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evilhomura89

Give up or let time decide??

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Well...i liked this girl who considered me as a good friend...which i din really knw until recently

At 1st i'm not quite sure whether she's interested in me onot...den aft going for vacation with a groups of friends, i asked her girl friends abt it...they told me the truth dat she's afraid of hurting other's feeling and she's the type that will avoid and run away from her fear. The girls told me that she thinks of me of an important friend, but not having the "feeling". if i try too hard, she might freaked out and avoid it like she did to what she feared. And in da same time, stg serious had happened to her close relative which could be life-threatening, she was worried bout dat and i didn't wan to cause more trouble for her.

So, u think what should i do nw?? Forget bout it and treat her as friends or wait for the correct time which could take up months or even years...

Edited by evilhomura89

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According to your case with limited reference, I think you have to consider some factors :

1) Is she involved into another relationship? eg. boyfriend, she admire someone else...

2) Are you involved in another relationship? or in a recovering status or in a good shape?

3) How old is she and you.....

4) who is the 'close relationship' and how is she responding to it? eg. confuse? sad till burst into tears? busy to find alternative way for treat?

5) How deep is ur feeling towards her?

My personal point of view:

- be there when she's in need. It's not because you like her, being as a friend, it should be supporting when a friend in need.

- never try never know.

I think it's better to look for a suitable time to talk to her..... which you will never know when and what will happen.

Never talk about how much you love her or like her when she's in a bad mood, woman easily affected by emotional. Tell her that you will support her and be with her to overcome this difficulties

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According to your case with limited reference, I think you have to consider some factors :

1) Is she involved into another relationship? eg. boyfriend, she admire someone else...

2) Are you involved in another relationship? or in a recovering status or in a good shape?

3) How old is she and you.....

4) who is the 'close relationship' and how is she responding to it? eg. confuse? sad till burst into tears? busy to find alternative way for treat?

5) How deep is ur feeling towards her?

My personal point of view:

- be there when she's in need. It's not because you like her, being as a friend, it should be supporting when a friend in need.

- never try never know.

I think it's better to look for a suitable time to talk to her..... which you will never know when and what will happen.

Never talk about how much you love her or like her when she's in a bad mood, woman easily affected by emotional. Tell her that you will support her and be with her to overcome this difficulties

ans:

1. nope...according to another friend of her, she said she has no interest in others yet

2. none as well...never been in one b4

3. both of us are 18+

4. her granma...quite worried bout it, been sick for the past few weeks...recently undergone a critical operation, nw in ICU, if make it thru these few days she might live

5. how deep is considered deep??...well, no matter where am i, what i'm doin, she'll be the one i'm thinkin of

As u all knw, girls hav their own intuition that can sense plenty of stuff. She knows dat i liked her although i din tell...mayb thru actions...dat's why she told our friends abt it as in the 1st post.

P/s: i wish to be there with her but then the only communication is phone, in fact i dun even dare to send to many msg to irritate her, mayb 1-2 msg per day currently. I did thought of driving 3 hours to find her where she is with her granma during this period but jz afraid that my existence there will affect her mood. Mayb i've been thinkin too much.

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The important thing is to be there for her in this difficult period. That's a surefire way to win her heart for sure (something that works for me anyway).

SMSes are ok, just don't go overboard. What you sms her is important tho. You should be concerned about her and her grandma, let her know you're just checking on her to see that she and her grandma are ok and not some freakin' stalker.

Don't push the relationship, be friends first. Get closer. These things take time, don't be impatient. How long have you known each other anyway?

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ans:

1. nope...according to another friend of her, she said she has no interest in others yet

2. none as well...never been in one b4

3. both of us are 18+

4. her granma...quite worried bout it, been sick for the past few weeks...recently undergone a critical operation, nw in ICU, if make it thru these few days she might live

5. how deep is considered deep??...well, no matter where am i, what i'm doin, she'll be the one i'm thinkin of

As u all knw, girls hav their own intuition that can sense plenty of stuff. She knows dat i liked her although i din tell...mayb thru actions...dat's why she told our friends abt it as in the 1st post.

