should i go out with him??

[babykittiez 0]

i have a bf right now and he's been asking me out for this coming saturday, jus an appreciation for each other for our r/s reaching two months.

but i don't feel like going out with him cuz i feel its not necessary plus we have been meeting each other almost everyday.

so then i told him i don't really feel like going out cuz i don't wan my heart to run any wilder cuz too much going out would affect my studies.

So then he agree.

then later on, a male friend of mine ask me out for this satuday again.

FYI, he is the one i use to set my eyes on but it isn't the same way for him. after i get over him, me N my current bf kinda get hook up n we got together.

so the main point is,

i feel like going with my male friend instead of my bf. is there something wrong with me??

i kinda feel like going out with my male friend. i'm not sure why cuz if its my best friend ask me out i would say no too.

is my heart shaking again??

i'm so confuse right now.

and to be honest, i don't really wan my male friend to know that i have a bf already..

do you guys think that i'm not completely over him yet??

sometimes when i quarell with my bf, i would compare my bf with this male friend in my heart.

at first i think its normal since that guy is my ideal bf.

but later i kinda feel suspicious with my mind.

any comments in this??

[cr3aMreApEr 0]

wow.. are u sure ur heart is on ur bf but not that male fren? coz wat u said on top do seems like ur more fond for ur male fren

[babykittiez 0]

i'm confuse too.

but err, i didn't get too much in contact with my male friend already after i get over him.

Edited March 27, 2008 by babykittiez

[sonia chin 0]

i used to be in your shoes..kinda reminds of myself..you're so talking about me..

From what u said ,i don't think u really love your bf as much as he does.but u never did mentioned ,i don;t know whether u really do love him or it's just the sake of having a bf? .better think over it..you've been together for 2 months.Don't drag or waste your time if u don like him.. Do u wish to see your bf everyday? Do u miss him? or would u rather hangout with your friends? Ask yurself why u don't want your male friend to know abt you havin a bf?

I also think u shouldn't go out with your male friend as well but arrange another date with him..tell him this saturday u wanna study or watever and straight away arrange when you're next date with him is gonna be..You're bf is going to be pissed off if he plans to give u a suprise but you're not around..you'll end up with quarrles again and he''ll remember it for the rest of his life...and if u love him }you'll go: sorry dear..i love u so much bla bla bla..but there'll be a "thorn" between u and him..but if u don't love him: just say sayonara..I suppose you're still young...still have many to choose from..don't rush..

[babykittiez 0]

i used to be in your shoes..kinda reminds of myself..you're so talking about me..

From what u said ,i don't think u really love your bf as much as he does.but u never did mentioned ,i don;t know whether u really do love him or it's just the sake of having a bf? .better think over it..you've been together for 2 months.Don't drag or waste your time if u don like him.. Do u wish to see your bf everyday? Do u miss him? or would u rather hangout with your friends? Ask yurself why u don't want your male friend to know abt you havin a bf?

I also think u shouldn't go out with your male friend as well but arrange another date with him..tell him this saturday u wanna study or watever and straight away arrange when you're next date with him is gonna be..You're bf is going to be pissed off if he plans to give u a suprise but you're not around..you'll end up with quarrles again and he''ll remember it for the rest of his life...and if u love him }you'll go: sorry dear..i love u so much bla bla bla..but there'll be a "thorn" between u and him..but if u don't love him: just say sayonara..I suppose you're still young...still have many to choose from..don't rush..

cuz somehow in my heart i still hope that guy would have that kinda feelings for me.. but i know its impossible..yet i hope..

but i will never hope my bf leave me too..

maybe i need time to think this over again..

[Sam 0]

You want that male friend more than you current bf.

Perhaps, you just want him more because you can't have him since day 1 you set your eyes on him.

Ppl tend to get greedy/regret for something/someone they never have it/he/she for themselves.

[Cas 0]

Agree with Sam. You just want to go out wit him coz you were interested in him at first and you probably want to see where this leads or you're at least a bit curious. The human heart is always curious with what it can't get. Don’t even bother babe coz he’s made it clear that he’s not interested. And do appreciate your bf asking you out to celebrate your two months anniversary! it's so sweet. and pls don't compare your male friend with your bf coz you really don't know what he's really like. give your man a chance.

[babykittiez 0]

but the thing is, i can't stop myself from having this little weird feelings for this male fren.

and i agree about what sam said.

maybe i just get greedy or regret or whatsoever..

so what should i do??..

things always goes out of control when my male fren get in contact with me.

yes, i admit i have a small part of myself that really hope that he will set his eyes on me.

but whether i truly like him as my bf or not, i don't dare to make any comments about that.

cuz i really appreciate my current bf who is so sweet N caring to my everything.

but anyway i'm planning to cancel both outing since i'm busy with my assignment.

but again, how to solve the knot in my heart??

