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Monica

i feel miserable and lost...what should i do?

9 posts in this topic

Here is my problem.. i need some advice..after you read my case, you might think that i am cheap,a whore or heartless people..but please, just give me some advice..you can scold me or wat, i need something to comfort myself....i knwo i am wrong...but cant go back anymore...a point of no return......

I am currently studying overseas, living in my sister's house with her husband...my sister support al my liviing cost and tuition fees...last year dec when i just came here,there is a housemate living together...after 3 months we fall in love with each other and we slept...by the time i have a long distance boyfiend...and i broke up with him and go with my housemate...we don wan to tell anyone coz we know no one will accept us...so we keep quite for around 1 month..and my sister and bro in law found out...they got so upset,then he has been kicked out from the house and we r told to not contact or seeing each other anymore, if not they will send me back to mlaysia...but i didn't stop going out with him...we seeing each other secretly for about 8 month...
finally they found out again last week...now i have been kicked out from my sister's house...no one will support my tuitions fee and i can only choose to move in with my boyfriend or go back tomalaysia and never comeback...he will be the one who support my living cost and tuition fees...but in exchnge, i lost my trust in my family, especially my sister...and i cant let my parents or other ppl knows, so my sister have to help me cover everythings and telling lies...what should i do? am i doing the right things to going out with this guy?
i feel like i am an super idiot...i betrayed my family's trust and i made my sister sad...she done so many things for me and just bcz i cant make myself breakup with that guy and i betrayed her...i'm so regret........i 've choose a guy that may not be forever and i lost my family........i am so dead.....
what should i do?should i just kill myself?

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[quote name='Monica' date='25 November 2009 - 05:31 AM' timestamp='1259098298' post='575749']
Here is my problem.. i need some advice..after you read my case, you might think that i am cheap,a whore or heartless people..but please, just give me some advice..you can scold me or wat, i need something to comfort myself....i knwo i am wrong...but cant go back anymore...a point of no return......

I am currently studying overseas, living in my sister's house with her husband...my sister support al my liviing cost and tuition fees...last year dec when i just came here,there is a housemate living together...after 3 months we fall in love with each other and we slept...by the time i have a long distance boyfiend...and i broke up with him and go with my housemate...we don wan to tell anyone coz we know no one will accept us...so we keep quite for around 1 month..and my sister and bro in law found out...they got so upset,then he has been kicked out from the house and we r told to not contact or seeing each other anymore, if not they will send me back to mlaysia...but i didn't stop going out with him...we seeing each other secretly for about 8 month...
finally they found out again last week...now i have been kicked out from my sister's house...no one will support my tuitions fee and i can only choose to move in with my boyfriend or go back tomalaysia and never comeback...he will be the one who support my living cost and tuition fees...but in exchnge, i lost my trust in my family, especially my sister...and i cant let my parents or other ppl knows, so my sister have to help me cover everythings and telling lies...what should i do? am i doing the right things to going out with this guy?
i feel like i am an super idiot...i betrayed my family's trust and i made my sister sad...she done so many things for me and just bcz i cant make myself breakup with that guy and i betrayed her...i'm so regret........i 've choose a guy that may not be forever and i lost my family........i am so dead.....
what should i do?should i just kill myself?
[/quote]

i dont understand y your family's members refuse to let both of u together?what's wrg?and u havent got married yet, that's the point; u have the right to choose who u want to be with isnt it??

dont kill yourself, it's just too stupid and it cant solve problem!!!be tough and i believe u can overcome all the obstacles my fren!!!

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[quote name='parrotsim' date='25 November 2009 - 10:18 PM' timestamp='1259158729' post='575787']
i dont understand y your family's members refuse to let both of u together?what's wrg?and u havent got married yet, that's the point; u have the right to choose who u want to be with isnt it??

dont kill yourself, it's just too stupid and it cant solve problem!!!be tough and i believe u can overcome all the obstacles my fren!!!
[/quote]


yeah...I dont get it...I dont see you doing anthing wrong..? Why ur sister dont wana give you freedom? Unless there's something hidden that you not telling. but to me your sister shud not throw you out...if she is responsible, she shud do wat best for you. kicking you out will lead to spoiling your future.
What is wrong with having a relationship? as i can see, if he willing to support you, he's a responsible guy...

but dont quit, struggle for your future, slowly try to talk with your sister... Family is important and even how hard it is... try to make her understand your life...your choice.

Never Quit okay....

