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rylmngrl

Friends with Benefit

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Is there such thing as "friends with benefit" community in K.L? Am just wondering coz my mate in London seems to be avin these type of friendship lately and he's more than happy to share with me the details (middle finger in mouth making gagging sounds)..

Share your thoughts and possibly experience here... :)

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do you means, friends with intimacy or something else ?

i dont really get the pictures you talked about....

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do you means, friends with intimacy or something else ?

i dont really get the pictures you talked about....

Yes, FWB (friends with benefit) means that other person is just merely your sex partner. It can also be said that when both of you are lonely and want to be intimate, you usually just find each other to have sex and that's it (the end). It doesn't mean a relationship and most of the time when either one party gets too caught up and starting to take it seriously and harbouring feelings for that other person, then there's where the problems begin.

I think in Malaysia, this is not unheard off but people just don't talk about is as openly as our western friends do. I think if you choose to be invlove in this, just make sure you are strong enough to walk away anytime. Do not have any expectations :)

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This is not uncommon in Malaysia. A guy friend I once knew did not want to be more than a FWB with me. I am not open to this idea at all so we are no longer friends.

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Urgh.. ya benefits the man.

Whats the benefit for the woman?

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Urgh.. ya benefits the man.

Whats the benefit for the woman?

It's the 21st century. Both men and women want/need sex :lol:

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Men can only think about sex <- 90% of the male population

Women that do also think / want sex all the time <- 5% of the female population

Single - parent families <- too many

STD spread <- also too many

:P

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lol i see, quite ok to accept it, depend on the situation and your partners lo,

as for myself,

FWB which include sex, staying together, eat, sleep, along with other stuff together but maintain friends,

is still acceptable,

i do have a thinking where,

We stay together(i tidy her house, cook, and we pay together to stay along)

We Have the fun together (in regarding of intimacy, or whatever)

We Respect each other(she have her free time n bf, i have my blind dates n dinner)

We Help Each Other(i could give mans advise, she can fulfill my needs)

We Wont Be Together(remain FWB until either she got one or myself, unless fire sparks between us)

cause i really dont believe in relationship already, been fooled, tricked, played, rejected hard for thrice,

felt all this sudden or feelings are merely for a word, blind love, its like playing big or small game, where

you might win or lose, but i;m bad luck so its losing so much...(i know its arent easy, but i make it easy so its not sound complicated)

relationship now is sounded so much different, i cant understand myself either who and how i wanted it to be, but with FWB, i dun need to bother about, do i really gotta sacrafice a friendship to get a relationship(as when we confess, we tend to get rejected forever when she says the word "NO")

just my unworthy comment,

hope not offended any1 here.

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Oh i see.. well you have to believe! There is NO perfect girl out there for you. But I'm sure there will be one that makes you happy every day, supports you in everyway, loves you for you, and would commit to a long term future with you. To some, this in itself is perfect already.

If you bother with FWB so much what if you're wasting time and missed opportunities to find that girl? :D

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Oh i see.. well you have to believe! There is NO perfect girl out there for you. But I'm sure there will be one that makes you happy every day, supports you in everyway, loves you for you, and would commit to a long term future with you. To some, this in itself is perfect already.

If you bother with FWB so much what if you're wasting time and missed opportunities to find that girl? :D

heh, dotti,

as what all people says, if that comes, it comes, if not, u cant force for it,

rather den let myself do the finding, lets wait the blue moon comes out instead,

as looking = Desperate = wanted a resolution

i rather have a really best friend to stay together along, maybe not tat much of intimacy

requirement, but i do agree to have around 1 fake couples to stay along, enjoying each other's

life until we are occupied by some1 else, or we occupied each other after we sparks along.

who doesnt want a girl who will love me and how i am,

need me more den herself, willing to give me everything more than myself,

give birth for your children, taking care us always, entertained easily in many

different way, stylish, lively, motherly and are some1 that much more

than what your mother could give, your daughter could give, and yourself could expect.

imagine how much i could make myself understand my future coming girl eventhough

i cant see some 1 to hooked up with, i'm always on my step to being a better guy

before she hooked with me, waste my time ? no, im upgrading when she is still snorkeling

around to found her perfect coral(Me)

