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Isabelonely

In Love with A Married Man

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I know this might sounds cliche. Fall in love with the married man (the wrong man!)... I've been in love before but nothing compares to my feeling towards him. We knew each other for a year but started the serious relationship about 3 mths ago. Reason of his unfaithfulness towards his wife was because they are not happy with each other anymore. I did asked him before did he still love his wife. He said it's more to respect now as she is the mother to his kids. He also told me that they didn't have sex anymore and her wife never initiated to be intimate also. I knew I am such a fool for getting myself into this relationship, but at the same time I couldn't let go. There was so many times when I told him that we shouldn't be doing this anymore and there are once he even down on his knees, cried and told me to give him a little more time. I don't want to sounds like a home wrecker but we love each other so much. I am torn and confused..

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The reasons given by the man are so typical. Get out of this relationship while you still can. I am speaking from experience, infact, my situation was EXACTLY like yours. It was very hard for me to let go of the relationship back then, but I knew that it was heading NOWHERE. It was very painful for me too as there was sooo much love involved. It took me more than 1 year to end it. My advice: talk to friends about this, get yourself involved in activities so you can take your mind off him. Dont oblige to his every whim and fancy. Try not to see him too much. It will be very difficult at first but you will be able to get over him IF you really want to & try to. Now when I look back at my relationship, I couldnt help but laugh at my self for being so silly to have fallen in love with a married man!

Always remember this...he will NEVER leave his wife for you, no matter how much you love each other. You may not expect him to leave his wife for you, but then you must always know and remember that your relationship will head no where.

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Agree with Teff, he will not leave his wife for you. How is he respecting her when he's sleeping around behind her back? & Give him more time? To do what? I think it means give him more of your life for his gratification.

Don't waste the best years of your life on him or worrying about where it's going, you already know it's going to end badly & odds are you're the one who's going to take the loss because chances are that when he goes into damage control mode, he will do the "right thing" & stand by his wife and children.

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Thanks for the advise guys.. I know it is easily said than done but I hope I can really learn to let go. It is really hard to found someone that you really love your whole hearted but I guess this one is not worth fighting for. He is a father of 2 kids and I can't imagine my life in the future if I'm still stick with him. I even get really jealous and irritating sometimes cause he loves them so much. The kids that her wife gave birth to. Omg! I should really wake up!

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='05 January 2010 - 08:30 PM' timestamp='1262694653' post='577530']
Thanks for the advise guys.. I know it is easily said than done but I hope I can really learn to let go. It is really hard to found someone that you really love your whole hearted but I guess this one is not worth fighting for. He is a father of 2 kids and I can't imagine my life in the future if I'm still stick with him. I even get really jealous and irritating sometimes cause he loves them so much. The kids that her wife gave birth to. Omg! I should really wake up!
[/quote]

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='05 January 2010 - 08:30 PM' timestamp='1262694653' post='577530']
Thanks for the advise guys.. I know it is easily said than done but I hope I can really learn to let go. It is really hard to found someone that you really love your whole hearted but I guess this one is not worth fighting for. He is a father of 2 kids and I can't imagine my life in the future if I'm still stick with him. I even get really jealous and irritating sometimes cause he loves them so much. The kids that her wife gave birth to. Omg! I should really wake up!
[/quote]

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='05 January 2010 - 08:30 PM' timestamp='1262694653' post='577530']
Thanks for the advise guys.. I know it is easily said than done but I hope I can really learn to let go. It is really hard to found someone that you really love your whole hearted but I guess this one is not worth fighting for. He is a father of 2 kids and I can't imagine my life in the future if I'm still stick with him. I even get really jealous and irritating sometimes cause he loves them so much. The kids that her wife gave birth to. Omg! I should really wake up!
[/quote]


wad u are doing right now, is no doubt destroying a family,u have no intention to do so but u are certainly the culprit if this tragedy really happened~u dont want to do so, do u? i understand that love is a selfish business but u have no right to part two innocent kids with either one of their parents, they will be hurt deeply~~

a man who has no loyalty and commitment to his wife is not worthy for ur love as well and i look down on him~beside, the reason that he be with u is very simple my lady, he just wants to fulfill his sexual needs~there is no real love among both of u, so dont waste your time on him..move on n find a better man!!

p.s pls spare those two kids and let them grow up happily with the guidance from both of their parents~

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i believe u already hv da answer . U know wats best 4 urself. May not b easy initially but time will help. U hav 2 b strong and determined. A short term pain is better den a long term sufferings. Am sure u can do it.

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Agree always easier said than done. & it's not easy because you actually care for this man & are even concerned for his family. It is disappointing but as you already said you don't see a future together I think if you build a stronger love bond with him now it's going to get more painful when the inevitable end comes.

