 0]

you can't make someone quit smoking. they have to want to quit themselves. Sorry.

[Niko 0]

I will accept it if i am really love him; but if you think you cant accept, then you better leave him, don't waste your time anymore.

[greekgod 0]

You have to learn that what you resist, it will persist.
So no, unless he himself realize his error, don't even dream of your message getting through him.

Peace be with you

[shero 0]

Threaten is not the way, come on.. if you both are truth to each other then must talk to compromise each other,
if things doesnt work out, I cant see any happiness in the future for both of you.

[barnabas 0]

dwaeji is right. Try to explain to him how worried you are. Chances are better for him quitting because he don't want you to be worried rather than because you asked(scolded/threaten) him to. Provided that he really love you.

[Rachel Lee 0]

Use your love to slowly change him