Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
babybb

~ My BF waNNa BraKe uP WiTh mE ~

Recommended Posts

Hi..everyone.. it's me again.. I'm sure some member if u reply my post before then u would noe who am i.. The 1 that always got problem in relationship.. yes tats me.. Please do forgive me for the poor english & grammar mistake as my story would be quite long. My bf of 4yrs wanna brake up with me cos i lie him. I'm not cheating on him or do anything wrong toward him. Ok here my story..

i'm working in a very small company with just an admin clerk (ME) & a service techinian (MY COLLUEGE).. My HQ is base at s'pore so my boss is not around always. All the time just me & my colluege. My bf knew about it he is quite a jealous type but i can guarantee i hv nth with my colluege. He always ask me about my colluege making sure he doesnt moleste me or taking advantage on me. He always call me from time to time just to check what i'm doing in the office.. what my colluege doing in the office.. This made me felt sad as he was not trusted me. One day i was working OT in my office until 7pm.

He called me & ask me "wut am i doing at the office at such a late hour?" So i was just honestly told him that i was working OT at the office & he ask me is my colluege work togather with me & i said NO. He dint believe me.. He kept on saying that i cheat him.. i betray him.. That is not true. He said to me that "1gal & 1guy at the office alone just chatting so simple?? U tink i'll so stupid to believe what you hv said??"

I kept on saying i have nothing with my colleuege & we dont even have lunch togather before but he dont believe me. He said if i telling him the true then he will stop the arguiement & forgive me so i took a risk & i lie him pretend that i got flirt with my colluege to stop the arguement & settle everything. He do forgive me after that but half an hour later he called me suggested for a break up.. he told me i lie him so many things that he already lost trust on me & he say sum thing that reli hurt me alot. He said he didnt believe that i was just flirt with my colluege so simple. There must be another more than that.

He just like saying me i was like a hooker or sum thing the fact is i dun even flirt wit my colluege its jus a lie to get ok back with my bf..i noe its my fault for lying him that i got but if i not do so he woulnt believe me. Now he didnt even bother to reply my msg or call.. After 4yrs togather he said he edi give up on me. i hurt him so much. Guys & Gals wut shud i do?? Its my fault i noe i shoulnt took the risk.

Guys & gals a little updated at here:

I can't stand his attitude anymore & i cant seem to see any future with this guys. This guy is torturing me with those kind of sms said i dare to do it but not dare to admit it & when i suggested for a brake up he said now he wont brake up with me coz he wanna torture me until i crazy.. He'll send sms disturb me..call my hse to disturb me.. I so scare.. everytime when i received a sms my heart beat very fast.. i scare was him.. He said he juz wanna noe the true .. if he noe den he'll stop disturb me but as long as no true den he will continue like tat.. he said he wanna win

I'm not sure wut he mean by the meaning of "win" but it made me very scare.. he not my bf.. my previous bf wont like tat 1.. he like changing to another ppl..

Edited by babybb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You should stick with your the truth.

If you didn't do anything then stand firm with it that you didn't do anything.

What should you do? Loads of things actually... if it were me...

Tell him, "Thank you for trying to be there for you for this past 4 years and that you have been faithful and always loved him. " then ask him if this is what he really wants. If it is what he wants then say good bye for he probably doesn't deserve you or he has found someone new and just using it as an excuse.

Then move on with your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's either your bf is crazily possesive or he has found someone else and is just trying to find an easier way to break off with you. Come on, just stick to the truth if you're innocent. If the guy doesn't even trust you then do you honestly think this r/ship is worth pursuing? Imagine him and his possesiveness in the future, reckon you can deal with that day in and out? Think about it. Move on if you can or have a proper talk to your bf and see where it leads.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont see any point in continuing this r/s. and i don't see that its your fault either. why torture yourself? why continue with an idiot who don't even respect you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your bf is possessive, jealous type and lack of self confidence. No matter what you do, he won’t trust you, doubt you will happy with him. You are either have to put up with his behaviour or have someone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not your fault. I have a relationship like this b4 for 5 years dating, then broke up as someone gave me flowers and chocolates everyday. Sometimes love a person too much will cause all those problems, some even worst. I think your bf is one of them. Think twice, if you really wanna be with him, do sit down calmly and talk. If still cant, then dont force. good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I kept on saying i have nothing with my colleuege & we dont even have lunch togather before but he dont believe me. He said if i telling him the true then he will stop the arguiement & forgive me so i took a risk & i lie him pretend that i got flirt with my colluege to stop the arguement & settle everything. He do forgive me after that but half an hour later he called me suggested for a break up.. he told me i lie him so many things that he already lost trust on me & he say sum thing that reli hurt me alot. He said he didnt believe that i was just flirt with my colluege so simple. There must be another more than that.