You have 3 options:

1. Keep going as is - do nothing - & let it him end it, when you least expect it in the most unprepared way likely to hurt everyone including your family, his family, his wife & children, and yourself in the worst possible way.

2. End it.

3. Have him divorce his wife and start a new life with you. This will take time and possibly a few years. If badly managed may turn into a dirty fight & in the courts & you may risk ending up with the result of option 1.

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You have the answer yourself and you knew it is not right else you wont be writing here to express how you feel.
It is definitely not right to be a 3rd party in someone's family. The kids will be hurt..
If one day he really can divorce for you, then only consider a relationship with him.

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If there is free lunch, who will not want it...dun u still get it...he got free sex from you...u r cheaper than a prostitute!! And why not , to him, that he can enjoy free sex at your own expense (your youth). I had a friend who exactly at your position last time, she finally woke up and started a family with another more responsible man and so much happier now...Wake up girl!! You r so stupid if u continue with this relationship..sorry for scolding u but i scolded my friend the same way before she woke up finally!! Even a prostitute charge for sex, who r u to him and u r giving him free sex...this man has no respect for u and himself nor his wife!!

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love is selfish...i guess u'll said it's hard 2 let go...cos u both love each other very much...jz do it...let him go...he's not da gd man 4 u 2 waste ur time...now he can betray his wife & be wif u...who noe in da future, u'll become his wife position...get betray by him...

he has a gd family...wif wife & kids...dun destroy them...let da kids grow up in da healthy family...although he really divorce wif his wife...wat u get? u get all da complains...u r da bad woman...u r da 1 who snatch ppl hubby...u wan 2 be like tat?

there's lots of gd man out there...y must him? do u think he's really gd? is it worth 4 u 2 do tat? gip him sometimes....no more love wif da wife...all these is bullshit...so dramaticlah...

come on, girl...i noe u can choose da right answer...ganbateh...!!!...time can let u 4get him...nothing is impossibe... :)

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[quote name='Bb Tama-Chan' date='06 January 2010 - 12:11 PM' timestamp='1262751106' post='577553']
love is selfish...i guess u'll said it's hard 2 let go...cos u both love each other very much...jz do it...let him go...he's not da gd man 4 u 2 waste ur time...now he can betray his wife & be wif u...who noe in da future, u'll become his wife position...get betray by him...

he has a gd family...wif wife & kids...dun destroy them...let da kids grow up in da healthy family...although he really divorce wif his wife...wat u get? u get all da complains...u r da bad woman...u r da 1 who snatch ppl hubby...u wan 2 be like tat?

there's lots of gd man out there...y must him? do u think he's really gd? is it worth 4 u 2 do tat? gip him sometimes....no more love wif da wife...all these is bullshit...so dramaticlah...

come on, girl...i noe u can choose da right answer...ganbateh...!!!...time can let u 4get him...nothing is impossibe... :)
[/quote]


U said it all right!! He betraying his wife now...later he will betray u later..this is proven coz my other friend has this "pou ying"..she snatched other ppl bf (bf only, not even hubby ler),not more than 2 years, that guy got snatched by another new girl from her hands....coz if that guy so easily tempted by new girls..sure he got tempted again the second time...

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='05 January 2010 - 08:30 PM' timestamp='1262694653' post='577530']
Thanks for the advise guys.. I know it is easily said than done but I hope I can really learn to let go. It is really hard to found someone that you really love your whole hearted but I guess this one is not worth fighting for. He is a father of 2 kids and I can't imagine my life in the future if I'm still stick with him. I even get really jealous and irritating sometimes cause he loves them so much. The kids that her wife gave birth to. Omg! I should really wake up!
[/quote]


I used to be in love with a married guy before. However, I tried really hard to suppress my feelings for him. It was really, really difficult as we see each other every single days as we worked together. I constantly has the urge to confess to him but did not as I felt that it was really wrong. Things don't help when he strongly showed his interest towards me and sms-ing every single days. It was quite a torture to contain the feelings inside me.

Which, at this point now, I am glad that I did. The efforts paid off, as I had found the love of my life. I am really glad that I didn't get involved in any affairs.

I know my situation is pretty different from yours, but I do believe that, if you are determined, you can do it! Believe in yourself.