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[quote name='Jue' date='26 November 2009 - 11:20 AM' timestamp='1259205659' post='575820']
yeah...I dont get it...I dont see you doing anthing wrong..? Why ur sister dont wana give you freedom? Unless there's something hidden that you not telling. but to me your sister shud not throw you out...if she is responsible, she shud do wat best for you. kicking you out will lead to spoiling your future.
What is wrong with having a relationship? as i can see, if he willing to support you, he's a responsible guy...

but dont quit, struggle for your future, slowly try to talk with your sister... Family is important and even how hard it is... try to make her understand your life...your choice.

Never Quit okay....
[/quote]

well, i can understand from ur sister point of view.. she might feel that ur not ready for a relationship as u are still studying and she's the 1 who supports u.. money doesnt come easily especially when she can opt to not support u.. and when she told u she dont like u to hav a relationship, she hopes that u will focus on ur studies, graduate and make her proud.. but now, it seems like she's given u a chance and not once bt twice u broke her trust.. she now might feel that its not worthy to support u anymore cause u dont even want to be responsible on ur future, what more her..

from that point of view, i do somehow agree that both parties have their wrong doings.. u should be mature enough to know that it is ur sister's hard earned money being used to support ur education overseas.. remember, nt many ppl can have that privilege to go overseas for studies.. u should be responsible to complete ur course asap so that she wont have to support u so heavily..

since she can sacrifice for u... WHY cant u do the same for her in return?...

and ur sister shouldnt kick u out of the house lah... where does she expect u to go?.. i assume that she is expecting ur bf to take the responsibility to support u?... we dont know.. bt pls dun kill urself to make ur sister regret... thats nt the answer to this situation ur in...

most u can do now, is to complete ur degree... so focus in getting it completed...

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Just complete the degree first, other problems will solved eventually. And I think no matter what happen, family is always there for us.
If I'm in your shoes, I'll choose my family, you are so young, there are so many possibilities in future.
Don't give up your life, the best is yet to come :)

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Why have you lost trust in your family, it should be the other way round. You are supported & paid to study. They kicked out the guy as an example, & since you didn't learn that they meant it, & they kicked you out.

Killing yoursef if just dumb and so darn spoilt, & I know you don't even have the courage to carry it thru.

1. Can you support yourself and carry on studying? If not:

2. Go back to you sis and say you're sorry and hopefully they'll let you live with them and continue to pay for you studies again. Understand you will not enjoy their full confidence ever again for abusing it. You may need to get a part time job to see yourself thru your studies and look after some of your own living expenses.

& Leave this guy, he's taking advantage of you knowing full well you'll be in trouble. He only wants you for sex.

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If he is renting a room, how could he afford to support your tuition fee? It is drastic for your sister to kick you out from the house, could only mean there is something seriously wrong with the guy.
Suggest you to leave him and go back to your family. If he is mean for you, you two can always continue after you graduated and are more matured.

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yeah, family will always be with us.

Not worth ditching your family for a guy whom , as you said yourself, might not even last!

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WHOA... Slow down girl... ending ur life wudnt make things better... u shud knw that... although ur running away frm the pain, ur causing mre pain to mre ppl... Think abt those who love you.. it wud be a great lost for them... Seriously, I have attempted suicide b4... n TWICE fr dat matter!!! But u have to knw that in times like this, u really need ur frens... sumwan to talk to... Write down on a piece of paper, the disadvantages of ending ur life... Look them up closely... Then, write down what are the benefits if u keep on living ur life... Think properly... Its not worth it to end ur life juz like dat...

Firstly, you have to know the reason ur sister doesn't accept u both.. Izit dat she's worried and concern abt u?? abt ur studies?? After all, u went a long way n ur studying overseas... For an older family member, priorities always come first... So talk it over with ur sis or brother in law... U have to know the reason they forbade u to be with him n talk it over with them nicely... Voice out ur points... ur feelings... But u have to listen to their point of view too...

Secondly, evrybody deserves to love and be loved... For me, i believe in fate... If ur with a guy ur not fated to be with, it wudnt work out no matter how hard u try... I bliv fate has its own way of doing things... If and this guy are fated to be with each othr, u hav to believe... No matter what u do, in the near or distant future, the both of u will eventually have things ur way...

My advice would be to talk this over with a family member and work things out together... U have gone so far to studying overseas, u better not stop halfway... If this guy really loves u, he will be willing to wait for ur return and be with you...
But if u really think that this guy thinks maturely enough, u knw in n out abt him, n bliv that he can provide u with wat u want n wat u need, do what ur heart tells you... ur sis n u share the same blood... sooner or later, ur family will come to understand your decisions and respect them... but of course, u have to endure some sorrowness if u choose either path... But without sorrowness, there's no compassion...

Everybody has a point in life where they need to make tough decisions, ur time is now... Hopefully u will choose wat's right fr you...
Remember... By every fall, u learn. By every cry, u become stronger...

U can pm me if u need anth...

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