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trixie_

Is he still worth it?

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Hi guys., I know in one of my posts I was askng bout the other guy, but actually. I really don't understand the situation im in right now. Im sorry its a long post.

I had been with this guy for over two years, already approaching three. In March this year, he left for Australia to study there for around a year or so. Our relationship was always so strong and all, and weve gone through so much together that even other people are amazed that were still together after all the crap we went through. So when he left, things were all good, yeah the loneliness was there, but we promised to wait for one another till he comes back. And yeah, I waited patiently, and we'd always talk and all and everything was going so well.

When he turned 18 in JUly, our relationship starting getting screwed up. He suddenly told me he started smoking, and yeah I got upset, but I could still accept it. Then as days passed by, we were still doing good until suddenly, for a week or two, he started acting all weird with me. I felt something was wrong, but didnt know what, until one day, he told me that he wanted to be single and hanve his freedom. Obviously i was crushed and I was so upset and all. I mean, wth rite? Suddenly he started saying that he doesnt think he can be loyal to me and all and i was wondering what was going on. In the end he finally told me. He almost slept with another girl. Not only that, she was a prostitute. And he did that when we were still together.

I was so upset I cried for days. I couldnt concentrate on my studies, and everything seriously turned so f-ed up. I mean, hey, I felt LOST. I love this guy so much then he sudenly does all this. Asks for all this. He told me I was being selfish and I didnt want to respect his decision. I'm like wth, who the hecks the one being selfish. I NEVER expected shit like that and . you know. It happened.

He told me he wanted to stay friends, and wanted me to forgive him and all. I told him to js go away. I blocked and deleted him off my msn and just tried to get over it. A week or two I was okay, I wasn't happy, yet I wasnt sad either. He called me alotta times but I never answered, until a few days ago. I picked up the phone and we talked, he asked me how I was. how was life tht kinda thing. And BOOM. I started eing all emo after the phone call and wanted to cry and stuff..

Sigh. What does he want from me..? I wana get over him, but its just so hard.. :(

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Wo, what a long post :rolleyes: but i've read all of that....

Well, as you know he ady did this to you and yet he is the 1 who wanna break up, so what i've to say is just forget it...

i know it's hard for you to forget bout it since you like him so much...

there got 2 choices for you, as you mentioned, blocked or delete his contact and try to avoid him all the time...

2nd is try to be friends with him since he want to....

But for my advice here, if you really wanna release this burden, then try to be friend with him.... just be a normal friend, chat bout those daily stuff...

you must let it go, it'll be benefit for you and time will heal it...

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I realised you are 18? or younger?

Age is not a big matter here, whether you are 18 or 58, you will still fall in love and get entangled in a relationship...can't stop thinking why you can be so mesmerized and can't stop forcing yourself to get out of the shitty situation...

Girl, all I can say it's not easy for LDR. It takes a lot from the two of you to work out the relationship, not mentioning to sustain / maintain it. My personal view is both of you are entering the prime years, seeking the fun, tasting the full-fledged freedom and of course he gets it more than you coz he's overseas; no parents ( i suppose), no close watch from relatives and total foreign...and when he gets all this, i doubt if he wants commitment at this moment....

of course, there could be other arguments to my biased view...i was in LDR before this, and I strongly feel that the one who stays behind are the ones who feel more stinging pain than the ones who left for other places to work or study...somehow their mind are more occupied with stuff...getting used to new place, goin out, meeting new friends, making new connections and so on....

Think it through before jumping the gun to get back into the relationship...have a good chat with him to find out what he really wants first...all the best :)

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I strongly feel that the one who stays behind are the ones who feel more stinging pain than the ones who left for other places to work or study...

I agree with what you said. turning 18, many things are changing, ppl, lifestyles, interest etc. I think every couple has to compromise to each other to get thro this few "young adult" years. to make thing worses, it's a LDR.

LDR is really really tough. if he loves you deep enough, he'll sure keep his heart and ofcz his body to you and only you, and he'll understand the commitment he's having, behave and so on. if he doesnt have this mindset, you can just forget about him, cz nobody could make sure or control wht's he doing out there.

