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NaughtybutNice

what should i do

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Hey guys, hope u guys can help me out with this! cuz i think im in a deep sh*t

I just got together with a guy recently who is much much more older than me. I guess i can say that this is like the 1st real relationship for me, cuz all my life ive never spent more than 1 month with a guy i was with.

Well, we went up to Cynna bar with some friends last night. and i got to dance with alot of guys. guess i just crossed the line a little bit too much, and he got pretty upset seeing me dancing and grinding with these fellas. However, ive never tried to kiss them or anything like that. Yes the guys did touch me here and there, and i guess they were just drunk. The whole time i was dancing, i could see the expression on my bf's face that apparently he did not like what he saw. Guilt kicked in, and i stopped.

I dont know how to put this honestly, but i think i was just so used to flirting around alot and stuff, and ive forgotten that i was actually in a relationship with him. I couldnt help picking up guys and blow kisses at them. All of these just hit me all of a sudden after he ignored me all the way home, and i broke down and cry. Ive hurt him, and i didnt realize what ive done was too much for him to take. I apologized to him in text, but he wouldnt accept it. His words in reply really made me feel like sh*t and i dont know what to do now.

I need to add something here. The whole we were there, all he wanted was to kiss, he wouldnt let me go off of his embrace and that made me really sick. Guess this is the thing when u bring along ur partners to a club eh?

i dont know, should i pujuk him, or just keep quiet until hes calmed? Please help me out :(

Edited by NaughtybutNice

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Well, if you really love him, then there's alot that you both have to work out between each other. Because, it seems to me that both parties still can't see beyond their partner's weaknesses/faults.

So, if you really wanna make it happen between you two..maybe you should tone down the flirting etc. You mentioned that you realized you made him hurt and it was too much for him to take. Personally, I think what you did at the club was too much for most guys as well. Noone likes their partner 'grinding', 'picking up guys' and 'blowing kisses at them'. Obviously, he can't take it. So either you tone down or get a bf who doesn't mind your flirtings etc.

Apologies if I offended you in any way..Hope all goes well in your relationship :)

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hello,

well,..maybe u dont like him as much as he likes u..

anyway, life is still a long journey, don't stress..things will work by itself

he will come to u, when he is not upset, he is just being like a kid..

getting jealous is good, i will happy, if bf is jealous, means he cares and loves..

he is just jealous, he still likes u, don't panic, its not like u slept with someone or something..

just do what u like, but let him know before hand, but he might not like u as much, when u have these 'requirement'.

cheers :)

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Thanks for the replies ladies.

Honestly, i wanted to tell him that maybe i need more time to suit myself in a new relationship with him. But at the same time, i dont wanna go through a day without him. There are more complicated things going on in our relationship (on his side, which i already put up with), but he seems to be giving me a conclusion already, without giving it a consideration. I dont know, maybe hes the type that wants to settle down, while im even yet to be legal to get into a club.

Guess i need a wake up call for me to realize what ive put myself into. Gosh...this is so hard :(

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Guess i need a wake up call for me to realize what ive put myself into. Gosh...this is so hard :(

i think you're too young to be owned by a guy. the trouble with these old fellars is that they are more used to getting what they want and are not so generous with things in general. so maybe within these year or two, you'd probably have a better experience and happiness with someone more intuned with your own growth. this is found with someone close to your age. later in life, you'll find it easier to open your horizons and include those old farts.

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Hey guys, hope u guys can help me out with this! cuz i think im in a deep sh*t

I just got together with a guy recently who is much much more older than me. I guess i can say that this is like the 1st real relationship for me, cuz all my life ive never spent more than 1 month with a guy i was with.

Well, we went up to Cynna bar with some friends last night. and i got to dance with alot of guys. guess i just crossed the line a little bit too much, and he got pretty upset seeing me dancing and grinding with these fellas. However, ive never tried to kiss them or anything like that. Yes the guys did touch me here and there, and i guess they were just drunk. The whole time i was dancing, i could see the expression on my bf's face that apparently he did not like what he saw. Guilt kicked in, and i stopped.

I dont know how to put this honestly, but i think i was just so used to flirting around alot and stuff, and ive forgotten that i was actually in a relationship with him. I couldnt help picking up guys and blow kisses at them. All of these just hit me all of a sudden after he ignored me all the way home, and i broke down and cry. Ive hurt him, and i didnt realize what ive done was too much for him to take. I apologized to him in text, but he wouldnt accept it. His words in reply really made me feel like sh*t and i dont know what to do now.

I need to add something here. The whole we were there, all he wanted was to kiss, he wouldnt let me go off of his embrace and that made me really sick. Guess this is the thing when u bring along ur partners to a club eh?

i dont know, should i pujuk him, or just keep quiet until hes calmed? Please help me out :(

How much older?

