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annielee

Need advise

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hi everyone..

i'm a silent reader in this forum for years already..and i seldom tell anyone bout my problem...hope i can put things right...

i spend my CNY in HK with my old friend (college friend)..(the reason i'm there coz he just got separated from his wife)..

i tot to have a good holiday there and also console him...but something that should not happen..happen on my first night there with him..(i stayed at his place during the holiday)..i agree to have sex with him coz i do like him since college days..and we didnt plan for that to happen, we just massaging each other, and one thing lead to another..and we ended up with sex...but after the session..he'll just sleep..and the next morning, we didnt mentioned what happen..it did happen for few times when i was there for a week..but we didnt mentioned about it the next day everytime..just tot nothing had happen..

i wanted to know from you guys and gals, do i look "cheap" agree to have sex with him.., does he do it just for the sake of doing it coz im there...

im really confused now...

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Hey there, In my opinion, I think you should be asking these questions to him.. Don't cave in to society and ever regard yourself as "cheap". Being there for him to console him says a lot about your good character already. We all make mistakes once in a while because we are human. So again don't feel so down about the situation and never think of it as your fault. As they say, "it takes two to tango". I'm afraid this is a problem only you and him can find the answer to dear.. xox

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the issue is he dun even know my main purpose there is to console him, he just tot i wanna go holiday in HK..

i know it takes 2 to tango, and i've to asked him why he did that..but im afraid he'll siad something that i dun wan to listen..that's y we treat nothing happen every morning..

and actually he did bring up some questions every now and then, what relationship we r in, but i ignored him and pretend not listening..

since im back here, i guess there's nothing can be done..mayb i just have to forget whatever happen there..

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hi, annielee... actually do u want to be with him? Or what is really ur intention when u decided to fly over to HK? What do you urself want? just to console him? really? that's it?

I saw ur post earlier, actually i myself is in such situation. worst thing is that i am the one asking him and he just refuse to answer and now we have to act nothing happen. Is frustrating on myside, as i do not know what he is thinking. Like you, i also feel that i'm "cheap" to do it.

Since he already ask the qns, why dun u just tell him wat you want on the same time you'll be able to find out wat he is thinking.

sorry that i can give u much advice, cause i myself is in such traumatic situation which is killing me now.

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Hey :) This thing actually happened to me also.. but I didn't feel "cheap" because I know that what I had done is done and I should just treat as another of my life's experiences. It is true what berries says.. you need to figure what you want. Is it him? Once you realize what you want then you can face the situation :) For me, I had to fight a hell of a fight to get him and in the end I didn't regret anything that I had done. Seize the day! ^ ^ Anyway, I hope it turns out OK for you both.

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whoah...

it sounds to me like one nite stand....

i hope he dun feel bad about it... since he ask u those question... most probably he have feelings for you too...

oh well .... since u decided to let it go... :)

(PS: is he that bad in bed?)

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i chose to forget everything to maintain our friendship..(which i treasure a lot)..

bad in bed? i dunno how to judge its good or bad..but after evry session, he'll just go to sleep, without bothering me..so, how do u judge it?

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the next time he asks you questions, try not to dodge it. perhaps he has feelings for you because he asked you bout it. if he wants to end it, he could have said it instead of you the status of the relationship. usually, only girls would ask such questions..

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hi everyone..

i'm a silent reader in this forum for years already..and i seldom tell anyone bout my problem...hope i can put things right...

i spend my CNY in HK with my old friend (college friend)..(the reason i'm there coz he just got separated from his wife)..

i tot to have a good holiday there and also console him...but something that should not happen..happen on my first night there with him..(i stayed at his place during the holiday)..i agree to have sex with him coz i do like him since college days..and we didnt plan for that to happen, we just massaging each other, and one thing lead to another..and we ended up with sex...but after the session..he'll just sleep..and the next morning, we didnt mentioned what happen..it did happen for few times when i was there for a week..but we didnt mentioned about it the next day everytime..just tot nothing had happen..

i wanted to know from you guys and gals, do i look "cheap" agree to have sex with him.., does he do it just for the sake of doing it coz im there...

im really confused now...

In a sense, it seems you've been used by him... in another sense, you let yourself be used by him.

Do you look cheap?

I dunno.

Does he just do for the sake of doing cos you're there?

Yea. I mean, come on... free sex at a time when he could be lonely now (erm... and distraught?) Erm.. or maybe not. Why did he and his wife separate anyway?

Of course you're confused now. Who wouldn't be? I'm pretty sure he would be as well. Whether or not you decide to take this to another level depends on you (and him). Since you're both consenting adults, talk about it. See what both your options are.

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nah dont ever think yourself as cheap. In fact, don't ever look down on yourself. Just talk to him to clear things up

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What's done is done. If you've decided to forget it, do that. In fact, it's probably the thing to do, unless you intend to spend the rest of your future with him. THEN maybe we should discuss what to do next. ^^

And no, you're not cheap in my books. In fact, this brings back memories. The same thing more or less -- except that I was the guy, of course. :P We all make our share of mistakes of course, but who's to decide if what we did is a mistake or not? ^^ Particularly if we had fun? :D

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