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Camerons

Failed in Relationships

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My friends & family have alwasy thought of me as someone who is sensible, strong & able to get through anything. That sometimes make it harder for me to pour out to them when i'm upset and need someone to talk to. Besides, I'm not the kind of person that opens up easily to people bout emotions & thoughts. This site though, seems like a good place to start. Guess i just need an outlet to let off the emotions and maybe even gain some insights or words of wisdoms.

I have been in couple of relationships but none of them ever leads to any happy ending as most of them ended due to infidelity from my partner.

A year ago, my 8 years relationship ended as i suspected my ex cheated on me with his ex, though he denied it. I have a strong reason to suspect that as it was not the 1st time he did it. In fact, couple of months before, we have broken up once as he was cheating with another girl but i forgave & accepted him back when he begged for forgiveness. Guess old habit die hard as it doesn't take long for him to repeat the same mistake.

So, this time around, we broke for good and i just wanted to move on with my life and put the whole episodes behind me. I would like to think that i am definitely over him but it's easier said than done, i guess as after more than a year, i still find myself thinking of him sometimes and i just can't seems to open up to any new relationships & my friends have also commented that i have been pushing people away.

Couple of weeks ago, i found out that he married the ex that he cheated with. In a way, i felt relieved to hear bout it as it confirmed that i was right bout his cheating. But at the same time, i felt like dying. I felt like i have been stabbed stonecold in the heart repeatly. I just couldn't breath and my heart was beating so fast and i just broke down. What hurts even more is the wedding was exactly how we used to envision. And i'm feeling all sorts of emotions - sad, rage, hatred, jealousy, lonely, miserable....

So, sometimes i do wonder if the problem lies with me. Everywhere i look, there are pictures of happy couple except myself. Will i ever find my own happy ever after? Or it's just my plain luck that i'm always attracted to things that are bad for me. Will i ever really moved on...

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[quote name='Camerons' date='22 January 2010 - 01:02 PM' timestamp='1264132964' post='578159']
My friends & family have alwasy thought of me as someone who is sensible, strong & able to get through anything. That sometimes make it harder for me to pour out to them when i'm upset and need someone to talk to. Besides, I'm not the kind of person that opens up easily to people bout emotions & thoughts. This site though, seems like a good place to start. Guess i just need an outlet to let off the emotions and maybe even gain some insights or words of wisdoms.

I have been in couple of relationships but none of them ever leads to any happy ending as most of them ended due to infidelity from my partner.

A year ago, my 8 years relationship ended as i suspected my ex cheated on me with his ex, though he denied it. I have a strong reason to suspect that as it was not the 1st time he did it. In fact, couple of months before, we have broken up once as he was cheating with another girl but i forgave & accepted him back when he begged for forgiveness. Guess old habit die hard as it doesn't take long for him to repeat the same mistake.

So, this time around, we broke for good and i just wanted to move on with my life and put the whole episodes behind me. I would like to think that i am definitely over him but it's easier said than done, i guess as after more than a year, i still find myself thinking of him sometimes and i just can't seems to open up to any new relationships & my friends have also commented that i have been pushing people away.

Couple of weeks ago, i found out that he married the ex that he cheated with. In a way, i felt relieved to hear bout it as it confirmed that i was right bout his cheating. But at the same time, i felt like dying. I felt like i have been stabbed stonecold in the heart repeatly. I just couldn't breath and my heart was beating so fast and i just broke down. What hurts even more is the wedding was exactly how we used to envision. And i'm feeling all sorts of emotions - sad, rage, hatred, jealousy, lonely, miserable....

So, sometimes i do wonder if the problem lies with me. Everywhere i look, there are pictures of happy couple except myself. [i][b]Will i ever find my own happy ever after?[/b][/i] Or it's just my plain luck that i'm always attracted to things that are bad for me. Will i ever really moved on...
[/quote]

Yes!! you will dear, i'm sure you will... and of cause, you will...

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yeah .. never give up there.. if u have any unhappy feeling or jz needed an ear, jz rant it out here..

the good stuff is still waiting for you out there..

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yes you will.. it is absolutely normal to feel sad when you see a happy couple.. you've been together for 8 yrs and you've been thru all the turmoils and all the hardship together.. it is very difficult to forget.. it is up to you to change yourself.. whether to look up to the bright sky and smile or look down on the gloomy river and frown.. I know its hard.. but if you pull thru.. happiness is always by your side..

