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Cantopig

What will you do if you love your best friend?

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But if the one u love is quite close to you. But you are not the only one, but close to many also.

And you are really really not so sure that the one u love hv the same feelings like you or not?

But most probably is not....

And I quite scared after confess, will end up with no friends anymore..

*confused :( *

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If it’s me I’ll hint to see if there’s any response. If none, I’ll just forget about it coz if he doesn’t feel the same way then it would just make our friendship very very awkward.

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Confession seems to me too confrontational & direct for you, because you would have done it already & won't be asking. I think Cas & jose approach of signalling, dropping hints and clues are more to your creative charm & personality.

Invite him out & get some 1 on 1 time together. Chill out, be yourself and have heaps of fun. After the second outing he should have a pretty good idea what's going on. Most guys would be flattered & be interested as well. I would say the first one of you girls who would do this will carry the day. No words should be necessary but just in case he doesn't get it after the 3rd outing you invite him, casually mention to him that the guys normallys pays for the date. or thank him for picking up the tab for the date, next one is on you or something along those lines.....

Definitely signs are good, you want to be best friends first - & you already are - before becoming life partners. Good Luck.

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ohh goshh, having a secret crush on my bestie wud be de hardest thing ever!!!

hypothetically, this is what I shud do..

* take my time, won't tell him right away, gonna use subtle little hints of affection towards him (caution! don't drop hints too often, don't wanna be seen as too obvious)..

* observe carefully if he has de same feelings 4 me, study his body language & reactions everytime I drop him my hints, need 2 be careful not to coming out too suddenly/openly, don't want him to be shocked coz this cud ruin everything..

* when de time is right n' I have enuf confidence, I'll give it a shot..talk to him personally, face-to-face, not via text or email, try not to have this conversation in public, in case I might cry...definitely gonna cry lahh! :unsure::blush:

Frankly, knowing me, I'm sure am not gonna confess to him..

I'd rather lose a potential bf than my precious bestie..

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ohh goshh, having a secret crush on my bestie wud be de hardest thing ever!!!

hypothetically, this is what I shud do..

* take my time, won't tell him right away, gonna use subtle little hints of affection towards him (caution! don't drop hints too often, don't wanna be seen as too obvious)..

* observe carefully if he has de same feelings 4 me, study his body language & reactions everytime I drop him my hints, need 2 be careful not to coming out too suddenly/openly, don't want him to be shocked coz this cud ruin everything..

* when de time is right n' I have enuf confidence, I'll give it a shot..talk to him personally, face-to-face, not via text or email, try not to have this conversation in public, in case I might cry...definitely gonna cry lahh! :unsure::blush:

Frankly, knowing me, I'm sure am not gonna confess to him..

I'd rather lose a potential bf than my precious bestie..

Yea.. I think so.

I rather lose a potential bf than best fren..

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Confession seems to me too confrontational & direct for you, because you would have done it already & won't be asking. I think Cas & jose approach of signalling, dropping hints and clues are more to your creative charm & personality.

Invite him out & get some 1 on 1 time together. Chill out, be yourself and have heaps of fun. After the second outing he should have a pretty good idea what's going on. Most guys would be flattered & be interested as well. I would say the first one of you girls who would do this will carry the day. No words should be necessary but just in case he doesn't get it after the 3rd outing you invite him, casually mention to him that the guys normallys pays for the date. or thank him for picking up the tab for the date, next one is on you or something along those lines.....

Definitely signs are good, you want to be best friends first - & you already are - before becoming life partners. Good Luck.

Well, we'd went out 1 on 1 together but nothing happen. And just like a pair of good frend, best friend but doenst means other.