^_^^_^^_^

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lol i see, quite ok to accept it, depend on the situation and your partners lo,

as for myself,

FWB which include sex, staying together, eat, sleep, along with other stuff together but maintain friends,

is still acceptable,

i do have a thinking where,

We stay together(i tidy her house, cook, and we pay together to stay along)

We Have the fun together (in regarding of intimacy, or whatever)

We Respect each other(she have her free time n bf, i have my blind dates n dinner)

We Help Each Other(i could give mans advise, she can fulfill my needs)

We Wont Be Together(remain FWB until either she got one or myself, unless fire sparks between us)

cause i really dont believe in relationship already, been fooled, tricked, played, rejected hard for thrice,

felt all this sudden or feelings are merely for a word, blind love, its like playing big or small game, where

you might win or lose, but i;m bad luck so its losing so much...(i know its arent easy, but i make it easy so its not sound complicated)

relationship now is sounded so much different, i cant understand myself either who and how i wanted it to be, but with FWB, i dun need to bother about, do i really gotta sacrafice a friendship to get a relationship(as when we confess, we tend to get rejected forever when she says the word "NO")

just my unworthy comment,

hope not offended any1 here.

you might get wrong with that.. friend with benefit is better to just remain sex relation.. just like sex friend.. sex connect both together.. can't have fun together ...

thats why friend with benefit usually don't gather and have fun together in group.. maybe just two of u .. they usually don't have mutual friend

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you might get wrong with that.. friend with benefit is better to just remain sex relation.. just like sex friend.. sex connect both together.. can't have fun together ...

thats why friend with benefit usually don't gather and have fun together in group.. maybe just two of u .. they usually don't have mutual friend

dear drew,

there is no description for a FWB, like wat you explain, and how i understand it is completely different.

if you are mentioning something like that, you are far far wrong from understanding the FWB concept.

who says FWB are only connected with intimacy ? you ? my term are different, read carefully and try notice the difference.

if you cant, i'll explain it in next reply.

TQ and no offense, your word just accidently caught-up my attention

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"are you free you tonight ? "

thats how we asked each other out.

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dear drew,

there is no description for a FWB, like wat you explain, and how i understand it is completely different.

if you are mentioning something like that, you are far far wrong from understanding the FWB concept.

who says FWB are only connected with intimacy ? you ? my term are different, read carefully and try notice the difference.

if you cant, i'll explain it in next reply.

TQ and no offense, your word just accidently caught-up my attention

Related terms are friends with benefits and love buddies.

To the extent such relationship include casual sexual contact, the relationship is generally focused on fulfilling sexual rather than romantic or emotional needs.

Motives for casual relationships vary, and should be distinguished from casual sex, which is a specific type of casual relationship. Casual relationships sometimes include mutual support, affection and enjoyment, which underpin other forms of loving relationship.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casual_relationship

I got to say that somehow Drew is correct in a way (not wholly). Anyway, there is no specific explanation on FWB definitions yet but there are generally quite similiar with these.

And somehow I felt from the way you view how FWB is supposed to be, for me its more than just merely FWB. I somehow have the feeling there is at least a little emotional commitment there. And of coz there is definitely fun in it, not to say like wat Drew said, there is no fun at all. But at the end of the day, you guys just go your separate ways. I may be getting the wrong idea from your post and pardon me if I do. And feel free to correct me. No hard feelings here, just my opinion :wink3:

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Related terms are friends with benefits and love buddies.

To the extent such relationship include casual sexual contact, the relationship is generally focused on fulfilling sexual rather than romantic or emotional needs.

Motives for casual relationships vary, and should be distinguished from casual sex, which is a specific type of casual relationship. Casual relationships sometimes include mutual support, affection and enjoyment, which underpin other forms of loving relationship.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casual_relationship

I got to say that somehow Drew is correct in a way (not wholly). Anyway, there is no specific explanation on FWB definitions yet but there are generally quite similiar with these.

