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gf go out with other guys friend , opinion

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...my gf we been together for about half a year now, when i told her about how uncomfortable i feel if she would went out with guys ( just 2 of them ) for dinner cum movie , she would be unhappy , seems she dun agree with it. Its actually just a exchange of thought. Am i oversensitive/possessive ? should i just let her have her freedom ? go out with guys freind one to one ....i dun mind she go out for dinner or lunch ,,,,,,but example dinner + shopping + movies....doesnt that feel like dating?.....do u girls think its ok to do that when u are in a relationship.its her 1st time relationship . thanks for opinion very much appreciated....

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i don't find it wrong .... it all boils down to trust. :D

i do go out with my other guys friends as normal friends going out

.... but i make sure i tell my bf first.

my bf used to feel uncomfortable first... we talk bout it. i asure him there is no *hanky panky* things around ....

i used to tell him, is this make him insecure, what bout next time when i start to work. won't i'll be meeting more new guys ?

and the guy friends that i go out with ( i don't go out with random guys) is people that i grow up with.

i don't see why i should stop going out with my friends just because i'm attached and also when i believe what i am doing is not wrong.

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I dont think its a problem. Its okay, as long as there is limits. Like going out at nite till what time, stuffs like that. And as long as you, her bf is still her 1st priority, i think thats fine. You have the rights to feel a little bit insecure, posessive, yet we cant control her too much. Anyway, i think both of you can discuss about it, if you feel uncomfortable. A relationship is about 2 person, nt a bout 1 person. Communication is very important. All these usually will lead to unhappiness, and thats unhealthy. Talk, communicate and tolerance. Thats the best.

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ya...there is alwiz a limit....

but then...u hav to know wats tat guy's motive 1st...get me?

trust is important btw each other... :)

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ya...there is alwiz a limit....

but then...u hav to know wats tat guy's motive 1st...get me?

trust is important btw each other... :)

say if the guy always wanna date her and she is still wanna go out with him , is it means she likes him ? but she will say they are just friends .should i let her be or try to refrain her from doing so....

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otoman

Why be so hard on yourself. You are a guy. You make decision. Seems like your gf control you instead of you controlling her. Just tell and talk to her you are not comfortable. Tell her what you mind and dont mind. Tell her if she agrees. That way you find solution. If she keeps continuing giving excuses without giving solutions, then i guess there's something fishy going on between of them. Scared she might cheat on you. Else, if you are not happy with what she's doing and she's not trying to make things up better for you, then you should consider having her again. I guess you dont want girls to play with your feelings rite? The longer it is, the deeper the wound.

Edited by Quen^nie

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for me, if i know the guy is interested in me i would not go out one on one with him ( if i'm attached that is, or unless my current relationship is unstable) ...

i think u should discuss this with ur gf..if she loves u n respects u she would know what to do best

Edited by yin

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Communicate and talk to her nicely...remember NICELY :)

go out wif guy frenz once a while is ok...if it is too often...u have to beware ady...

or maybe she is hinting u to spend more time on her...

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...my gf we been together for about half a year now, when i told her about how uncomfortable i feel if she would went out with guys ( just 2 of them ) for dinner cum movie , she would be unhappy , seems she dun agree with it. Its actually just a exchange of thought. Am i oversensitive/possessive ? should i just let her have her freedom ? go out with guys freind one to one ....i dun mind she go out for dinner or lunch ,,,,,,but example dinner + shopping + movies....doesnt that feel like dating?.....do u girls think its ok to do that when u are in a relationship.its her 1st time relationship . thanks for opinion very much appreciated....

It is like a date, isn't it? Well, I think that's considered a date. Sure, even if it's just a friend... why the NEED to go out one-on-one? Is it really a NEED? Why can't it be in a group? Why can't you go along with them? Are her friends ONLY HER friends, and not yours?

Have you asked her this question? "How would she feel if you went our with other girls (just the 2 of you) for dinner cum movie?" Would she feel comfortable with that? Personally I don't think that you're oversensitive or possessive. Having freedom in a relationship requires responsibility and commitment as well. Responsibility and commitment towards your partner and his feelings.

I'd refrain from going out with another girl one-on-one if I knew that it hurt my significant other. After all, she is my other half which is significant. Being significant is being important. I would bring her out as well to lunch/dinner/movies with my other friend(s). Meeting guys/girls in the work place and going out with them one-on-one are two totally different things. The whole issue isn't about not being able to go out with your personal friends once you're in a relationship. It's about why is there a need to segregate things into 'your friends' and 'my friends' when it should be 'our friends'. As Quen^nie mentioned, a relationship is about 2 person. Personally, I feel that if 2 people cannot be as one then it really isn't much of a relationship.