[millie 0]

Well babykittiez, I'd say GO AHEAD. Go out with that male friend of yours and see how thing works from there. If you dont, you might regret it and left wondering your whole life with the WHAT-IFS question. Try to get things clear. Maybe, you'll find out that you dont fancy him that much after all. Pick some other day to go out. After all, there is no harm going out like an innocent date right. Yeah, sad to say it but humans are all fool in love. The one you love most would not necessarily be the one you spend your life with.

[millie 0]

wow.. are u sure ur heart is on ur bf but not that male fren? coz wat u said on top do seems like ur more fond for ur male fren

Yeah, it seems that your heart is already set on that guy dear. Plus, if you've already made up your mind to go out with him Im sure even if we point a gun at your head you would change your mind. Metaphorically speaking

[babykittiez 0]

Yeah, it seems that your heart is already set on that guy dear. Plus, if you've already made up your mind to go out with him Im sure even if we point a gun at your head you would change your mind. Metaphorically speaking

i don't know. i have already cancel both outings cuz i have an assignment to finish.

well, i do hope the puzzles in my heart would solve asap cuz any longer i delay, it would be bad right?

[millie 0]

i don't know. i have already cancel both outings cuz i have an assignment to finish.

well, i do hope the puzzles in my heart would solve asap cuz any longer i delay, it would be bad right?

Yeah, the longer you drag it, the worse you'll feel. Dont we always want to solve the puzzle in our heart? If only we can open up our heart, look into it and ask what it want us to do. Anyway, I hope you know what to do soon. And do cheer up, Im sure there's always people for you to talk to if you ever needed one

[mandyherlove 0]

cuz i really appreciate my current bf who is so sweet N caring to my everything.

This reason is good enough to lock your focus on your current partner. 2 months is not long but it means alot to him who may have experience wonderful moments with you. Hence, don't let curiosity jeopardize the building blocks of a beautiful relationship.

Yeap, you may be young and thus have the tendency to look for choices (that's why your heart is restless), but bear in mind though, before searching for alternatives, give in your best in all current choices so that if things really fail, you fail without regret. It is then that you will be more affirm of your next choice.

Mistakes happen all the time in life, but lets make sure it is not a silly one

[pamster 0]

the good news is, is that you're not in love with your male friend!

you're just in love with the IDEA of what he could be in your life.

this saturday, you just need to stay home, keep yourself busy. do work, clean house, study, finish off assignments... that is to avoid picking between two guys hence avoiding more drama.

set another date to go out with the friend, let your bf know that you're meeting up with your friend too. don't betray his trust.

during the outing, see if you have any sparks and if he's interested in you. and yes, you have to tell him you have a bf. my reasoning for you to go out with him is is that you may realise during the outing that he's actually not the dream guy you thought he was initially (and hence be more attracted to your bf!). otherwise, if you really are attracted to this male friend, then it's time to assess your relationship with your bf. better end it 2 months instead of 2 years down the road, eh?

[lipice 0]

Hmmm...think carefully of who you want to be....good luck

[Joukowski 0]

Hey, your other male friend just asked you out... nothing serious. You've already told your bf you don't want to go out with him so that's the end of that story, unless you want to change you mind with time don't think about it over and over again because it gets your mind occupied with stuff which are not helpful.

If you wanna go out with this other guys, then go out with him. Just get an idea of what you bf is doing today and plan it so you and the other guy is in another part of town..... cause let me tell you it's gonna be awkward if you 3 bump into each other.

Be yourself and dont worry, you and your bf don't own each other yet - when you guys do, then you're chained together in what's called a marriage. It's also perfectly ok for you to play hard to get with the bf.... & may I also suggest you excercise this grace & sophistication now and again (playing hard to get) ..... Have fun this weekend and good luck.

[babykittiez 0]

i told my male fren that i will go out with him the nex time,

meaning that i will call him up when i'm free.

somehow i feel the problem would comes again when we're going to go out with each other.

i do play hard to get with my bf. just now sure is it the rite way, =P

right now i'm going tru a wonderful relationship with my bf and i feel happy about it.

he do aware of that male fren and another male one who he said they are actually courting me.

i assure him that they're not but anyway, he said dey're his love enemy, LOL.

i feel as long as my bf din feel upset about that den i think its okay, right??

but somehow the puzzles must be solved or i won't feel peace about my relationship with my bf or him either.

so what should i do now??