I use to feel sad when I broke up with my ex because we were so meant to be with each other.. 4yrs down the road Im still crying deep down inside because I just couldnt forget the days and the nights we had together.. in the end I just thought to myself what for should I mourn for so long? I patched up my broken heart and went on with my life and now Im happily attached.. good things do come in the future.. you just have to be strong and take in all the challenges!

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dear Camerons, be strong! i understand 8 years relationship is really hard to forget. But since he's married, and he was unloyal to u, what for still missing him?you have no point to do so. no point to be upset alone as on the other side he doesn't care at all and having his happy life there. it's not worth definitely!
u will meet ur Mr. RIght one day, to cherish u, to love u, to be with u. ^^

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8 Years in relationship and didn’t tie the knot is a fraud relationship. Who refuse to register?

Couples in relationship for over 2 years don’t have plan to settle down is more likely to break up.

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Hey Camerons,

I just want to congratulate for having so much courage to break-up with him because it's never easy since you are so attached to him. I want to congratulate you for the self-respect that allows you to be honest to yourself about the relationship. Honestly, I think it takes a lot to walk away from a failed relationship.

I realize out of all the feelings that a human could ever feel, feeling sorry for oneself is the worst because when we start feeling sorry for ourselves, we allow ourselves to fall back into the pit, making it harder to crawl out of it. Like, crying and feeling sorry because the relationship fails is neither going to bring him back to you nor make him feel sorry for you.

Now that the worst is over, there is really nothing to be afraid of.

"You try. You try. You fail. But the true failure is when you stop trying" - The Magic Ball from the movie The Haunted Mansion (I know it's a bit funny to get a quote from there but I just think there words couldn't be any truer).

All the best :)

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Yup.... feeling sorry for oneself is definitely the lowest we can go. And although we could be telling ourselves that i'm not going there again but sometimes the darkness will just suck you in when you least expect it and you just ended up falling again.

I thought i had crawl out from the pit. Which is why how i felt when i found out bout the news appaled me. Something that i just can't understand and it scares me and makes me think maybe i'm not really over it and all this while i'm still in denial stage.

So is it a normal feeling to feel what i felt if you just found out that the one who you thought is the love of your life married someone else. Edited by Camerons

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Hi Camerons,

First of all im totally agree with [b]Scryllis... [/b]I totally respect and salute you for ur courage, u dare to leave him after 8 yrs of relationship... that is not easy.

Somehow, you must remember, he's not worth it. you must realise that its better you cry now. Why im saying this... because you know him in and out... dont you think he will cheat on you if you married to him? and if you were to married to him, and he cheated on you, it will break your heart even worst and imagine if you have children with him?

So i think you better think the blessing in this tragedy, you never know that one day, a better person will approach you.

Congratulation on your new Born life. I wish you a a better life. May you be happy.

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Hey Camerons, I can't exactly say that I understand what you're feeling but I can sort of relate to that. My relationship failed even before he started because he told me that he didn't want a long distance relationship initially. He ended up taking me up for a ride and when time's up he dumped me. I can't even say he dumped me because the relationship basically not even official. For me, I know that my logic tells me that these sort of guys are not worth it but I can't help crying because I really missed him. To me, regardless of his imperfections and mistakes, I would take him back. I think back about all those sweet times and I just can't help but to wonder if something could have happened if I had done something different. Nevertheless, it didn't change the fact that he left me. The fact that he is selfish. The fact that he has some major issues that he needs to deal with himself.The fact that he doesn't care about me. The fact that he doesn't respect me. The fact that he's just not in love with me and all that he's been doing is leeching off me. And I think for everyone, there's a certain threshold to how much you can handle. But think of this alternative. A future in which you have a partner who respects, cherish, honor and love you. Although there's no guarantee that he won't make you cry, but what makes him different is that he'll be there to wipe the tears for you and he'll be the shoulder for you to cry on. The best reason to move on is for you to get one step closer to that guy and if you don't thinking about your ex, you won't be able to notice him. Just try to occupy yourself with activities. It really helps to distract you from thinking about him. Take your time. Don't force it. And before you even know it, you're SO OVER him.

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Hi Scryllis,

Sorry to hear bout your story but everything that you mentioned really hit it right. When nothing ever make perfect sense, we just can't help but to wonder if we could have done things differently so we could still be together despite all the horrible things he did.

I hope you have had your better days now and you found that someone who really loves you and truly adores you [img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]

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be strong, camerons
[img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]

let go all the bad memories...

live with passion, love urself n keep thinking positively..

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