I wish you all the best. :)

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I would like to share with you all on what's happening after my post on 3rd Jan. 20 days after that my worst nightmare comes to real life. On 23rd Jan, I received a call from his mobile. Without hesitation I picked up the call and it is his wife on the other line. I guess they just have a huge fight I can hear the crying sounds of her daughter and she began to yelled at me calling me bitch and whore, asked me to come over their residence right away. "So you loveed with my husband, you bitch" these words still echoes in my head up until now.. The night before that, he was at my place right when he landed in Malaysia after his work trip. I wasn't sure how she founds out but the strange thing was I didn't feel afraid at all of facing her. It was raining really hard, I drove to their place which is only 15 mins away from my house. She was already there waiting for me outside the gate when I arrived. The kids was in the living room, she asked me to go upstairs instead of having the conversation in front of her kids. When I went up, I was shocked to see him bruise all over his body, there was also a blood stain in his shirt and face. I guess his wife hits him really hard, maybe throwing some hard stuff. He looked at me but I can't read his expression, he was full of guilt...and torn apart. His wife finally cools down and started to asked me questions like how long have this relationship been going on, I talked to her calmly and telling her that I didn't mean to get into this affair but he was the one who always make me stay and telling me about how broken is his marriage life. She laughed when she heard that, sarcasticly she told me that they have been making love almost every night and there is nothing wrong with their marriage. My heart stopped beating when I heard that I looked at him with my teary eyes he seems sorry from that moment I knew that bastard has been lying so he can bed me. And I also learned that his wife found out about us from his passport whereby he supposed to be home a day earlier. I felt so ashamed, upset and angry of myself I couldnt stay there any longer and I leave the house with unstable emotion. After the incident, I didn't ate for almost a week I cried almost every night thinking about things we used to do and all the promises he make. I've learned the biggest lesson in my life, I hope time will heal my paper heart cause up until now I'm still heartbroken...

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dear,isabelonely

i'm so sorry for what have happened back there. but at least now you have seen for yourself his true colors and perhaps you might have learn something from this incident. i always believe that a relationship that involve a 3rd part might have some consequences behind it. what i can tell you is forget the past and move forward. i know it is not easy at all but time will wash the sorrow away. i'm sure you can do it and i will totally support u from far[img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif[/img] for now, do take good care of yourself,alright !

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yeah.. it is a blessing in disguise.. cause if the last incident didnt take place, you would have still been with that guy.. and you would have still believed that his marriage is nt doing good and still hoping that he'd leave his wife..

i'd say, take it as a good news to snap you out of that situation ur in.. and dont make the same mistakes later on..

whats most important now is to make urself happy... :rolleyes:

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omg dear, i'm so sorry... thanks for sharing your story...

.... i'm so sorry dear, but you will get better... be strong...

it's ok to emo, i recommend listening to leona lewis songs

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='08 February 2010 - 09:41 PM' timestamp='1265636460' post='578828']
I would like to share with you all on what's happening after my post on 3rd Jan. 20 days after that my worst nightmare comes to real life. On 23rd Jan, I received a call from his mobile. Without hesitation I picked up the call and it is his wife on the other line. I guess they just have a huge fight I can hear the crying sounds of her daughter and she began to yelled at me calling me bitch and whore, asked me to come over their residence right away. "So you loveed with my husband, you bitch" these words still echoes in my head up until now.. The night before that, he was at my place right when he landed in Malaysia after his work trip. I wasn't sure how she founds out but the strange thing was I didn't feel afraid at all of facing her. It was raining really hard, I drove to their place which is only 15 mins away from my house. She was already there waiting for me outside the gate when I arrived. The kids was in the living room, she asked me to go upstairs instead of having the conversation in front of her kids. When I went up, I was shocked to see him bruise all over his body, there was also a blood stain in his shirt and face. I guess his wife hits him really hard, maybe throwing some hard stuff. He looked at me but I can't read his expression, he was full of guilt...and torn apart. His wife finally cools down and started to asked me questions like how long have this relationship been going on, I talked to her calmly and telling her that I didn't mean to get into this affair but he was the one who always make me stay and telling me about how broken is his marriage life. She laughed when she heard that, sarcasticly she told me that they have been making love almost every night and there is nothing wrong with their marriage. My heart stopped beating when I heard that I looked at him with my teary eyes he seems sorry from that moment I knew that bastard has been lying so he can bed me. And I also learned that his wife found out about us from his passport whereby he supposed to be home a day earlier. I felt so ashamed, upset and angry of myself I couldnt stay there any longer and I leave the house with unstable emotion. After the incident, I didn't ate for almost a week I cried almost every night thinking about things we used to do and all the promises he make. I've learned the biggest lesson in my life, I hope time will heal my paper heart cause up until now I'm still heartbroken...