Personally, I think that it's ok to dance with other guys only if you know your boundaries. I also think that the whole "I'm so used to flirting around and stuff" is a load of crap. No offense, just sharing from a different perspective here. I think that for everything that you're about to do, perhaps it's best to look at things from his view as well before doing it. Everything you do has its consequences. Maybe it would be ok for you if he did the same as well, dancing and groping... I mean... touching other girls here and there but coming from a man's angle, I gotta admit that I, myself wouldn't even like it if my gf did that. Maybe, it's time to take a step back and think for yourself, what exactly do you want and what are you looking for?

I think he's just hurt (as well as upset). You did a big boo boo of a no-no in his eyes. It also didn't help that you realised it a bit too late. I think that it didn't go down that bad or else, he would have just left you right there and then at the club. It also kinda shows your lack of sincerity when you text him an apology. A call would have been better. As to whether you should pujuk him or keep quiet, I wouldn't really know. Everyone has their own way of reacting to situations. A proper apology (if you think you're wrong) would be a good start. Followed by a hug.

I think your bf is the super possessive type. Kissing and 'embracing' the whole time in a club, that's kinda lame. I take it that you two are just into the first month or two in this relationship? Did you suggest that you two go dancing? Drag him onto the dance floor even if he says he can't dance and lead him a bit.

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do you wanna settle down now? or do you have a tot bout that?

both of you need to sit down and talk over this,

if you wanna be with him, then you may have to stop flirting from now on, else just go on and have fun. but you may explore yourself to the risk where there wont be suitable candid for you when you finally wanna settle down.

have to understand, in a relationship= more and more commitments.

communication is the key, for guys like him, abit older and thinking to get married soon? they dun willing to share his "woman", not even blowing kisses.

no need pujuk him non-stop la, but sincere apology is a must. more is less, less is more. ask a chance to sit down and talk? if you din mean it, tell him so. mb he'll calm after a while and give you a call. :)

Edited by Aster

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Well.... simple to me....

Man matches Women

Boy matches Girl

If u are still a girl ... get a boy to be your partner.

If u are a women.... get a man to be your partner.

Man matches girl or boy matches women ..... is a big NO. Never gonna turn out to be good.

Bare that in mind ... these man, women, boy, girl thingy... is IRRELATED TO AGE. Is the maturity of your thoughts, your mindset and your perpective.

No offense~

Peace,

Cutiepie

Edited by cutiepie

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Well.... simple to me....

Man matches Women

Boy matches Girl

If u are still a girl ... get a boy to be your partner.

If u are a women.... get a man to be your partner.

Man matches girl or boy matches women ..... is a big NO. Never gonna turn out to be good.

Bare that in mind ... these man, women, boy, girl thingy... is IRRELATED TO AGE. Is the maturity of your thoughts, your mindset and your perpective.

No offense~

Peace,

Cutiepie

oh really? how does that explain 80 year old men that marry 20 year old girls? :P

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well.. i think.. mayb u should stop those flirting, and be more serious if u really think he's the one for u.. dun ever let go of tat chance.. once its gone.. it will never come back

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Does this sounds like you're with a guy, much older, financially stable, good man... which u think is very good and u'll have a good life with, but U don't actually love him? Hope not.

If it isn't like what I've said.. u got to ask yourself.. are you ready to settle down? From what I see, he is. He wanted to be with someone that can be his wife. If you haven't got that kind of mind set, then u should just leave him. Else.. stop BEECHING around. No guys of any age, will be OK to see his gf grinding other guys. Eww.. Even if that girl is not my gf.. if I sees her doing what u mentioned there.. I'll probably look down at her. Call me old-fashioned.

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In my opinion, regardless of whether you’re single or not you shouldn’t be grinding all these guys because it doesn’t really leave a very good impression. That said, it’s good that you realized how much you hurt him which shows you do have feelings for him. Try to talk things through and get his trust/confidence back because honey, he’s def not going to let you go to a club alone from now on after the incident. If you’re seeking fun then being in a r/ship isn’t for you. But if you really want to carry on with this, tone things down. Realize that you’re no longer single and know that changes have to be made. Good luck! Btw your bf seems quite tolerant coz most guys would have just called it off after seeing their gf behave in such a way. No offense.

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I would say you did cross the line and likewise you did the right thing in apologies to him. A text/sms is not enough to show your sincerity. Say it with sincerity that you have neglected his feelings and promise you will not do that again in front of him. What he cannot see, it is up to you to manage yourself. Try to put yourself in his shoe and the whole perspective changes dramatically. :) Hope you guys will patch up soon...

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oh really? how does that explain 80 year old men that marry 20 year old girls? :P

Well I guess it's really really rare... ... and I think that's for a reason at the back though. ....: lol:....

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Thanks for all the SUPPORTIVE replies guys.

Yes, we managed to patch things up, and everything is going good. However, theres some issues in my relationship with him that i needed to get it out my chest. For that, i am going to post a new topic in this same section too.

Thank u again.

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