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...my gf we been together for about half a year now, when i told her about how uncomfortable i feel if she would went out with guys ( just 2 of them ) for dinner cum movie , she would be unhappy , seems she dun agree with it. Its actually just a exchange of thought. Am i oversensitive/possessive ? should i just let her have her freedom ? go out with guys freind one to one ....i dun mind she go out for dinner or lunch ,,,,,,but example dinner + shopping + movies....doesnt that feel like dating?.....do u girls think its ok to do that when u are in a relationship.its her 1st time relationship . thanks for opinion very much appreciated....

i personally agree wat u think man, but i guess all the guys will be the same, u can trust her, but not too much, sorry gals, bcoz when we trust too much, is not a good thing, might have a lot of loyal gals to her bf, but not all, 10 gals might have 2 which is not loyal, even a loyal gal, will turn to bad, bcoz they like fresh and something new, they can go out, but..... careful lo, guys is always bad, think back man, wat if u go out wit a gal, only 2 of u, wat will u act like???? for me, i will treat her like my gf.... this is guys.....

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well,for me...it doesnt seem "OK" for the moment:)

but it's ok If u know this guy...still not secure lor..who knows he will rampas cinta...right?

it happens alot within my friends...that at the beginning they said they are just friends...who knows weeks later they hooked up= =

so...aware lor...always know wat ur gf thinking...but..of coz dun too offensive to her lor...:)

it's normal to have a guy friend...close one, but need to aware also lor...

by the way..how old is she?

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i don think gals n guys can be close frens... there is a spark for sure, maybe just for some reason the spark cant continue(this might for those loyal gals) for guys, no matter wat oso will continue the spark :rolleyes: , but i believe, just bcoz the spark cant continue, they will so called best best frens.... no matter how, i agree wit LuvMary lo TS, be careful anyway, no need too much time for them, one week is enough for them to spark up.... i have experience to share you this man......

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Well, it's easy to talk .. but hard to achieve it....SEEK THE BALANCE ..... but there's really nothing wrong with hang out with frens who's the opposite sex. We still need frens eventhough we are already in a r/s. But of cos we have to know our limits.... do not cross the line... and makes your partner started to feel uncomfortable. If it happen to be that way, we should balance it out... maybe spent more time with ur partner, hang out lesser with your frens...We are human after all .... we have emotions,we make mistakes, we are not always alert and aware of everything. At times, we are confused. So, there's nothing wrong ... the BALANCE is somehow hard to achieve.

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guys n gals , really appreciate all ur thoughts. My girl is 25, thru her talking , she seems mature compared to her age. Anyway i did talked to her on this and she told me not to worry and knows wat to do.

This has actually happened to me with my ex. exact situations....but our relationship are not strong enough i guess , too much quarrel . Just hope it wont happend again this time. My current is the type that has more male friends than girls. Which worries me .

I'm thinking not to push her but let her think for herself and in the same time try to refrain her from one on one with guys for movies , dinner yes , group sure ok . what do u all think?

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for me,

it's okay if gf go out with other male friends.. but, make sure BF IS INFORM!!

i also go out with other male friends when i'm attached before..

BUT, I'm only go out with those my BF knows example my male bestfriend cum BF's bestfriend too..

or, male friend who attached to someone else and her GF know we're friend.

or single male friend who BF's know him..

that's it..

i'll not going out with any single male friend alone with him..

it's big no no for me while i'm attached...

unless, i bring along my friends to accompany me..

so then, it's a group outing rather than dating...

and yeah.. i really did..

once my internet-pal asked me out..

i brought along my bf went meeting him...

hehehe.. he didn't mind..some more,he felt safe..

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It is like a date, isn't it? Well, I think that's considered a date. Sure, even if it's just a friend... why the NEED to go out one-on-one? Is it really a NEED? Why can't it be in a group? Why can't you go along with them? Are her friends ONLY HER friends, and not yours?

Have you asked her this question? "How would she feel if you went our with other girls (just the 2 of you) for dinner cum movie?" Would she feel comfortable with that? Personally I don't think that you're oversensitive or possessive. Having freedom in a relationship requires responsibility and commitment as well. Responsibility and commitment towards your partner and his feelings.

I'd refrain from going out with another girl one-on-one if I knew that it hurt my significant other. After all, she is my other half which is significant. Being significant is being important. I would bring her out as well to lunch/dinner/movies with my other friend(s). Meeting guys/girls in the work place and going out with them one-on-one are two totally different things. The whole issue isn't about not being able to go out with your personal friends once you're in a relationship. It's about why is there a need to segregate things into 'your friends' and 'my friends' when it should be 'our friends'. As Quen^nie mentioned, a relationship is about 2 person. Personally, I feel that if 2 people cannot be as one then it really isn't much of a relationship.