Hmmmm... But signalling, maybe I'll try this way, but dunno whether this will work or not. Because I think he will never expect this!! :P

But anyway, Thx for your suggestion. And Cas & jose ^^

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if i hav feel for him/her i sure will try to confess. For me, i hav few good friend where is really a good friend to me which i nvr think of having feeling on them. Maybe i or them already declare me as their "sister" or "brother". Hehe...anyway, good luck for u...all the best

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hey signalling is fairly effective and easy. Main thing is to say words that connect your hapiness with things you do & time you have together. "Thank you for that cup of coffee & the interesting story about.... " "...let me tell you how marvelours you've been to me today...." i've said this before, use longer sentences when you speak to him and speak slower. Remember, if you think a bit longer before you speak, he's not ever going to ask you to hurry up, so take you time. But don't use language that's not naturally you.

Do you think he looks forward to seeing you each time? If you think he maybe does, then he does - guys are pretty effective at acting like don't know (ie dumb), and that everything's normal. We don't wear our hearts on our sleeves but your first gut feeling of what hes thinking/feeling is usually the right one. I don't know how girls do it, but my wife's been really effective reading my thoughts ever since we knew each other.....

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Id do nothing... keep quiet and lose those feelings. Best friends are meant to be best friends and only best friends.

hai yah, why like that one? My wife became my best friend before we became room mates lar.

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why not give a try ????? she / he is ur best fren..... lucky not she / he is your partner best fren ........

Haha.. yaya lucky lucky.. if not i ll cry there.. :crybaby:

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hmm.. i also have such situation like now.. mine is that he is my colleague.. and i previously did not even notice him when he 1st joined the dept bt he always ask me to go for lunch, go home together (we take the lrt together mar).. bla bla bla.. then got quite close to him.. problem is i myself also dunno if its because i really like him or izzit because i liked his company..im nt so sure.. bt there are times that i really have this butterfly feel in my stomach when he held my hands .. cause we always play play de mar..

hmm.. he told me before that he felt for me, we use to sms each other during the weekends.. stuff like this makes u think we're both are quite close rite.. problem is, he asked my friend got any girls to intro to him o nt cause he is looking for a gf.. so i also feel weird.. i never said we can never get together bt then.. i remembered last time i jokingly asked him har u wanna start ar (referring to something else besides relationship lar).. then he took it as me asking "you wanna start a relatonship with me?"... then he said who knows, it might be you.. someday.. i didnt ans him and pretended to do my work..

bt sometimes i get quite angry when he asked me got any girls to intro to him o nt.. or ask my friend got any girls to intro to him o nt.. i also dunno y bt i feel that he is using me for the time being to "satisfy" his loneliness bt when he gets a gf then its like.. he will not be as close to me as now lar..

thing is, there are times that im lucky he's nt my special someone bt at times i really do wish that i have 1... another problem is that he is my colleague lar so if something bad happens, im afraid we wont be able to even talk in the office.. thats y i think nobody dares to make a move till now.. which i kinda feel.. really... sucky about..

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tell him 'indirectly' HAHAHA! but eventually you'd somehow spit it out sooner or later! u will feel sooo comfortable to actually be honest to him that is if he had the same thinking. don't lead him to the wrong way, i never wish any good friendship to an awkward one. don't let that fella move away from u. XD... in my situation, he's a very charming guy. we took it steadily and now we are still friends tho he's in canada and i'm in asia! =) its all good as long as u know the way to express it

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Hey yuri, what about doing things together outside work hours? you guys can stop by after work to brouse the supermarkets or just have a quiet meal before at the many stops of the lrt on the way home.

When he specifically asks you to intro him to any girls, he might be signalling he's interested in you lar? Kind of an annoying way for a signal I know, but what to do? So he's not perfect, & most guys aren't.

Maybe maybe next time he asks, you can invite him to consider a coffee together after work in order to discuss further his requirements of the type of girl he has in mind for you to introduce to him? does he like talkative type? outgoing or serious? long hair or short? strong willed & career minded type....etc? Look, plenty of questions you can ask him to keep him talking about himself for you to signal your interest because you ARE interest in his answers and how he thinks. You want him to talk about himself, what he see this world is getting up to... etc.

Have fun. Good luck.

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Hey yuri, what about doing things together outside work hours? you guys can stop by after work to brouse the supermarkets or just have a quiet meal before at the many stops of the lrt on the way home.