[/quote]




Umm, actually you bought all this on urself. And so did the guy. I wouldnt blame the wife for hitting/ bashing him. And ur lucky u got away with it without any harm from her. Im not trying to hurt ur feelings, im just being straight up and telling u how it is.
What woman would want her bf let alone husband sneaking around fcuking with another/ others? The thing that makes me wonder the most is "why" some girls/ women have affairs with someones bf/ husbands knowing that they wouldnt want it done to them. Why do they feel the need for words of comfort when things backfire? It just annoys me.
The wife i suppose has brains too. Atleast she didnt yell/talk to you in front of her kids. Even though her kids probably know whats going on.
Yes you should be ashamed, i would too if i were you or anyone else who got caught in this nasty situation. But then again, i wouldnt do this kinda thing anyway.
Just keep in mind that guys/men will say or do practically anything to get into ur pants, and women will/would do practically anything when theyre angry, ur lucky she didnt splash acid on u or something lol!. Just hope that oneday some other girl/ women wont steal/ or have an affair with your husband. Edited by Glow

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[quote name='Glow' date='11 February 2010 - 11:25 PM' timestamp='1265901935' post='578967']
Umm, actually you bought all this on urself. And so did the guy. I wouldnt blame the wife for hitting/ bashing him. And ur lucky u got away with it without any harm from her. Im not trying to hurt ur feelings, im just being straight up and telling u how it is.
What woman would want her bf let alone husband sneaking around fcuking with another/ others? The thing that makes me wonder the most is "why" some girls/ women have affairs with someones bf/ husbands knowing that they wouldnt want it done to them. Why do they feel the need for words of comfort when things backfire? It just annoys me.
The wife i suppose has brains too. Atleast she didnt yell/talk to you in front of her kids. Even though her kids probably know whats going on.
Yes you should be ashamed, i would too if i were you or anyone else who got caught in this nasty situation. But then again, i wouldnt do this kinda thing anyway.
Just keep in mind that guys/men will say or do practically anything to get into ur pants, and women will/would do practically anything when theyre angry, ur lucky she didnt splash acid on u or something lol!. Just hope that oneday some other girl/ women wont steal/ or have an affair with your husband.
[/quote]


the reason why I'm here is because I did a terrible mistake and I believe babes here were sincere in giving their advise and opinion like what I've have received from them and I'm appreciated it. I do not need critics or so-called words of comfort like you mentioned anyhow thanks for telling us your thoughts.

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[quote name='Isabelonely' date='12 February 2010 - 02:19 AM' timestamp='1265908765' post='578969']
the reason why I'm here is because I did a terrible mistake and I believe babes here were sincere in giving their advise and opinion like what I've have received from them and I'm appreciated it. I do not need critics or so-called words of comfort like you mentioned anyhow thanks for telling us your thoughts.
[/quote]

no 1 will actually know how u feels when u love some1 or the situation like this... all talks r cheap, really really cheap...
just b urself, treat urself nicer than ever, love wat u love & hates wat u hates...
cheers...

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[quote name='JINEIL2EN' date='12 February 2010 - 10:25 AM' timestamp='1265941553' post='578974']
no 1 will actually know how u feels when u love some1 or the situation like this... all talks r cheap, really really cheap...
just b urself, treat urself nicer than ever, love wat u love & hates wat u hates...
cheers...
[/quote]


Thanks JINEIL2EN.. it's actually a blessing cause I get to shared this with someone who I don't get to see or know but they have been so understanding all along...

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[size=5]I m a wife to my hubby whom I've been married for almost 22years...He cheated on me the same way this man cheated on our Isabelonely...He been doing this almost the entire years of our marriages..Until I called up all the ladies and talk nicely to them n xplaining how is my hubby character...N you know what he told them.! His wife is paralysed n cannot hv sex....I was so darn angry at first but this thing keep on going on...Then only I decided to talk to him n ask what are the problems...His answer is very simple...I dnt want them but they always call me n bring me out..bla, bla, bla.....And now I m happy because GOD do what he says....HE IS PARALYSED NOW FOR PUNISHING N HURTING ME N MY KIZ....[/size]

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i knw it sounds wrong to break a family , but can u be considering breaking up his family?? it is smth to do with the both of u, not u alone.. if its not fated fr him to be with his wife, do think they'll be happy tgth?? do u tink it will makes tings better fr em n d family??if u bliv its serious, n its getting somewhere, then u should go ahead. provided its not that he's cheating on his wife, bt the both of them have fallen out of love frm each othr n r not happy bein tgth... therz no point continuing a relationshp if ur not happy, u will ony fight more n break d family up... instead, if he's wit sum1 he loves, n hopefully the wife too, probably things wud get better fr the family-the kids- rather than to suffer in a perfect yet not happy family. i rather a not perfect family, but a happy one...

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