And somehow I felt from the way you view how FWB is supposed to be, for me its more than just merely FWB. I somehow have the feeling there is at least a little emotional commitment there. And of coz there is definitely fun in it, not to say like wat Drew said, there is no fun at all. But at the end of the day, you guys just go your separate ways. I may be getting the wrong idea from your post and pardon me if I do. And feel free to correct me. No hard feelings here, just my opinion :wink3:

Well no worry, you got no mistake, but instead of trusting the defination a public created, and trust tat for you whole life, i felt tat is totally a very wrong wrong part, FWB doesnt means to be explained, stress-for-the-meaning just by a wikipedia, where the reality of it might be different for every1,

i just mention my view on tat part, and how i accept it, there is no right or wrong answer for you guys. only how we accept the word, the meaning, and the results.

make it like a case study here,

You got problem with collegues in work place,

You make yourself accepting all the problem,

your problem gotten serious quite alot,

you cant control all included yourself,

and you intend to complain to HR,

but your friend says, HR wont listen to u,

so is tat means u gotta leave cause u cant solve, or u hard-on-hard fight with your collegue ?

or else,

listen wat your friend says and accept the truth ?

convert: Problem = FWB partners , HR = Wiki , Collegue = people who disagree , Friends = Information

you get wat i means now ? i try myself dont agree fully to the thing before i fully tasted it, experience it, and get the real idea on what it is. that how i proof myself alive, rather den follow people's word, are you robot and controlable ppl ? we are our own, if we work, we love, we had intimacy, we enjoy, its all ourself will, not because something so we did it. rite ?

i starting to become philosopher liao....

sorry for being so story-telling...

^_^

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Well no worry, you got no mistake, but instead of trusting the defination a public created, and trust tat for you whole life, i felt tat is totally a very wrong wrong part, FWB doesnt means to be explained, stress-for-the-meaning just by a wikipedia, where the reality of it might be different for every1,

i just mention my view on tat part, and how i accept it, there is no right or wrong answer for you guys. only how we accept the word, the meaning, and the results.

make it like a case study here,

You got problem with collegues in work place,

You make yourself accepting all the problem,

your problem gotten serious quite alot,

you cant control all included yourself,

and you intend to complain to HR,

but your friend says, HR wont listen to u,

so is tat means u gotta leave cause u cant solve, or u hard-on-hard fight with your collegue ?

or else,

listen wat your friend says and accept the truth ?

convert: Problem = FWB partners , HR = Wiki , Collegue = people who disagree , Friends = Information

you get wat i means now ? i try myself dont agree fully to the thing before i fully tasted it, experience it, and get the real idea on what it is. that how i proof myself alive, rather den follow people's word, are you robot and controlable ppl ? we are our own, if we work, we love, we had intimacy, we enjoy, its all ourself will, not because something so we did it. rite ?

i starting to become philosopher liao....

sorry for being so story-telling...

^_^

I undestand where are you coming from. In a way, you're trying to say that there is no black and white explanation for every single thing in this world right? There are bound to be given some slack in between and should be given allowance. I quite agree with you on these but not totally. A lot of issues, explanations are there to what certain terms are but you are free to explore and translate the meaning or even have your own opinion on it. But isnt that in a way, that you're going out of track? Meaning your view and opinion makes it a totally new different term already. Not from the exact same one where everybody sees it. Example for this case, what you view as FWB might not really be FWB from your point of view. That can be called (just example only) a very laidback and casual relationship. It isnt called FWB anymore. I hope you're getting what Im trying to convey.

To give you some allowance on this case though, since wiki also stated there is no single black and white explanation on this FWB phrase, it might be possible and bended in quite a vast way of thinking. So your view on this issue can be acceptable, since this is the way you see it. But others are entitled to their own view too. So yeah, I guess this issue is sorted out. Thanks for your preaching, you certainly have your own thinking and you stand by it :)

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"are you free you tonight ? "

i like this opening line! it's darn ol' skool!! :P

lilboy7, way to go!!