When he specifically asks you to intro him to any girls, he might be signalling he's interested in you lar? Kind of an annoying way for a signal I know, but what to do? So he's not perfect, & most guys aren't.

Maybe maybe next time he asks, you can invite him to consider a coffee together after work in order to discuss further his requirements of the type of girl he has in mind for you to introduce to him? does he like talkative type? outgoing or serious? long hair or short? strong willed & career minded type....etc? Look, plenty of questions you can ask him to keep him talking about himself for you to signal your interest because you ARE interest in his answers and how he thinks. You want him to talk about himself, what he see this world is getting up to... etc.

Have fun. Good luck.

oh jousowski, i have been going out as in outings with him and the rest of the ppl a couple of times d.. and i prefectly know what kinda girl he likes.. he kept saying that he jz wanted a simple, reliable gf lor.. to me, he can accept any normal/ordinary girl bt then he always says that no girls will take note of him..

another thing about him is that he also mentioned that he is too lazy to go kau girls cause he still cannot afford to spend lavishly on girls and he always thinks that girls are all materialistic which i somehow feel disgusted at his thoughts..

nonetheless, i can feel that he has something towards me as well bt i jz couldnt bring myself to make the 1st move... its too embarrasing

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hey good stuff, thats even better because he says

- likes ordinary girls but they don't take not of him ie. you're not ordinary and you've taken note of him.

- too lazy to kau girls ie. time spend with you is serious time for him.

- cannot afford to spend lavishly on girls ie. the truth, & saying he appreciates the time you 2 have together - taking lrt and spending good value & quality time in doing fun and affordable things together...etc.

- all girls are materialistic ie. he's not interested in anyone else because obvious you're not considered by him as materialistic.

re: making the first move - that's already done by the 2 of you together, the wagon's already rolling so to speak. You just need to keep it pointed in the right direction. Give it a bit of time, & continue to delight in your good company with him. don't have to pressure yourself to do anytning. if somthing's embarassing to you now, give it time. When you guys get to know each other better you'll find your discussions becoming more frank and open because you will be making even bigger decisions in your friendship together.

Edited by Joukowski

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& probably want to think also about outings together away from other people, only if you're interested.

here's the turning point.. previously everything seemed pretty positive till today.. he called me for a movie which i agreed bt then in the end, he cancelled it reason was because he couldnt find more company besides the 2 of us... his msg jz now really gave me another perspective in this matter.. what do u think?.. i was really hoping tha we both could go out together as in the 2 of us only bt it seems that he really didnt want it to happen...i know it may sound bad bt i feel a bit used as in emotionally and it is wearing me out..

whenever i go for activities with my friends, he'd always give me a mesage "hope you enjoy ur activity".. sorta things.. then yesterday he told me that dun make him worry .. bla bla... because he's grown quite attached to me.. can anyone out there give me an explanation of "grown quite attached to you" from a guy's perspective?.. i'd really wanna know..

im nt sure whats the next best step to this approach bt i can somehow feel that it is taking a toll on our relationship as in normal friends cause from my opinion, i'd like to continue the friendship bt it would be pretty heartbreaking and i think i have invested a little too much in this friendship could it be because im a bit too sensitive or could it be because the way of him expressing gave me a little wrong impression?.. i can pretend to not be affected by it bt i will not be as "friendly" as previously and im pretty sure he'd know it in a sec...

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dunno, 'grown attached 2u' may mean he trusts you. take it easy & don't be too sensitivelar so it won't emotionally wear you out. Not sure why just the 2 of you can't go out? Think he's shy? afraid to be lost for words? Is he talkative (maybe not)? Perhaps he don't want to bore you & just want more company to make the discussions more interesting? May be don't want to be the first to initiate anything? Lots of reasonla if you're not sure, i lagi not sure....

maybe you can ask him out for a movie that you wanna see, and when he ask if you asked anyone else, just say you wanna watch it with him. He should get the message by then.

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