What am I really doing?

[stupidguy 0]

Dear forumers,

Please and thank you to become my listeners and reading my long bored story. A story of my relationship. I'm a straightforward person. Her name is "W".

I get to know her for already 10 years. When I in college time, she and I are just pen friend. Writing letters and sms to each others. Right after I'm completed my course, we start to meet (She from Sg. Petani and I'm from Penang). After 3 months of getting along I start to have strong feeling with her. I know I love her so I make my move that period of time. Who knows, at the same time there are another guy was trying to make a proposal to her too.... So at the end, she decide to accept the other guy which is her 2nd ex-bf. I really feel heart broken that time.

But after 2 years of waiting, because I still don't plan to get other girls that time. Something happened. She have contact me again and tell me that she already break up with her BF. So we start to get along again and at the end, my dream come true. We have become a lovely couple. A pair of couple that very enjoy our every single happy moments (because I very busy at work and seldom have chance to meet her because afterall I'm in penang and she in Sg Petani) and very seldom have arguements.... I love her and so she really love me as well. But nightmare start to happen after 2 years of our relationship. She really likes Mickey Mouse and Disney Characters. So that time she make a request that want to bring her to Hong Kong Disneyland. And of course, I promise her that I will fulfill her dream. We are really lucky that time and get to book air asia free ticket to go Macau in the coming half a year. But too bad, in between the period of times, I facing some financial issues (I'm am a poor guy). I know I still can get her to Hong Kong but I may depleted my savings which I think it might be dangerous. But I also know that I can earn it back in few months times by working on more OTs. But because of I was too afraid, I decide to break my promise to bring her to HK. I know she really dissapointed with me and feel like I cheating her. (She put in all her hope on me but all I did was dissapointed and turn her down) She really angry and she insist of don't want to see me. ( I don't why I was to stupid that time I did't go straight to her house to clear things up) In the end, I lose her. But I didn't give up, I still try my best to keep contact with her and try to make things work out but one day (after some period of time) she telling me that she might be accepting another guy. Well, I totally lose her again this time. Really super heart broken this time. Totally no more turning back. I totally regret of my make a bad move to break my promise to her. I know I really hurt her. But nothing I can do already beside regret.

After a year, I have another relationship for 3 years but too bad, we are not happy in the end so both of us did agreed to breakup. After the breakup (which is present time), I get to contact her again (W). But she is still together with that new guy. I thought I suppose to let go everything already because already after so many years and I also end another relationship. But who knows, this news still make me feel my heart very painful. I can't believe after so many years indirectly inside my heart I still keep her with me and now the pain come back again..... I still can clearly remember our happy mements and so how hurt her that time. I already take a whole week leave to rest a home because totally no mood at all. Still can't sleep properly until today. But this is no hope at all.... She already have another relationship. All I can do now is wish her live happily. But am I suppose to just let go like that? Or try to get her back? I hate this feeling.

Moral I learn from this fail relationship:

1. YES, money is important. But what we really need is something that brought by the money. We won't be happy with whole lots of money in the bank. But we will happy when we spend money for our needs, our wants and your beloved once. Not the money to make us happy. Even now I got enough money for me to spend, but I already somthing most important in my life. Even I hug the money also I can't sleep now.

2. Inside a relationship, 3 most important component have to be in. Respect, Trust and Happiness. Because my dis-respect and create a big gap in trust. If Trust and Respect already lost, there won't be happiness....

3. Just don't too straightforward with girl. What I mean here is, when that time she insist don't want to see me, I can actually travel to Sg. Petani and maybe I still have chance touch her and get back our relationship. But because of I'm so stupid, just listen to her sayings and stay where am I. That why it maybe continue hurting her and in the end totally lost.

So, I'm totally regret with what I did last time and I feel like I'm a total idiot.....

Thank you for reading. I just feel like sharing and hope can get rid of this pain faster. Really hurt man. 10 years of sad story after all.

And with you guys and girls have happy relationship and don't follow my foot step.

Cheers Edited February 21, 2010 by stupidguy

[NeoSquall 0]

in my opinion, she should understand that you are into financial difficulties. However money hungry the girl is, if she truely does loves you and sees you as a keeper, I dont think she would be so mad until it will affect the relationship.