Okay, first of all, lying to him was a mistake.

But on the other hand, that was exactly what he wanted you to say. What he did was cheap, dishonest, manipulative, and despicable. He bullied you into giving him an excuse to dump you and make you feel guilty, when you have nothing to be guilty of. This is very very very much NOT the kind of treatment you should accept from anyone, much less someone you love.

He just like saying me i was like a hooker or sum thing the fact is i dun even flirt wit my colluege its jus a lie to get ok back with my bf..i noe its my fault for lying him that i got but if i not do so he woulnt believe me. Now he didnt even bother to reply my msg or call.. After 4yrs togather he said he edi give up on me. i hurt him so much. Guys & Gals wut shud i do?? Its my fault i noe i shoulnt took the risk.

He called you a hooker, and you think you hurt him?

Here's what I think you should do: Go see him. Don't call him on the phone - go to him. And then give him TWO TIGHT SLAPS. If you do it in front of his friends or family, even better. Tell him you are not stupid, you are not weak, and if he's going to treat you like you are then you will make. Him. SUFFER.

Either that, or you could just forget him and move on with you life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the most difficult challenges in our loving relationship is handling differences and disagreements. Often when couples disagree their discussion can turn into arguments and then without much warning into battles. Suddenly both of you stop talking in a loving manner and automatically begin hurting each other: blaming, complaining, accusing, demanding, resenting and doubting.

Men and women arguing in this way hurt not only their feeling but also the relationship. Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element, because the closer we are to someone, the easier it is to bruise or be bruised.

That's why you in that situation now where it's heading towards destructive path. Since this had already happen, what if you two decide to continue this relationship? How hurt can hurt be? Worst perhaps? End up suicide?

After 4 years of relationship, and YET he still doesn't understands and trust you. What else could go wrong if this relationship continues? Are you able to picture what's gonna happen next in the future?

What exactly do you really sees in him right now at this moment? I'm sure it's not what you saw when the first time you both met.

Think about this rational, thus make a decision for yourselves.

The choice is in your hand. Let it go or keep on holding on to it.

=]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

childish and insecure guy, if you think he can change for the better no harm giving him a chance.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ya... a lil immature.

but I think u shud stick with ur truth. just tell him wht u're telling us now. :)

and think, whether he's really the one worthing all ur effort here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

sorry to hear ur story. im a new guy here.

i have a similar case with u. is that i give my ex-gf too much freedom to do what she like n 1 day i caught her having an affair. she tell me to trust her. few month later, she say she wanna to break up with me (6 yrs relationship) for that guy. she tell me not to let my future gf to have so much freedom.

u understand what i mean? we stay very far from each other, only meet 1 once a month.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just dump the childish jerk. "win"? like primary school kids fighting for toys, if i don't get the toy, then rather break it than let other people have it? huh... such stupid guy... i hate stupid guys <_<

if he threaten you, file a police report, this is for your safety.

cheer up and move on with other good things in your life, it's not that you lost a 4 years relationship, the truth is after 4 years of humiliation you are finally free now!! :clapclap:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Poor girl, honestly i used to face the same dillema as urs, few years back. My ex did everything like wat u mentioned, I cant even looked at any guys nearby or to pat my guy fren's shoulders to say HI, and he will check my hp to see if i added new numbers of guy frens. he will browse thru' my hp to see each n every guy's name before after how i know each n every one of them. then he will delete most of the guys' numbers, if he felt threatened!!! i was so patient and put up with his behaviour till one day i exploded!!! i used to think tat, one day he will change and trust me, cos i noe, God knows, i did nothing wrong...he is based outstation and i was a uni student at tat time - he doesnt even trust me if i were to have discussion with my groupmates that involved giuys - thinking tat all men has motive!!! duh.......... I lost all my guy frens' contacts just for him....

the morale of this story is: no matter how much u love a partner, it is just ur problem. when someone comes into ur life, he or she must be able to be there when u need him/her, and give u happiness, not pressure. Both must always need to work things out (not to say the word "break up" easily when there is any complication) till the end of the day for a better future for both of u.....

