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aleena

love vs money

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hi girls, Im not talking about money to be viewed in material way. I need your advice as I've been facing with this issue for a long time. Im 27 and I've been with A for 10 years. He is my first love >_<. we started our relationship since I was a student and up to date, I've been working for 1 year. I cant say that we are having a fairytale relationship but we are getting along all these while even though sometimes we do quarel ( i guess it is normal rite). The one and only problem Im facing with him is that he is an extremely unorganized guy when dealing with his financial planning. every month, i have to fork out some money to lend him ( btw, he does repay me but eventually i have to lend him money again the month after that and this goes on and on) . Sadly to say, to date, he has no saving in his bank account, whats more when it comes to the saving for our marriage purpose :( Im so depress each time i know that he has no enough money to use. I dont wish that he can afford to feed me as i do work but i would be extremely glad if his money is enough for his own use without having the negative (-) account balance:wub:

i really need to hear from you girls out there. pls enlighten me.

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Well.. u got to seriously talk to him. If he's about 27.. it's time that he should think of these stuffs. Starting a family is no joke. DOes he have alot of credit card debts? Look for balance transfer.. I think the best deal is Public bank, offering one time off 5% interest. Go for that.. and stop using credit cards. Settle the debt in 2 years time. Then start saving.

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[quote name='aleena' date='02 June 2010 - 12:17 AM' timestamp='1275409027' post='584254']
hi girls, Im not talking about money to be viewed in material way. I need your advice as I've been facing with this issue for a long time. Im 27 and I've been with A for 10 years. He is my first love >_<. we started our relationship since I was a student and up to date, I've been working for 1 year. I cant say that we are having a fairytale relationship but we are getting along all these while even though sometimes we do quarel ( i guess it is normal rite). The one and only problem Im facing with him is that he is an extremely unorganized guy when dealing with his financial planning. every month, i have to fork out some money to lend him ( btw, he does repay me but eventually i have to lend him money again the month after that and this goes on and on) . Sadly to say, to date, he has no saving in his bank account, whats more when it comes to the saving for our marriage purpose :( Im so depress each time i know that he has no enough money to use. I dont wish that he can afford to feed me as i do work but i would be extremely glad if his money is enough for his own use without having the negative (-) account balance:wub:

i really need to hear from you girls out there. pls enlighten me.
[/quote]

You should be honest and tell him about your concern. You said that he's not organized when it comes to his financial planning, (and you've been together with him for 10 years - and seems like he never changed) maybe he just doesn't know how to save money. As a girlfriend, you can help him with that. Make him open up an account - ASB or something (to get more interest :) ) then make him save certain amounts every month. Let say his salary is 3000, as a start, ask him to put aside 500 for saving, so he'll have 2500. Deduct the essential bills, and he can only spend whatever that's left. You have to plan for him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Afterall it's for his own good. :) Even better, you can do it together with him. Every month, go to the bank together with him and save the same amount of money together in separate accounts.

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All the best advices have been given. The only challenge is to make him do exactly as planned. Guys are just like girls, unpredictable. You might have plan everything and get him to agree to do it, but in the end, he might come up with some excuses to avoid saving up / settling debt.

For example, I have known a guy who would buy something he wants so badly without thinking whether he has enough money left for food and other expenses. In the end, he has no money and has to borrow from everyone he knows.

You need to be careful with this type of guy. You should stop borrowing money to him as Lesson #1. Otherwise, he would depend on you forever.

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