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FWB all is still depends on what one thinks of it. for me the term can be meant as, friends with sexual intimacy but it can also be meant as friends who just wanna be with each other like in a relationship albeit both of them has their own relationship.

personally i think in MYS you can find this kinda people, just that they are not going to openly says, they are the FWB's club member. in a way, FWB is good for everyone who wanted to be felt in a relationship but not really want to commit to one another. say, if i am not ready to commit myself in a relatioship and i prefer staying single, i wouldn't mind to have a FWB whom we can do whatever we want together but we don't have to answer to each other.

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I undestand where are you coming from. In a way, you're trying to say that there is no black and white explanation for every single thing in this world right? There are bound to be given some slack in between and should be given allowance. I quite agree with you on these but not totally. A lot of issues, explanations are there to what certain terms are but you are free to explore and translate the meaning or even have your own opinion on it. But isnt that in a way, that you're going out of track? Meaning your view and opinion makes it a totally new different term already. Not from the exact same one where everybody sees it. Example for this case, what you view as FWB might not really be FWB from your point of view. That can be called (just example only) a very laidback and casual relationship. It isnt called FWB anymore. I hope you're getting what Im trying to convey.

To give you some allowance on this case though, since wiki also stated there is no single black and white explanation on this FWB phrase, it might be possible and bended in quite a vast way of thinking. So your view on this issue can be acceptable, since this is the way you see it. But others are entitled to their own view too. So yeah, I guess this issue is sorted out. Thanks for your preaching, you certainly have your own thinking and you stand by it :)

well, a common answer usually found everywhere, but when its come to personally, i usually make an own explaination for the term i understand tat, yeah maybe its out of public term but it how i answer myself when its comes to FWB,i common-ized my answer, added with my own word of understanding to make the explaination my own, not by somebody else, not by so called real facts.

btw, carol,

can i say that, you got some similiarity thinking as i does ?

^_^

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lol YungSernLang! i would say great minds think alike. haa haa..

just joking. it's more like we share the similiar concept in this topic!

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WoW!! call me ignorant!! this is a new term to me! Never knew it exists.. I mean was only recently exposed to terms like sex club and all (thanx to the recent movie staring Hugh Jackman.. whatz the name?.. Deception ).

Makes me wonder if 'arrangements' like this is only meant for batchelors or do married people indulge into activities like this too?.. do share me your thoughts on this, pls.. :D

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Makes me wonder if 'arrangements' like this is only meant for batchelors or do married people indulge into activities like this too?.. do share me your thoughts on this, pls.. :D

IMO, it cant really be "arranged". It's something like a ONS. It just comes and go. You get the feel and you hit it off just right there, and without you realizing.

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IMO, it cant really be "arranged". It's something like a ONS. It just comes and go. You get the feel and you hit it off just right there, and without you realizing.

Well, it has to start somewhere first, right?.. after that it would be an arrangement.. like what lilboy7 suggested ' Are you free tonite?' What i do wonder is if married couples do indulge in FWB or the likes.. I have read that there are couples who go round looking for a change in partners, but FWB is a new concept to me here.. :P

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Well, it has to start somewhere first, right?.. after that it would be an arrangement.. like what lilboy7 suggested ' Are you free tonite?' What i do wonder is if married couples do indulge in FWB or the likes.. I have read that there are couples who go round looking for a change in partners, but FWB is a new concept to me here.. :P

I think, most of the time, you might be able to get it started at the clubs or through some introduction from friends.

for married couples, it's called swinging. I'm not married, but i was once invited (and i went) to a swingers gathering at one of hotels in KL City. It was like a penthouse where we would break the ice in the living hall and each couple together with their respective partners would proceed to the room and thats really how it begins. I did not participate. I just went there out of curiosity :P .

For swingers party, it is rather exclusive, though. For every new guest that a member brings, he/she actually needs to get the approval of ALL or most of the other members in the swinging circle. Thats really how it goes.

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Hahah AnnieC, was it Eastin hotel? I was invited too but those kinda gigs aren't exactly my cuppa tea. Would have trouble keeping a straight face seeing so many sausages haha. Anyway, I heard Eastin was the hangout for this back in the days. I dunno what kinda stuff they do now but I'm sure these things still happens. And I also heard swingers clubs are usually old men....ewwwwwww...how was the experience for you? :)

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