[tripleL 0]

I agree, i m a woman, i wont breakup with my bf just becoz my bf has no money to bring me to HK ...I do not think this woman is worth your sleepless nites..gud luck!

[pamster 0]

uhm, did u explain to her why you couldn't bring her to macau?

ur story reminds me of my ex bf, he quietly work very hard and suffered a lot just to make more money for us, but in the end i broke up with him anyway because he didn't tell me anything about it until it's too late. i feel very insulted that he thinks i only want to be with him during happy times.

on a brighter note! next time u want to plan travelling with ur gf, keep a piggy bank in your bedroom. then slowly put in cash or FD slip into the coinbox, so everytime ur future gf sees it she'll know you are making the effort to make her dreams come true feel better ok!

[::Nicole:: 0]

i think even if u didn't tell her the REAL reason for not bringing her to HK, it doesn't mean she has an excuse to break up with u! i'm sure she knows how much u wanted to fulfill her dream and also u don't simply make a promise which u can't keep.. she has to talk to u and find out the reason why.. not just by breaking up.. so fragile your r'ship?

anyway, 3 years ago my hubby promised to take me to US.. i did my visa.. 10 years.. but we didn't go at the end coz money was tight.. but does that mean i have an excuse to divorce him? no.. until now i still haven't go to US yet.. i know what's our priority.. traveling can go anytime, any day coz we're still young.. but earning money now for our future is our top priority Edited January 19, 2010 by ::Nicole::

[Bell86 0]

apparently i dont think she is worth your love!!! yeah they are right, a relationship wouldnt be so fragile that it can break when one of the partners couldnt fulfill a single promise and in fact the promise that you made was just a vacation and not a life long commitment that you have broken.

[stupidguy 0]

thank you guy and girls.... for taking time to read and reply. i'm understand what u guys mean. But wha thave done is done. Sometimes just couldn't get trough my feeling. She is my first love after all. I just need sometime to let it go and keep moving on... this is life right...!!

Cheers

[yuri 0]

hmm.. can it be something more?..it sounds ridiculous that after 3 years of being with you she breaks up.. it is not a short or not a long time as well... maybe u have some bad habits or something that made her feel so tired and fedup that she cant take it anymore?.. so happen that ur breaking of promise to bring her to HK jz heightened it?... i dunno lah only u will know the truth..

bt anyway since its over and she's gone, u dun be so sad also lah.. u cry everyday also no use cause she wont be back by ur side if u cry a whole bucket of tears loe.. i have friends who do all kinda things to get her bf back, in the end, she's even more hurt... i jz dun think that is the correct way to do..

look ahead.. life has many more things coming in front.. dun look back and we wish that u enjoy ur journey of life... hehe.. cheers...

[scryllis 0]

Hey stupidguy,

You're not stupid just because you've made a mistake. I agree with what other MYB members say. The best reason to move on is because your Miss Right could be just right in front of you and you might never notice her because you're too busy thinking about your selfish ex!

[Jue 0]

To fulfill Her dream is NOT your responsibility laaa.... She sound B**chy to me.

Anyway... why calling yourself "Stupidguy"...? i think you have a low selfesteam issue here. look into that okay... Coz i think you a nice guy... and NOT stupid.

[stupidguy 0]

[quote name='Jue' date='26 January 2010 - 11:25 AM' timestamp='1264476316' post='578294']
To fulfill Her dream is NOT your responsibility laaa.... She sound B**chy to me.

Anyway... why calling yourself "Stupidguy"...? i think you have a low selfesteam issue here. look into that okay... Coz i think you a nice guy... and NOT stupid.
[/quote]


hi Jue,

i'm being using "stupidguy" username across some forum la... Just don't feel like i'm smart either... hihi.

Hi all,

i understand what u all means la. just sometime when u really like someone, dont care right or wrong, reasonable or not, just feel like doing it. just want to see her happy... that day just couldnt get through my own feeling and just feel like wanna share. we are human after all... I'm totally fine now...

