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kittylove

do you talk about your sex life to the opposite sex friends?

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I know a guy who told me that he discusses his sexual experiences with his lady friends. And his married and single lady friends also talk to him about their sexual experiences. They talk about the sexual positions, orgasms, where they do it, who they do it with, and the details that go with each sexual fling. I was instantly turned off. I don't think such private moments should be discussed so openly with friends of the opposite sex who's not even my boyfriend or husband. I find it disgusting and disrespectful to share our intimate experiences with friends. I wanted to puke when he told me that. So I decided to walk out on him. I'm just not talking to him anymore. Do you think it's normal to feel this way about a guy like that? Do you guys talk about such things so explicitly with your lady friends? I'd think the only girls who'd even talk about it are prostitutes and social escorts. Maybe I'm naive. Please enlighten me on this. Did I do the right thing by walking out on him?

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yes i do. just sharing and ask for opinion if there's some problem wif my sex life. i would like to know how and wat should i do to pleasure my man :rolleyes:

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It’s wrong to go into details – eg, sexual positions, orgasm etc and in my opinion you did the right thing because some things are not meant to be so open - that’s why you call it intimacy.

If he’s one of your bestest best friends and it’s strictly platonic, then it’s okay to discuss (note: not go into details) so that you could get a better understanding or perspective from a guy’s point of view. Otherwise, to hell with anyone who wants to brag/talk about their sex life in details.

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Hmm...

I wouldn't say I make a habit out of explicitly detailing my sex life to friends of the opposite sex, but the topic has been broached quite a few times before. I guess it all depends on the specific individual, and if its within their comfort zone or not? Clearly its not within yours...at least for the time being.

I actually had a friend who shared similar views with you at one time, but over the years she has opened up a lot more. Thats not to say she openly discusses her sex life with whomever happens to walk by, but perhaps with one or two of her closest friends (myself being one of them) and usually there is a specific topic at hand. By that I mean its not a 'free-for-all' type of discussion where it goes along the lines of 'I did this, and then this and then this...how awesome?!?'....get what I mean? If we're talking about it, usually she will have a query of some sort...call it a free exchange of information between the closest of friends. Afterall, the basic learning process is all about asking questions and searching for the answers right? ;)

Having said all that, I do agree with what you've said to some degree...it is an intimate act and a private matter which certainly shouldn't be discussed too openly, it shouldn't be displayed in public and flaunted like dirty laundry...buuuuut...if its a very private discussion between trusted friends, why not? A discussion on sex can be done in good taste, believe it or not.

As for walking out on your friend, depends on the situation. If he was making you feel uncomfortable and practically forcing you to divulge your personal affairs, well you were well within your rights to leave! However, if you didn't let him know that this topic was outside your comfort zone...well perhaps you overreacted a bit? My $0.2 on the matter. :)

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Thanks for the replies. They do it for fun. If they can't get into each other's pants, they might as well do it verbally or over a sex chat where they share very explicitly how every single detail including the sounds of orgasm (fake or real), the exact foreplay - it's like repeating the entire scene in the bedroom to each other. IMO, I feel it's downright disrespectful and indecent. Sex is an intimate and private thing, at least to me. If I'm having trouble pleasing my guy, then I'll just go to a sex therapist or the bookstore, or worst case scenario - to a married lady friend. But I'll never talk about such things to a guy friend no matter how close he is. Maybe the world's changing and sex is like food to most people. I don't even share my food with my best guy friend.

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if those asking for fun only... just ask them f**k off...

I only will talk out this topic wif my close boy's friend... it doesn't mean tat i tell him all the details of making love wif my man.... wat is close friend? mean someone can be trusted, someone who can share ur happiness and sadness, someone who willing to help, someone who can be depends beside ur family... who say boy and gal can't be close friend?

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To be honest, I wouldn't want to go into the intimate details with any man friend, but I suppose what intimate actually constitutes is rather relative. I do discuss sex with my friends, in a mixed group, but in more general terms and only with friends whom I'm comfortable with - not mere acquaintances.