P/s: i wish to be there with her but then the only communication is phone, in fact i dun even dare to send to many msg to irritate her, mayb 1-2 msg per day currently. I did thought of driving 3 hours to find her where she is with her granma during this period but jz afraid that my existence there will affect her mood. Mayb i've been thinkin too much.

ermm.... actually, don't really trust too much on the girl's friend. I hope you would understand..... cause not everything that they say is correct. Well, to me, 18+ is just very young to start a relationship. Do you heard of relationship timing? I think it's good if you can be friends, what I mean is, give this relationship more time to grow, according to my concern (can't remember where I got this info), a person start to go mature (change thinking and behaviour) after going to the society ( do not mean start working but it means the environment has change and this cause a person to change the behaviour, perception and attitude).

Hope that you don't misinterpret my meaning.... just give more time to let it grow if you are serious about this relationship. Maybe you can talk to her after her grandma's incident. As I say, never try never know. Maybe you can tell her what you think about while give her sometime to think too.

Don't be too rush cause being rush can spoil things sometime.

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The important thing is to be there for her in this difficult period. That's a surefire way to win her heart for sure (something that works for me anyway).

SMSes are ok, just don't go overboard. What you sms her is important tho. You should be concerned about her and her grandma, let her know you're just checking on her to see that she and her grandma are ok and not some freakin' stalker.

Don't push the relationship, be friends first. Get closer. These things take time, don't be impatient. How long have you known each other anyway?

Thx for da advice, really appreciate it. Like checking how she n her granma is doin, i dun think u're gonna ask the same thing over n over again, it's irritating isn't it?...at least v nid to leave her alone rite?? I've know her abt 10 months adi...but din get close until 2-3 months ago.

ermm.... actually, don't really trust too much on the girl's friend. I hope you would understand..... cause not everything that they say is correct. Well, to me, 18+ is just very young to start a relationship. Do you heard of relationship timing? I think it's good if you can be friends, what I mean is, give this relationship more time to grow, according to my concern (can't remember where I got this info), a person start to go mature (change thinking and behaviour) after going to the society ( do not mean start working but it means the environment has change and this cause a person to change the behaviour, perception and attitude).

Hope that you don't misinterpret my meaning.... just give more time to let it grow if you are serious about this relationship. Maybe you can talk to her after her grandma's incident. As I say, never try never know. Maybe you can tell her what you think about while give her sometime to think too.

Don't be too rush cause being rush can spoil things sometime.

Well, IMO the girl's friend are 95% trust-able cause those few are also like my mutual friends. Because in that group we are considered as really close friends together.

I guess u can be right about giving more time to let it grow. Maybe i can talk to her about it when time is suitable, again, she might run away from her fears and avoid facing it.

Thx for da advice as well. ^^

Edited by evilhomura89

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Thx for da advice, really appreciate it. Like checking how she n her granma is doin, i dun think u're gonna ask the same thing over n over again, it's irritating isn't it?...at least v nid to leave her alone rite?? I've know her abt 10 months adi...but din get close until 2-3 months ago.

No, I don't mean asking the same thing over and over again. You can ask her how her day is, you can tell her what's going on with you (as a means of distraction. When I'm having my downtime sometimes reminding me of why I'm down can make me even more down, so when my man calls besides telling him whatever he wants to hear about me I ask him what's going on at his side of the line. It helps.)

If you already know her for some time already, is good. Be patient. :)

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No, I don't mean asking the same thing over and over again. You can ask her how her day is, you can tell her what's going on with you (as a means of distraction. When I'm having my downtime sometimes reminding me of why I'm down can make me even more down, so when my man calls besides telling him whatever he wants to hear about me I ask him what's going on at his side of the line. It helps.)

If you already know her for some time already, is good. Be patient. :)

Ooo...but when u're down, then yr man called and tell u he's enjoying a nice dinner or stg like dat...how would u feel??

I felt that it's kinda hard when someone's down and worrying then u go and tell them indirectly dat yr life is better than theirs.

Patient is the way to go ^^

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yeah lar.... don't keep asking the same thing... scare she will think u are making fun of her... :P

maybe you can tell her some alternative herbs or whatever kinna thing related, just want to let her know that you care indirectly...