:clapclap:

This is excellent! And yes, it would be best if his friends were her friends and her friends were his friends - that's a good one.

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They all say its all about trust. Well to me, in order to be trusted, you have to earn it to be trusted.

Me personally, i dont go out with other guy friends (unless theyre gay). I dont feel the need to go out with them... to all those places u mentioned especially.

Id rather my man be happy and secure. I dont like the jealousy feelings and thoughts of insecurities running through his head.

So its plain simple.... dont do things that u wouldnt want happening to you.

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...my gf we been together for about half a year now, when i told her about how uncomfortable i feel if she would went out with guys ( just 2 of them ) for dinner cum movie , she would be unhappy , seems she dun agree with it. Its actually just a exchange of thought. Am i oversensitive/possessive ? should i just let her have her freedom ? go out with guys freind one to one ....i dun mind she go out for dinner or lunch ,,,,,,but example dinner + shopping + movies....doesnt that feel like dating?.....do u girls think its ok to do that when u are in a relationship.its her 1st time relationship . thanks for opinion very much appreciated....

guys n gals , really appreciate all ur thoughts. My girl is 25, thru her talking , she seems mature compared to her age. Anyway i did talked to her on this and she told me not to worry and knows wat to do.

This has actually happened to me with my ex. exact situations....but our relationship are not strong enough i guess , too much quarrel . Just hope it wont happend again this time. My current is the type that has more male friends than girls. Which worries me .

I'm thinking not to push her but let her think for herself and in the same time try to refrain her from one on one with guys for movies , dinner yes , group sure ok . what do u all think?

After read all, I agreed to Queenie, Azxel, Cutiepie and Venni V V.

First of all - my piece of comment,

In your case, from what I'd perceived from your description, She is stepping over the line and she is testing water.

Why? There are 2 possiblities, one on you another on her! Most probably issue is revolving around you.

1. You're a boring person and "LOVE SPARK" vanished after a certain period of time from initial courtship to dating to current dating situation, perhaps even after you scored - sex. Did you evaluate yourself after your ex did the same thing as current gf (dating someone one on one)?

2. There are no thoroughly communications between you and her. She is leading and controlling the communication path/channel/ frequencies. She had shut you off quick, just like that by saying "I know what to do" - Excuse me- That's bullshit! She is tiring of your encounter way towards her. Sub-consciously, she knows what you're going to say, b4 you say it, she shut you off. If she really appreciated to her and your r/s - here comes TOLERANCE to kick in to play! She need to learn to tolerante you, be patient to you, discuss with you and listen to you.

Yeah, in this entire thread, there are some MYBians asked not to be harshed or whatsoever when you talk to her. NO, YOU GOTTA TO STAND UP LIKE A MAN AND TALK TO HER LIKE A MAN, STRAIGHT TO THE POINT, NOT HITTING THE BUSHES AROUND.

She told you she has you for her first love r/s. Trust it for 50-50.

My last piece of comment, don't let her be dominant/take charge/control again in this r/s.

Sometimes, I mean SOMETIMES, you gotta be practicing male chauvinism.

Worse case, you might say I am cruel. Ditch her and get yourself another one. Do make sure, evaluate yourself.

Take it easy otoman! Cheers!

Edited by Sam

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They all say its all about trust. Well to me, in order to be trusted, you have to earn it to be trusted.

Me personally, i dont go out with other guy friends (unless theyre gay). I dont feel the need to go out with them... to all those places u mentioned especially.

Id rather my man be happy and secure. I dont like the jealousy feelings and thoughts of insecurities running through his head.

So its plain simple.... dont do things that u wouldnt want happening to you.

you are great, but not much gals will like you, your bf should be very lucky :wink3:

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They all say its all about trust. Well to me, in order to be trusted, you have to earn it to be trusted.

Me personally, i dont go out with other guy friends (unless theyre gay). I dont feel the need to go out with them... to all those places u mentioned especially.

Id rather my man be happy and secure. I dont like the jealousy feelings and thoughts of insecurities running through his head.

So its plain simple.... dont do things that u wouldnt want happening to you.

Bravo, this answer is the best.