Thank you and cheers Edited February 18, 2010 by stupidguy

[chell90 0]

Hi! I do hope you are moving on with your life. Money is important but should not be a major issue till it breaks a relationship up. Do stay strong.

[timothyngim 0]

One more moral of the story:

Next time you wanna go Hong Kong or Disneyland, go through a travel agent/take tour. Dun pandai pandai just buy Air Asia, then you have to walk up to buy ferry ticket (bcos MACAU) and then walk up to Disneyland to buy ticket???

Last time I went HK with my family we bought a free and easy package, which already includes hotel, Disneyland/Ocean Park tickets and also the Ngong Ping 360 degrees cable car ticket (located very close to HK Disneyland on Lantau Island also).

Tat way, you wont have the hassle of fully guided tour (more freedom) but you will have added advantage like tour bus pick u up from airport and send u to your hotel, pick up at hotel and send you to Disneyland, then after Disneyland back again to hotel and after that back again to airport. Clever clever book yourself you have to take MTR and summore Lantau Island is soooo far from Kowloon where most tourists usually stay.

As for the girl, well, wats up with her anyway... small thing like that wanna break up. She reminds me of "kampung girl" mentality, maybe as well bcos she come from a "kampung" place compared to u.

[d3vil doll 0]

[quote name='stupidguy' date='17 January 2010 - 09:33 AM' timestamp='1263692034' post='577940']
Dear forumers,

Please and thank you to become my listeners and reading my long bored story. A story of my relationship. I'm a straightforward person. Her name is "W".

I get to know her for already 10 years. When I in college time, she and I are just pen friend. Writing letters and sms to each others. Right after I'm completed my course, we start to meet (She from Sg. Petani and I'm from Penang). After 3 months of getting along I start to have strong feeling with her. I know I love her so I make my move that period of time. Who knows, at the same time there are another guy was trying to make a proposal to her too.... So at the end, she decide to accept the other guy which is her 2nd ex-bf. I really feel heart broken that time.

But after 2 years of waiting, because I still don't plan to get other girls that time. Something happened. She have contact me again and tell me that she already break up with her BF. So we start to get along again and at the end, my dream come true. We have become a lovely couple. A pair of couple that very enjoy our every single happy moments (because I very busy at work and seldom have chance to meet her because afterall I'm in penang and she in Sg Petani) and very seldom have arguements.... I love her and so she really love me as well. But nightmare start to happen after 2 years of our relationship. She really likes Mickey Mouse and Disney Characters. So that time she make a request that want to bring her to Hong Kong Disneyland. And of course, I promise her that I will fulfill her dream. We are really lucky that time and get to book air asia free ticket to go Macau in the coming half a year. But too bad, in between the period of times, I facing some financial issues (I'm am a poor guy). I know I still can get her to Hong Kong but I may depleted my savings which I think it might be dangerous. But I also know that I can earn it back in few months times by working on more OTs. But because of I was too afraid, I decide to break my promise to bring her to HK. I know she really dissapointed with me and feel like I cheating her. (She put in all her hope on me but all I did was dissapointed and turn her down) She really angry and she insist of don't want to see me. ( I don't why I was to stupid that time I did't go straight to her house to clear things up) In the end, I lose her. But I didn't give up, I still try my best to keep contact with her and try to make things work out but one day (after some period of time) she telling me that she might be accepting another guy. Well, I totally lose her again this time. Really super heart broken this time. Totally no more turning back. I totally regret of my make a bad move to break my promise to her. I know I really hurt her. But nothing I can do already beside regret.

After a year, I have another relationship for 3 years but too bad, we are not happy in the end so both of us did agreed to breakup. After the breakup (which is present time), I get to contact her again (W). But she is still together with that new guy. I thought I suppose to let go everything already because already after so many years and I also end another relationship. But who knows, this news still make me feel my heart very painful. I can't believe after so many years indirectly inside my heart I still keep her with me and now the pain come back again..... I still can clearly remember our happy mements and so how hurt her that time. I already take a whole week leave to rest a home because totally no mood at all. Still can't sleep properly until today. But this is no hope at all.... She already have another relationship. All I can do now is wish her live happily. But am I suppose to just let go like that? Or try to get her back? I hate this feeling.