if he doesn't trust u now, how do u expect him to trust u later? dun tell me tat he will lock u in the house so tat u dun nid to meet any guys? be relistic, we are all living in the world with men. this world doesn't only evolve around him. there are zillions of men out there, unless u wanna find to stay or work at a place with ONLY women around?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guys & gals a little updated at here:

I can't stand his attitude anymore & i cant seem to see any future with this guys. This guy is torturing me with those kind of sms said i dare to do it but not dare to admit it & when i suggested for a brake up he said now he wont brake up with me coz he wanna torture me until i crazy.. He'll send sms disturb me..call my hse to disturb me.. I so scare.. everytime when i received a sms my heart beat very fast.. i scare was him.. He said he juz wanna noe the true .. if he noe den he'll stop disturb me but as long as no true den he will continue like tat.. he said he wanna win

I'm not sure wut he mean by the meaning of "win" but it made me very scare.. he not my bf.. my previous bf wont like tat 1.. he like changing to another ppl..

I think he's trying to dominate you again. I'm quite sure that he knows that you will not be the one to have the guts to break up with him.

Just give tell him straight if you really want to break. Don't just suggest. Do it. Then, ignore all his calls. He will get over you soon enough.

Don't get scared coz of some loser guy. You dun need o be scared coz you did nothing wrong =)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guys & gals a little updated at here:

I can't stand his attitude anymore & i cant seem to see any future with this guys. This guy is torturing me with those kind of sms said i dare to do it but not dare to admit it & when i suggested for a brake up he said now he wont brake up with me coz he wanna torture me until i crazy.. He'll send sms disturb me..call my hse to disturb me.. I so scare.. everytime when i received a sms my heart beat very fast.. i scare was him.. He said he juz wanna noe the true .. if he noe den he'll stop disturb me but as long as no true den he will continue like tat.. he said he wanna win

I'm not sure wut he mean by the meaning of "win" but it made me very scare.. he not my bf.. my previous bf wont like tat 1.. he like changing to another ppl..

Well, there's his true colours right there.

First thing you need to do is ignore him. Do not SMS him back, do not call him, do not see him. Forget about him completely. He is nothing more than a mistake you made, and now you need to put it behind you. Give it a few days, and hopefully he'll give up eventually.

But if he doesn't, then you could use a bit of help. Get a guy friend or male family member to call him and tell him off. No, it doesn't have to turn violent, they don't have to meet and fight - you just need somebody who can intimidate him over the phone into giving up on you. Ask the "roughest" person you know for help.

You need to understand that his problem is not that he's possessive. Possessiveness is rooted in insecurity, the fear that he is not good enough for you. His problem is that he is dominating. He thinks of you as a thing that he owns and controls. When he says "win", that's very telling as to what kind of person he is. He probably thinks of all this as some kind of drama show where he is the hero and you are the evil bitch who cheated on him and broke his heart. Yes, there are people who behave like that. Now you know a bit better how to avoid them. :wink3:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi,

sorry to hear ur story. im a new guy here.

i have a similar case with u. is that i give my ex-gf too much freedom to do what she like n 1 day i caught her having an affair. she tell me to trust her. few month later, she say she wanna to break up with me (6 yrs relationship) for that guy. she tell me not to let my future gf to have so much freedom.

u understand what i mean? we stay very far from each other, only meet 1 once a month.

If a couple don’t plan to settle down after 2 years, the chance of break off is high.

Curios to know, between two of you, who was the one refused to settle down after 6 years in relationship?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If a couple don’t plan to settle down after 2 years, the chance of break off is high.

Curios to know, between two of you, who was the one refused to settle down after 6 years in relationship?

This is a difficult issue.. On one hand, true.. if you don't plan to settle down with someone (both way mutual feeling) then don't continue further with the rship.

But on the other hand, it takes time to test out the rship to really know when to settle down. So some are willing to take time even when the decision has not been made yet.

But I say, 4 years tops.. should have a decision by then. 6 years is too long!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe not childish.. perhaps too paranoid? My BF is very protective over me too.. after a few years I've realized that some men show their love in different ways and sometimes the way they handle situations doesn't make sense.

Who knows there's some truth in the matter, he's jealous that you spend most of your time with your colleague rather than him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...