My comfort zone is rather vague however, I wouldn't be able to define it exactly, just go by instinct. I find it very offensive when men I don't know start probing me for sexual details - how loserish can you get?! Especially if they're trying to date me or on the first date.

The intimate details I'd rather leave for men I would be sleeping with - good sexual communication is important in a relationship.

Edited by BananaEagle

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We talk about sex in general sometimes... i dont talk about my sex life though.. its private and no one needs to know. But it depends on who im talking to... i dont talk bout it with all guy friends. only a few.. do gays count? lol!

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:lol1:

Unfortunately, sex is now just plain ol' sex. There's nothing to hide anymore. The media has downplayed the significance of keeping sex life private. So more and more guys and girls are open about sex.

I think in these conversations, safe sex should be included. :) But if you are uncomfortable, you can always tell him to stop.

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Girls should accept that guys do talk about sex in detail with close friends. Turn a blind eye if you don't like. It's just normal for some guys. Mentioning names of the girls is different though- That's crossing the line because I agree sex is private. Guys talk to their friends about experiences because they want to better satisfy their ladies. Sometimes girls should be a bit more open too with their closest friends so that they can have a better, and more amazing sex life. Sorry la but i think sex is important in marriage or a serious relationship. This is my opinion! No offense!!

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Thanks y'all. Maybe I over-reacted. But I'm still not talking to him. Need time to get over it cause I'm afraid I'll puke if I see him just thinking about what he said that day. I saw him 2 days ago but I refused to say hi or smile or look at him.

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I don't think it should be done, all women i know would find this type of topic for conversation rather brainless & distasteful, no matter if they happen to be my close friends or not. Its also inappropriate to open this sort of conversation with friends particularly if you're a man, simply because there's so many other interesting & intelligent things you can think off to talk about first, than a ill-advised subject that you will be sure one of your friends shall find objectional. Why risk any of the friendships around you? Doing it is foolishness in motion.

Your immediate reaction to this dim-witted clown is correct. You did not over react. I would leave his dumb ass well alone. He's a social retard, unless he's 12 years old & just discovered pubic hair? You're correct to not accept anything that makes you uncomfortable even if it's meant to be funny, if you don't like what's being said it is perfectly acceptable for you to get up and walk away. Don't suffer fools.

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Liyencutie is correct... Information and education la.. not necessarily perverted.. depends on how the conversation developed.

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Hello,

well, in my opinion, if the discussion merely on sex education, emmm....discuss or sharing information regard both sex issues such as health, for me its ok bah.

Both sex should be able to discuss it...nothing to shame for as long as its related to health topic..

By the way, I'm not so keen on topic regard personal sexual experience due its quite personal matter.

Avoiding from discussion this topic (sex education) won't make betteroff to both party. The guy should be make know about the topic such as period or Premenstrual Syndrome, then, the guy will be more inform about her gf or spouse's monthly biological cycle. So, then, he will be able to take care of you.Please let your partner know it.

Is not a ggod idea to be too 'nice' telling other about your private life , except for medical purpose.

So,what say you?

Edited by Xylem

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Unless you are asking for some sex health advises to opposite gender otherwise i regard those discuss detailed sex experience as desperate & dirty minded.

You never know some guys capabilities and their intention toward a girl.

They wanna find out how 'open' minded the girl is. So they prey their target by discussing sex topic with them to see how eagerly the lady respond. They know how to judge where a lady comfort zone in while discussing the detailed in making love part.

Those guys are very resourceful in knowing which ladies had crossed the extreme line. They will find any possible ways to curb the ladies horniess to have sex with them.

Sex is a very private issue topic that share only you and ur opposite gender.

Lastly some guy have a very foul mouth in spreading your sex affairs to the rest. So beware.

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I only talked about general to my close ex-uni mates ( mostly gals + 1 gay ) but not into details too because i find it uncomfortable to share too deep into that. If in cyberworld with someone i know i'll never bumped in face to face, i'm more open to it.

But there're some guys without nerve loves to ask about details when we're chatting face to face, i just easily turned the conversation into other topic and find my way to cabut as soon as i can. Sometimes if cant escape really feels like slap them twice in the face.

I rather put all these into my 'p&c' file.