If he ever bother to call you over and over again. mb means that he's still care bout u? if it really so, mb there is still a chance for compromisation. but b4 tht pls, make sure he didnt really sleep with any prostitude. cz if he did, he nv bother to walk in your shoes!! nv bother whether it'll hurt you anot.

mb you can try offering some harsh conditions, see whether he's willing to follow to hold you back. if he's not willing to sacrify anything for you, just let go. cz this is just the beginning, if you still wanna hold on, be prepared cz there is long way to go. more things to come in mb smthg more terrible? it'll be like adding salt to your wound. dun hurt yourself when he doesnt worth your love. take care :)

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Hey trixie,

I bet this must be your first love right? First love is always hard to let go. You are still young and still alot to learn. Don't be sad. Stay strong and just learn from it. You will find a much better bf in the future. If you don't let go of the old one, how is the new one comes to your life? So, I say just forget about him and move on to a better one.

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Girl, all I can say it's not easy for LDR. It takes a lot from the two of you to work out the relationship, not mentioning to sustain / maintain it. My personal view is both of you are entering the prime years, seeking the fun, tasting the full-fledged freedom and of course he gets it more than you coz he's overseas; no parents ( i suppose), no close watch from relatives and total foreign...and when he gets all this, i doubt if he wants commitment at this moment....

Agree.

Environmental changes do change a person's thoughts, actions and wants.

Still, i feel you should try to talk about this relationship with him again. He hurt you, yea. But don't just block him off like that. Perhaps he's facing some pressure being abroad and he's just confuse. He contacted you numerous times which means he still cares. Try to get an understanding from him first.

However, if he's still so adamant about going solo, then just let him go. At least you've tried. You'll just need some time and valuable company to get you through. And the next thing you'll know, someone better will be knocking at your door :wink3::D

Edited by mandyherlove

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Hi guys., I know in one of my posts I was askng bout the other guy, but actually. I really don't understand the situation im in right now. Im sorry its a long post.

I had been with this guy for over two years, already approaching three. In March this year, he left for Australia to study there for around a year or so. Our relationship was always so strong and all, and weve gone through so much together that even other people are amazed that were still together after all the crap we went through. So when he left, things were all good, yeah the loneliness was there, but we promised to wait for one another till he comes back. And yeah, I waited patiently, and we'd always talk and all and everything was going so well.

When he turned 18 in JUly, our relationship starting getting screwed up. He suddenly told me he started smoking, and yeah I got upset, but I could still accept it. Then as days passed by, we were still doing good until suddenly, for a week or two, he started acting all weird with me. I felt something was wrong, but didnt know what, until one day, he told me that he wanted to be single and hanve his freedom. Obviously i was crushed and I was so upset and all. I mean, wth rite? Suddenly he started saying that he doesnt think he can be loyal to me and all and i was wondering what was going on. In the end he finally told me. He almost slept with another girl. Not only that, she was a prostitute. And he did that when we were still together.

I was so upset I cried for days. I couldnt concentrate on my studies, and everything seriously turned so f-ed up. I mean, hey, I felt LOST. I love this guy so much then he sudenly does all this. Asks for all this. He told me I was being selfish and I didnt want to respect his decision. I'm like wth, who the hecks the one being selfish. I NEVER expected shit like that and . you know. It happened.

He told me he wanted to stay friends, and wanted me to forgive him and all. I told him to js go away. I blocked and deleted him off my msn and just tried to get over it. A week or two I was okay, I wasn't happy, yet I wasnt sad either. He called me alotta times but I never answered, until a few days ago. I picked up the phone and we talked, he asked me how I was. how was life tht kinda thing. And BOOM. I started eing all emo after the phone call and wanted to cry and stuff..

Sigh. What does he want from me..? I wana get over him, but its just so hard.. :(

I'm gonna go out of the way here and just say this...

Get your bloody act together. Your parents are spending hard earned money for you to get a proper education (well, I'm sure they are as I doubt you're actually working to self support your studies). So count to 100, calm down, and get your head back on again and hit the books. No offence but screw relationships and lovey dovey stuff for now as you'd get plenty of that once you complete your studies.

How to get over him? Channel your focus and your life into something more productive. Go out, play sports, make new friends, study hard, think about your future, think about what you wanna do with your life. Shit happens but we all have our two feet to move on with life.

Don't bother keeping in contact with him. If he calls, tell him you need your space and time alone. Delete off your MSN if you need to. Start off a new MSN account or something.