Moral I learn from this fail relationship:

1. YES, money is important. But what we really need is something that brought by the money. We won't be happy with whole lots of money in the bank. But we will happy when we spend money for our needs, our wants and your beloved once. Not the money to make us happy. Even now I got enough money for me to spend, but I already somthing most important in my life. Even I hug the money also I can't sleep now.

2. Inside a relationship, 3 most important component have to be in. Respect, Trust and Happiness. Because my dis-respect and create a big gap in trust. If Trust and Respect already lost, there won't be happiness....

3. Just don't too straightforward with girl. What I mean here is, when that time she insist don't want to see me, I can actually travel to Sg. Petani and maybe I still have chance touch her and get back our relationship. But because of I'm so stupid, just listen to her sayings and stay where am I. That why it maybe continue hurting her and in the end totally lost.

So, I'm totally regret with what I did last time and I feel like I'm a total idiot.....

Thank you for reading. I just feel like sharing and hope can get rid of this pain faster. Really hurt man. 10 years of sad story after all.

And with you guys and girls have happy relationship and don't follow my foot step.

Cheers
[/quote]


[color=''#ff00ff'']I'm sure ur a wise adult.Torturing urself,isolating urself from the outside world for 1 week,sleepless nights WONT HELP U IN GAINING HER BACK.Plus u will only put ur health in jeopardy and making ur family worried sick with u.Is that fair to ur loved ones?
Get up already from the pain ur experiencing and BE A MAN!Ur pain losing a girl means nothing compared to the love and sacrifice ur parents had made for u.

Chances are,shes disappointed with u and I know being dissapoint by the person u love s*cks.But the damage is done so [size=6] MOVE ON[/size]
If u find it harder still after this,u might be suffering from depression.If u lose ur appetite to it,lose interest in things u used to love,love the be left alone all the time,lose a HUGE amount of weigjts,and worst having suicidal thoughts,its the ringing bell for u to get professional help.Get to see a physcologist or counsellor @ least.They can help u.
As for me,I cant have a good night sleep after my mind expose the traumatic event in my llife,when I'm just a child.All the while I'm okay living my life till the ghost of my past haunts me in my sleep.Unconsciously,my mind decides to hide the traumatic event in my life,as a way to heal itself but things take a turn when I have constant same nightmare,causing me sleepless nights to the extent I [b] WANT TO END MY LIFE,THE MESS[/b]
(This got nothing to do with my first breakups or girl-boy-puppy love-relationships)I'm now taking the combination of Xanax and Lexapro for long term with careful team of doctors watching me and my symptoms
Though u can only get Xanax and Lexapro after careful and through diagnosis with neuronologist,physcologist and psychiatrist.
I realise my dangerous,unstable mood swings late last year,resulting from my traumatic past when I finally check into rehab and was put under the care of a team of specialist watching me 24/7
Prior to that,I was abusing myself.I refuse to eat,I HOPE i DIE OF STARVATION!ALL ON MY MIND WAS TO DIE SO ALL THE MESS IS PUT TO A STOP
U cant get it over-the -counter as its a controlled substances(TO avoid it being abuse,since its a powerful drugs)U need written consent from a panel of specialists in order to get it in pharmacy
Coming from much worse situation ur in and that I'm prone to abuse myself whenever I'm losing control with my ''normal'' life I can easily identify the sign of depression


Well,I know its hard to forget ur first love and it hurt when u lose ur first love.Trust me,I'm in such situation too,but I'm younger than u when that happens.I'm 16 I think

Accept the terms that u can never forget her and her memories ,so learn to put her behind.
Do not attempt to patch up with her again.If this girl can leaves u she might do it the second time around.Just wish her happiness with her new lover and continue being a friend with her,no more than that
Do not harrass her,or u will lose her even as a friend!Speaking from my own experience.I end my friendship with my ex who harrassed me after our break-ups


U have other priorities now:Do well in ur career and support ur ageing parents!Meanwhile,cupid strike when u least expect it.Good luck [/color]