Edited by jocall123

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jocall I can understand your reservation and you are right to protect yourself.

Perhaps the defining moment for me was when I walked into my ex-housemate masturbating. I quietly walked away but by chance got to read her answers in a sex survey because she left it in the open. She saw me reading and we sat down and had a great chat.

I have female friends who talked in details over coffee and lunch. It is about mutual respect. Those who share their experience with me earn my respect and admiration. They are inevitably beautiful, confident and successful

I once loan a sex manual techniques purchased Singapore to a couple of female co-workers and they were glad with the things they learnt.

Edited by flyboy

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well i don think one shud brag or openly discuss their own intimacy..

it is disrespectful to one's partner..

if u seek for help then okla..

if u complain or share wit frens just to show u have power then it is so so so wrong..

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I know a guy who told me that he discusses his sexual experiences with his lady friends. And his married and single lady friends also talk to him about their sexual experiences. They talk about the sexual positions, orgasms, where they do it, who they do it with, and the details that go with each sexual fling. I was instantly turned off. I don't think such private moments should be discussed so openly with friends of the opposite sex who's not even my boyfriend or husband. I find it disgusting and disrespectful to share our intimate experiences with friends. I wanted to puke when he told me that. So I decided to walk out on him. I'm just not talking to him anymore. Do you think it's normal to feel this way about a guy like that? Do you guys talk about such things so explicitly with your lady friends? I'd think the only girls who'd even talk about it are prostitutes and social escorts. Maybe I'm naive. Please enlighten me on this. Did I do the right thing by walking out on him?

i think you did the right thing by walking out on him. coz it is a matter of principle...and in this situation you have your own principle which is not to talk openly about sexual life. you don't sacrifice your own principle just for the cause of pleasing ppl around you.

anyway...i am againts of such discussion as well. sounded more like a sex crazed guy to me with some sex crazed gurls as well. i mean...i don't think a normal decent guy/gurl will talk so openly about his/her most intimate secret such as sexual life. scratch the surface maybe...but to venture into such deep topics such as sexual positions and orgasms? errr...seriously? :shakehead:

stay away from him and those gurls kittylove :P

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I know a guy who told me that he discusses his sexual experiences with his lady friends. And his married and single lady friends also talk to him about their sexual experiences. They talk about the sexual positions, orgasms, where they do it, who they do it with, and the details that go with each sexual fling. I was instantly turned off. I don't think such private moments should be discussed so openly with friends of the opposite sex who's not even my boyfriend or husband. I find it disgusting and disrespectful to share our intimate experiences with friends. I wanted to puke when he told me that. So I decided to walk out on him. I'm just not talking to him anymore. Do you think it's normal to feel this way about a guy like that? Do you guys talk about such things so explicitly with your lady friends? I'd think the only girls who'd even talk about it are prostitutes and social escorts. Maybe I'm naive. Please enlighten me on this. Did I do the right thing by walking out on him?

- you are right to exert your right on what is comfortable or not comfortable for you. by walking off, you sent a strong signal and as an advocat for women's right, I say you did the string, right thing but would be be more productive to say, "I am uncomfortable with this, can you stop?" If he is worth your time, he would stop and apologise. Cutting him off like that may serve him right but I am not sure.

- sex is a natural part of our make up so I wonder if you think sex is dirty or taboo? But to say only prostitutes or social escorts talk about sex in details is insulting to sex therapists, doctors, open-minded people and some of my friends and yours truly too. everybody has a right to say things they wanted unless it is threatening to somebody else. Would you hammer the actresses and script writers and fans of "sex and the city"?

- I am not angry but just to suggest that there are different people with different opinions

Edited by flyboy

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It is impossible for me to tell my sex life, story, position or anything that related to sex with my best girl friends...so, I don't think there will be any chance for my guy friends to hear it from me. My friends also never tell about their sex life...whether they are enjoying it or disliking it, we just never talk bout it infront of each other. We can talk about shopping, food or anything bout the world but not our sex life. We do not need to reveal everything in our life to everyone, do we?! Sex or make love is something very private and special that only both couple are involved and shared...if you started telling to everyone...then it wont be special and no respect towards your the other half.

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