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I'm gonna go out of the way here and just say this...

Get your bloody act together. Your parents are spending hard earned money for you to get a proper education (well, I'm sure they are as I doubt you're actually working to self support your studies). So count to 100, calm down, and get your head back on again and hit the books. No offence but screw relationships and lovey dovey stuff for now as you'd get plenty of that once you complete your studies.

How to get over him? Channel your focus and your life into something more productive. Go out, play sports, make new friends, study hard, think about your future, think about what you wanna do with your life. Shit happens but we all have our two feet to move on with life.

Don't bother keeping in contact with him. If he calls, tell him you need your space and time alone. Delete off your MSN if you need to. Start off a new MSN account or something.

Yeap, I have to agree with Azxel. You are dating a boy, he wants his freedom. He's immature, what do you expect from a guy at his AGE?

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my response is similar 2 wat some1 above said : yur 1st love is usually d hardest...

i was really lucky 2 have my 1st gf ( through THICK & thin ) for 6-7 yrs.. and thereafter my rships just went downhill ;P lolz..

nvrtheless... enuf said bout me, back 2 u .. i'd tink that wat u really need, is lots of close & good friends.. surround yurself with good company, surround yurself with work or activities/ hobbies or doing something meaningful like charity work or volunteeer work.. and immerse yourself in so much business, that you don't have time to think.. open yur eyes, and LIVE LIFE.. there's so much more to see, (and as every guy wud console another guy who just broke up : THERE ARE MANY MORE FISH OUT IN THE SEA!!! ) :P

as this is a situation i've seen many times, all i can do is pray that you find your inner happiness.. and when you regain the confidence and capability to stand up INDEPENDANTLY, i'm sure someone even better will come along yur way, and light up your life again.

may you live life like you've never lived be4.. love yourself before u love others...

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A man provides security and love for his girlfriend,

A man defends his girlfriend when face adversity,

A man supports his girlfriend through thick and thin,

A man values his girlfriend as much as he values his life,

That's a real man.

A boy plays WOW more than he entertains you,

A boy likes to brag without substance,

A boy has no money to surprise you with flowers and gifts,

A boy doesn't have real life priorities.

That's why more and more younger girls are dating older guys.

Here's an advise from your fellow sisters, listen to the song.

Edited by AdamG

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I agree with the peeps above. He's still young and most boys dont know what they really want in a relationship. Especially if its a steady relationship.

Though in my past ive been with a few young guys that were only 1 or 2 yrs older than me, it never lasted long. Theyre just not mature enough for me, and all they want in life is excitment and fun. You just dont feel SECURE at all. After that experience, ive never ever been with a guy thats young, he's gotta be atleast 5-6 yrs older than me.

He told me he wanted to stay friends, and wanted me to forgive him and all. I told him to js go away. I blocked and deleted him off my msn and just tried to get over it. A week or two I was okay, I wasn't happy, yet I wasnt sad either. He called me alotta times but I never answered, until a few days ago. I picked up the phone and we talked, he asked me how I was. how was life tht kinda thing. And BOOM. I started eing all emo after the phone call and wanted to cry and stuff..

Sigh. What does he want from me..? I wana get over him, but its just so hard..

Well atleast he still wants to be friends, and maybe he doesnt wanna make it seem like cuz he did something wrong... the 2 of you are enemies and hate each other. Maybe he still wanna be friends and keep in contact, just to know that ur doin fine and cuz he cares for you (as a friend)

Some people (like me) prefer not to keep in contact with ex's, and some do...

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Thanks a lot for the advice everyone :)

Yeah, Im turnin 18 next month. Hahaha :whistling:

I don't think I want to keep in contact with him anymore.. ALthough what u guys said bout the whole he cares as a friend thing. I dont know, it just doesnt feel right. I know I seem like an idiot cos of the whole depression thing and all, but its just really hard. I want to get over it, its just that it sometimes just pop's up in my head and kinda gets me down. Am slowly trying to recover though.

It just kills me thinking that he just mite not be bothered with how I feel cause he keeps acting as though he didnt do anyting wrong. :mumbling:

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I totally agree with everyone's contribution to this thread.