I am not a sexist but a girl without instruction is headed for destruction. :lol1:

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i don think gals n guys can be close frens... there is a spark for sure, maybe just for some reason the spark cant continue(this might for those loyal gals) for guys, no matter wat oso will continue the spark :rolleyes: , but i believe, just bcoz the spark cant continue, they will so called best best frens.... no matter how, i agree wit LuvMary lo TS, be careful anyway, no need too much time for them, one week is enough for them to spark up.... i have experience to share you this man......

i really dun agree with this i have alot of friends especially guys friend who were close with me

we go dinner, movie , club , drink , watch babes and dudes together

spark.. there is honestly no spark cos we confront each other that we both are just friends and it dont mean anything

just because we have the same intreast and hanging out dun mean we got anything

i got my bf so does he got his gf

why would my be is ok and his gf is ok even we go out only 2 of us

this relationship continued for 5 years nothing seems weird

guys n gals , really appreciate all ur thoughts. My girl is 25, thru her talking , she seems mature compared to her age. Anyway i did talked to her on this and she told me not to worry and knows wat to do.

This has actually happened to me with my ex. exact situations....but our relationship are not strong enough i guess , too much quarrel . Just hope it wont happend again this time. My current is the type that has more male friends than girls. Which worries me .

I'm thinking not to push her but let her think for herself and in the same time try to refrain her from one on one with guys for movies , dinner yes , group sure ok . what do u all think?

if she say not to worry and she knoew what to do u need to trust her den

she knoes what she would or can do and what she cant

oh gosh i do have more guys friend compare 2 gals but i am still loyal

refrain her is not a good thing she didnt did anything wrong also , u ask a bf refrain this and that what happens when after she married with u?

yea group sure ok but as long as she didnt did anything wrong should not refrain her

my bf have no prob of me going out with guys even one on one

hell yea even staying at his house he have no problem with that

whY? cos he trust me that me and my friend is only friend, best friend and i knoe what i shall or can do and what i cant

trusting is really important make sure u talk to her and let her knoe ur feelings about it and by this ur relationship will get stronger

* if u refrain her out withher friend u both might agrue and remember relationship is not strong, history will be repreted*

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Actually, not much to worry about your gf going out with his male friend. You feel uncomfortable because of your jealousy and insecurity.

There is possibility that the male will make a move on your gf but if she really love you nothing going to happen. Unless your gf think having an overnight with other men is not a big thing to her.

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...my gf we been together for about half a year now, when i told her about how uncomfortable i feel if she would went out with guys ( just 2 of them ) for dinner cum movie , she would be unhappy , seems she dun agree with it. Its actually just a exchange of thought. Am i oversensitive/possessive ? should i just let her have her freedom ? go out with guys freind one to one ....i dun mind she go out for dinner or lunch ,,,,,,but example dinner + shopping + movies....doesnt that feel like dating?.....do u girls think its ok to do that when u are in a relationship.its her 1st time relationship . thanks for opinion very much appreciated....

Whoaaa.... I almost got lost in here. I noticed my last visit was like eon's ago... somewhere like 24th August 2007...

Okie.. to the above "case study" ... it seems to me more like a classic questions which billions of times it has been asked and answered. Lemme get to the point.

1) You should always trust your girl.

2) Its right for you to express your concerns/uncomfortability (if there is such a word) to her. And the worst part.. women ALWAYS have the right to be UNHAPPY whenever a guy comment something to them. So, sometimes don't bother, you know you will NEVER make sense to them.

3) Relationship is about the 'feel' .. its not just about dinner+shopping+movies or sometimes the combo of dinner+shopping+movies+sex. It doesn't mean she's dating that guy.

4) You are neither over-sensitive nor over possesive.. cuz no one can tell you that as its a very subjective issue due to how people wanna perceive things from the angle they look at it.

5) Today is the 21st century and things have change therefore women attitude and views as individuals have changed too. Therefore, you shouldn't be a 'macho' head if you wanna have a more successful and fulfilling relationship. Learn and understand this tip... "Respect their freedom as what you would expect them to do the same for you".

Going out one on one doesn't mean crap to me. So, my advice to you dude is ... take an eagle eye view of this situation and believe in your confidence plus look at it in a positive way. She's happy, you should be too. Oh.. one more thing.. ladies don't like guys who don't have confidence in them and yourself. However, a pinch of caution.. don't get overly cocky about yourself too.. or you probably will lose out in the end.

Cheers,

Aikzhou aka IcEy :thumbup1:

Edited by Aikzhou a.k.a IcEy

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I don't see the problem. I do go out with someone's gf all the time. I don't have any motive.. just that she's a good friend of mine. Even if the guy have a motive, it's still not within your control. She still have the rights to choose. So, if you let off your frustration on your gf regarding this, chances are it will only spoil your relationship.

What you should do is, talk nicely to her.. tell her your feelings. Just tell her your feelings.. not DISALLOW her to go.

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