[Joukowski 0]

sounds like you need some closure. If it makes you feel better, tell yourself that you're just friends with this other guy and you can meet up and have a conversaiton like friends. no feelings or anything.

Then tell yourself your bf is the guy you'd like to get serious with and make a commitment to your self.

Maybe that'll help. You're not married to your bf yet so can't expect you guys to act like you both are.

[babykittiez 0]

i hope that would works..

cuz i'm actually think that i still have the rite to choose..

although that would hurt my bf much..

if i found out that i still have a lil feelings for my male fren, but most of my heart face to my bf,

wad should i do?

[greekgod 0]

babykittiez

ugh... i have a feeling you are getting bored being around with your bf since u says u met him everyday... hey... u eat ice cream everyday you will get bored too... so when another guy invite u out... u juz wanted some changes...

hey... u got girlfriends rite?? go out with them 4 times a month or so... mebbe make it 2 times a week since u r a student and u have plenty of time...

mebbe its time to u know have a break or something... juz some changes in life would spice it up a little...

meeting someone everyday is not really a good thing... u will get bored with him real fast... cos... there is nothing to look forward to anymore except more of his talks and hugs and watever he do to you every meeting

[babykittiez 0]

yea,..that could be the cause of it too.

anyway i feel its useless that i think about it anymore.

i think i will just go with the flow and see what happen next.

[babykittiez 0]

[continuation from the above story]

4 months plus with my bf and i have been hurting him again and again..

there's times that we argue and i'm the one who simply sayin let's break up..

and in the end, its me who decide wanna get back again..

this problem arise again..

u see..

i went out with my male friend last few days..

we met in a cafe and i actually feel nervous in front of him,

till i don sit well eat well..

i feel uneasy..

i feel i have to be the 'near perferct girl' in front of him..

during our talk, he said christian are much encouraged to choose partners which are also a christian..

you see..he's a christian and i'm buddhist..

so when i heard that, i kinda feel disappointed..

to be honest, my heart was thinking, oh, so i doesn't stand a chance to be like/love by him??

so yesterday i talk to my friends about this..

and they said i still haven got over this male friend yet..

i don't know why i feel happy..

its weird..

i wonder why..

so later i think and think again..

and my friends said its okay to confess to him again...

but, the thing is, i already confessed to him once and he rejected me due to his spm ( he said he doesn't wanna step into relationship in his spm year )

so now.. although i have a bf..

i still feel something for him..

but at the same time.. me and my bf.. isn't going tru a good time at all..

my feelings for him grew lesser and leser..

i'm got a feel i just waiting for him to say the words..

babes and guys..

i know i'm kinda bad..

but i can't control my heart..my feelings..

what should i do noW??

[mixelle 0]

you just have to seriously evaluate your feelings. about you feeling like you have to be the 'near perfect girl'' in front of him, you have to think about why you want to impress him so much. sometimes, its just so that he will have a good impression of you. yet, love is not just about loving the good things of another, but about accepting the flaws too. if you keep up this facade, he might fall for the image you portray in front of him, but what happens when he finds out about your flaws?

since you knew him from before, you should be comfortable around him already. yet, you are being nervous. this usually happens when we initially meet someone or when the feelings are on a crush level. perhaps him asking you out again has reignite your crush on him, but think carefully about it before you make your move. is this crush more precious to you than what you have with your boyfriend?

this may be just an infatuation. you may be dreaming about how its like to be with him, someone you liked before but didnt manage to get. the problems with your boyfriend may be driving you to think of him more, unconsciously putting him in a better light. moreover, this thing with him might have also contributed to the problems with your boyfriend. do you find yourself mentally comparing the two of them?

you'll find that i used a lot of 'may's and 'might's. this is because i dont know the whole story, and i do not have the same feelings as you. but love is different to all of us, and sometimes, we need to discover this by trial and error. if you really want to remain neutral, you can continue a friendship with your friend, while you can either resolve your problems with your boyfriend or take a break from the relationship. this is just one of many solutions however. its all up to you. all the best =) hope you make the decision which makes you the happiest

[lilboy7 0]

Dear TS,

From beginning until now, all your concern is about the other guy. Had your ever thought of your current boyfriend feeling ? Regarding your situation, I had this experience before. In the end I choose to drop the relationship and stay single for some time. Actually, you got no problem. Every person want the best for themself, but how to get the best and reduce the damage to the lowest, thats the most headache.

Anyway, if you see no future between you and your boyfriend I think you should voice out your thought. You keep to much for yourself. Is not healthy.