Don't blame yourself for being down, of course you will be unless you weren't serious in the relationship. You will just need to think positively and focus on other things in your life: your studies, your friends, your hobbies, etc. You're still young, the road ahead of you is very long. Don't let something like this bother you for too long. Pick yourself up and move on. He's not worthed your time and feelings. The good thing about LDR is that you can test the loyalty of your partner.

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Its good uve made a decision :) For me, the fastest way to get over it.. is to have nothing to do with him, and anything and everything thats gotta do with him (presents, pics, sms etc...) get rid of ALL.

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Learn how to separate the boys from the men and you be aaaaa okay. :)

I agree but most men are taken. How leh? ^_^

Same rule for me. I am only interested in guys much older....like 5-10 yrs older

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trixie, just move on. if an apple has turned bad, it's better to look for a new good apple than to hope for the bad apple to become fresh again...

make yourself busy and he'll be out of your mind soon. you're still soooo young. enjoy yr youth. meet more people.

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Sigh 5-10 years older. Whoaa. :o

Sometimes I feel like I should just turn lesbian. v_v

Aih I dont knowwwww. I cant control myself. I blocked and deleted him off msn, and told him to not call me anymore.. I mean, I HATE LDR!! Seriously don't guys think of their partners before doing something? Freedom or not, come on lah ur hurting another persons feelings to the MAX. :chair::bash:

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I also lost my bf to LDR. Not once but twice. I have LDR phobia now.

It's just not easy and nobody knows how hard it is unless you are in it. Nevermind. You haven't invest a lot of your time in that relationship and you have a lot of time to spare. So why do you worry? Be strong, girl

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sigh.. i understand ur condition, trixie.

forget someone who u truly loved before, it's really a tough job.. regardless how many sinful things that he'd done..

i'd say time is the best healer.. right?

all the best, trixie! :)

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Good Day Trixie.

Is he still worth it or not? It's all about your call, okay!

It's your choice. All we can do, advice and leave you alone.

No one will sympathy to you if you get hurt just because you DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT U'RE DOING!

This society is cruel. No more good ppl will guide you all the way no more.

Yes, agreed with most of peeps up there.

1. Education please. Boost your knowledge to another level instead of spending time brooding over and over on why, how, adui, alamak, I am les......that's all nonsense.

With educated mind, it comes along with package, your personality, your point of view to this life, one word at the end, YOU WILL MATURE

Apparently, excuse me been harsh here. Yes, you'll be 18. Who cares, no one cares! Coz you're still 18 with naive and immature mind.

2. Identify Boys and MEN. Perhaps, Get in touch with AdamG. Let him gives you a lesson from A-Z in Love & R/S!

Sam's piece of advice.

End of the day in Love & R/S life, we're all PLAYA. Whoever master the game well, whoever conquer the other one and shall he/her be your S.O. Good Luck, Trixie!

Cheers!

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I agree but most men are taken. How leh? ^_^

Kirst88, you missed something here in MYB.

You have too many choices.

First Toppest priority - ADAMG. :lol::lol1:

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Kirst88, you missed something here in MYB.

You have too many choices.

First Toppest priority - ADAMG. :lol::lol1:

:clapclap: Not many girls can handle me Sam! :)

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Hi trixie, relationship are complex and distance adds up some more problem to deal with.

LDR can work provided both of you are mature, committed, honest, trustworthy, patient, who love each other and most importantly both of you put strong effort in it. This is way too much work for young girl and boy like you (especially boy).

When come to this situation we can't just listen to one party. I kinda agree with what mandy said above because first thing is he still being honest with you by telling you the truth what he is doing - smoking and the girl he is seeing is a prostitute? Hmm... prostitute, it's not like getting a new gf and dump you. Btw, he haven't do it right? He respect you. I think he is under pressure by new environment, studies and stuff add up to it. Maybe he go for this way to "release" his tension. But because he is in a relationship with you, he feel bad of cheating so that's why he wants the freedom by breaking up with you so that he won't feel guilty if he do anything wrong. He still call you a few times after that mean he still care for you either as a friend or anything. Anyway, this is just my assumption, i might be wrong. You should maybe try talk to him for the last time and understand his situation. Clear all the doubt. Even if it still going to end, at least end in a good and clear way so you can forget him more easy. After all you both already have such long relationship. You should have roughly know what kind of guy he is. But if you already move on, then move on. You are only like what, 18? The best is to concentrate on your studies. Still so young, many love story to go :lol:

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