Not sure if this will work anot... ^_^

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Patient is the way to go ^^

Patience is for losers in this case. Why waste your time on a girl? Doesn't make any sense to me. If the girl doesn't show any interest, move on. There are plenty of girls out there anyways.

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Patience is for losers in this case. Why waste your time on a girl? Doesn't make any sense to me. If the girl doesn't show any interest, move on. There are plenty of girls out there anyways.

If evilhomura's going to rush to tell that girl about his feeling, it's mostly going to fail.

Which girl will think it's romantic to say ' yes' when the grandma is so sick. Better to be patient to wait for the girl to settle down her emotion.

Nothing in the world of relationship is wasting time. It's depend on worth it or not.

So, it's depend on evilhomura to measure it's worthiness.

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Patience is for losers in this case. Why waste your time on a girl? Doesn't make any sense to me. If the girl doesn't show any interest, move on. There are plenty of girls out there anyways.

If evilhomura's going to rush to tell that girl about his feeling, it's mostly going to fail.

Which girl will think it's romantic to say ' yes' when the grandma is so sick. Better to be patient to wait for the girl to settle down her emotion.

Nothing in the world of relationship is wasting time. It's depend on worth it or not.

So, it's depend on evilhomura to measure it's worthiness.

I agree with Wendy's opinion cause with so many things to worry about, this isn't the right time.

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Ooo...but when u're down, then yr man called and tell u he's enjoying a nice dinner or stg like dat...how would u feel??

I felt that it's kinda hard when someone's down and worrying then u go and tell them indirectly dat yr life is better than theirs.

Actually, I don't quite mind. The last time I was down he was attending a wedding, called me after that to console me and tell me the funny stuff he did during the heng dai (bachelors party) session earlier, which made me laugh. :)

Its up to you to decide what's best. :) Since you are bent on courting that girl, I'll advise patience, but as always, have an exit strategy. What if after all the patience and effort you put in she still doesn't want you? If you have no time, then take Adam's advice. :)

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Ytd nite, i tried sms-ing her asking if she nids someone to talk to, spill some thoughts...she said it's ok and went to bed which i seriously doubt. She has changed a lot...which i can't blame on anyone. Is there anythin i should do, eg, pay her a visit, give her a call instead of sms-ing?? Please advice.

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If evilhomura's going to rush to tell that girl about his feeling, it's mostly going to fail.

Which girl will think it's romantic to say ' yes' when the grandma is so sick. Better to be patient to wait for the girl to settle down her emotion.

Nothing in the world of relationship is wasting time. It's depend on worth it or not.

So, it's depend on evilhomura to measure it's worthiness.

I don't care much about romance when the girl has already expressed that she's not interested. Even if she might have problems, why waste time chasing? Life is so short. I would recommend to play the field.

Worthiness? Trust me, these days its hard to find a girl that is worth the money and time.

Why? TOO much korean drama on tv.

Edited by AdamG

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Ytd nite, i tried sms-ing her asking if she nids someone to talk to, spill some thoughts...she said it's ok and went to bed which i seriously doubt. She has changed a lot...which i can't blame on anyone. Is there anythin i should do, eg, pay her a visit, give her a call instead of sms-ing?? Please advice.

Hi, so what's telling you in your heart? double think about it then only see what can be done....

I couldn't say that what's the best or appropriate solution for it, but I think it's better for you to think what's changing.... would it be the mood, experience or maybe urself. Anyway, did you talk this problem with someone.... someone that you are familiar to and know u and her well (beside the girl's friend that you mentioned earlier)

Or, you already have something that's already in your mind. Something that you know but not willing to accept.

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Hi, so what's telling you in your heart? double think about it then only see what can be done....

I couldn't say that what's the best or appropriate solution for it, but I think it's better for you to think what's changing.... would it be the mood, experience or maybe urself. Anyway, did you talk this problem with someone.... someone that you are familiar to and know u and her well (beside the girl's friend that you mentioned earlier)

Or, you already have something that's already in your mind. Something that you know but not willing to accept.

A lot of thoughts is produced in my mind nw...somehow i wanted to do stg like share her sorrow 2gether but then...sometimes jz thinking about the bad consequences like it will make her even frustrated will stop me frm doin so

It is her mood dat's changing...she's vry worried abt her granma...even her msg she replied is different from those days...the friends i've mentioned noticed dat too

Well i guess there's none other than the girl's friend dat i've mentioned earlier...i can only talk to them...

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A lot of thoughts is produced in my mind nw...somehow i wanted to do stg like share her sorrow 2gether but then...sometimes jz thinking about the bad consequences like it will make her even frustrated will stop me frm doin so

It is her mood dat's changing...she's vry worried abt her granma...even her msg she replied is different from those days...the friends i've mentioned noticed dat too

Well i guess there's none other than the girl's friend dat i've mentioned earlier...i can only talk to them...

Sometimes you have to give her a short break to sort things out herself. :) Don't sms her everyday lo ... Or instead of ask if she needs someone to talk to, ask her direct - how is grandma today? Wait for her reply, then answer appropriately. It doesn't matter if you ask her this everyday, the condition of her grandma is variable what.

Note: If it takes the turn for the worst, please CALL HER. Otherwise SMS is enough. In my last r/s, my grandma passed away - that time my r/s was already going sour. I smsed him that my grandma was gone, he never called back or even answered until days later and claimed smth wrong with his h/p or whatever, I can't remember now. At least I know my man now will call me straight away.

I don't care much about romance when the girl has already expressed that she's not interested. Even if she might have problems, why waste time chasing? Life is so short. I would recommend to play the field.

Worthiness? Trust me, these days its hard to find a girl that is worth the money and time.

Why? TOO much korean drama on tv.

Actually, this is my policy. ;) Let him learn, Adam. :P

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...convince her....with all of ur love & cares.....

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It's not easy for me to develope feelings for a certain someone and if i really do and the surrounding situation favours me, i'll take that chance and see where love will land me on.

It's very obvious that you're harbouring deep feelings for her seeing the fact that she's constantly on your mind and that you're trying ways to penetrate into her sorrows and fears. You can get informations from her friends but they're still not her and hence you shouldn't put all your bet on their sharings. The girl is now in dilemma over her granny and is pretty much confuse. She will not be able to understand your current actions which show love, care and concern. Why not take things slowly and continue extending any help possible if she needs it. Personally, i feel it doesn't matter if you show more care and concern because the girl is not yet attached. Sometimes, it is through trials and turbulences that love will spark.

What you do now matters alot in the near future when she is ready to consider you for a relationship. Don't give up quite yet because you know you love her.

Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it's too beautiful a word to say it too late.

Wait for the right time.

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It's not easy for me to develope feelings for a certain someone and if i really do and the surrounding situation favours me, i'll take that chance and see where love will land me on.

It's very obvious that you're harbouring deep feelings for her seeing the fact that she's constantly on your mind and that you're trying ways to penetrate into her sorrows and fears. You can get informations from her friends but they're still not her and hence you shouldn't put all your bet on their sharings. The girl is now in dilemma over her granny and is pretty much confuse. She will not be able to understand your current actions which show love, care and concern. Why not take things slowly and continue extending any help possible if she needs it. Personally, i feel it doesn't matter if you show more care and concern because the girl is not yet attached. Sometimes, it is through trials and turbulences that love will spark.

What you do now matters alot in the near future when she is ready to consider you for a relationship. Don't give up quite yet because you know you love her.

Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it's too beautiful a word to say it too late.

Wait for the right time.

Thx for yr advice. :praisegod:

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heya,

maybe she is just testing water..?, i think the grandma..its kinda lame excuse..

she is still thinking bout it.. she definitely know u like her..

maybe u shudnt put too much concern on this, it will happen, try focusing on other things

like out with frens, get busy, yet still be there for her..

Just don't think too much, not good for ur brains..:P

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heya,

maybe she is just testing water..?, i think the grandma..its kinda lame excuse..

she is still thinking bout it.. she definitely know u like her..

maybe u shudnt put too much concern on this, it will happen, try focusing on other things

like out with frens, get busy, yet still be there for her..

Just don't think too much, not good for ur brains..:P

Testing water??

Well, her granma is really sick as far as i'm concern...it's no excuse for anythin...she din reject me or anythin using her granma as excuse, so dun get it wrong

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