Nat_Nat0Lie 0 Report post Posted September 12, 2007 I have this serious problem that I cant trust anyone around me.Be it friends, boyfriends, family, acquiantance, whatever, I just keep thinking people cant be trustedAnd this makes my social life die..Any advice to reduce this step by step? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mandyherlove 0 Report post Posted September 12, 2007 I have this serious problem that I cant trust anyone around me.Be it friends, boyfriends, family, acquiantance, whatever, I just keep thinking people cant be trustedAnd this makes my social life die..Any advice to reduce this step by step? Well, it seems this issue with trust turned you into an introvert. the first step is, you must recognise your fear towards people. why do you think that people can't be trusted? slowly tackle your problem from here. You've got to learn to open up yourself sometimes. When i say open up, i don't mean revealing your closet's skeletons, instead you can reveal more surface details about yourself. Don't be afraid to get hurt or betrayed. If it so happens, that betrayal will only make you a stronger person and you'll be wiser in selecting your circle of aquaintances. You're not responsible to create some kind of trust with each and everyone. Be more flexible about socializing. Take the initiative to get to know someone better before judging about their trustworthiness. If you find them 'safe' and likeable, keep them around you. If its the opposite, just keep those friendships casual.step 1: tackle the fear factor. why?step 2: open upstep 3: be optimistic about betrayalstep 4: practice flexibility Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aster 0 Report post Posted September 12, 2007 (edited) I was used to have similar problem. but not bcz of trust, it's bcz I'm fear of socializing, it always make me feel very uncomfortable, like they are keeping everything away from me. feeling kind of isolated, abandoned...like what mandy said... I believe optimistic thinking will help you alot really really alot! human mindset is really special and weird sometimes, nobody can help you in thinking, you have face it youself. then you'll get your lovely smilies back... sometimes, lies mb used to protect you? who knows Edited September 12, 2007 by Aster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miseer 0 Report post Posted September 12, 2007 ya.. mandy is right~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Azxel 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2007 I have this serious problem that I cant trust anyone around me.Be it friends, boyfriends, family, acquiantance, whatever, I just keep thinking people cant be trustedAnd this makes my social life die..Any advice to reduce this step by step?You don't have to trust anyone or everyone just to be sociable. You can go out, make friend, have a fun time with people, enjoy life and all without 'suffering' under the hypocrisy of others. I personally think that you need not be so opened up in order to be sociable. You might need to learn to draw the line when it comes to friendship though. There are a lot of overrated definitions of what a friend is or what a friend should be, etc. It's unfortunate that a lot of people are dreamers and these overrated definitions fill your mind and mess with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nat_Nat0Lie 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2007 Thanks guys, for all the encouragement!well, if you don't trust, its like fake...ewverything is so fake,becos I am not being myself, but instead just being sociable,which I dont like to do, that is why I want to learn how to trust people.I now learn to make simple steps to maintain friends.Cos, sometimes I just get really sensitive over small stuff!*cheers* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Namiko Abe 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2007 I have this serious problem that I cant trust anyone around me.Be it friends, boyfriends, family, acquiantance, whatever, I just keep thinking people cant be trustedAnd this makes my social life die..Any advice to reduce this step by step? Getting someone who is similar to you : Give up. If you don't find it along the course of life, you can't do anything about it. Once you learn that differences are a necessity in your life and it is what makes you relate to others, to expand your thoughts, theories and beliefs : you'll become peaceful. Good luck. It will take time to get adapted to it, but from personal experience, it is worth learning to communicate with other people and open your heart to them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bernice 0 Report post Posted September 15, 2007 Thanks guys, for all the encouragement!well, if you don't trust, its like fake...ewverything is so fake,becos I am not being myself, but instead just being sociable,which I dont like to do, that is why I want to learn how to trust people.I now learn to make simple steps to maintain friends.Cos, sometimes I just get really sensitive over small stuff!*cheers*i tink i have the same prob as urs..i always tink the guy i like is lying to me about everything..becuz he sounds so..though he said no...and frens..i always tink they always talk about me behind my back but when i ask them they said dunhv...n i keep askin them to tell me straight if there's anytin..at least let me knoe..my studies are always affected becuz of this thinking...y is it so hard for me to trust ppl.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nat_Nat0Lie 0 Report post Posted September 15, 2007 i tink i have the same prob as urs..i always tink the guy i like is lying to me about everything..becuz he sounds so..though he said no...and frens..i always tink they always talk about me behind my back but when i ask them they said dunhv...n i keep askin them to tell me straight if there's anytin..at least let me knoe..my studies are always affected becuz of this thinking...y is it so hard for me to trust ppl..Add me in msn. then we can support each other:)--> nat_nat0lie@hotmail.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CyBeR 0 Report post Posted September 25, 2007 (edited) I have this serious problem that I cant trust anyone around me.Be it friends, boyfriends, family, acquiantance, whatever, I just keep thinking people cant be trustedAnd this makes my social life die..Any advice to reduce this step by step? Thanks guys, for all the encouragement!well, if you don't trust, its like fake...ewverything is so fake,becos I am not being myself, but instead just being sociable,which I dont like to do, that is why I want to learn how to trust people.I now learn to make simple steps to maintain friends.Cos, sometimes I just get really sensitive over small stuff!*cheers*I don't trust anyone either. Think you have it bad? I've not found more than a few (only 3 or 4 people!) whom I trust with anything I can't afford to lose (be it heart, friendship or whatever) since 1989.But hey, you don't HAVE to trust someone in order to be friends or to have a social life. Think about it. I don't even trust my mom or dad. :S Edited September 25, 2007 by CyBeR Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthem 0 Report post Posted September 26, 2007 cant trust anyone is better than to trust everybody.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
douglas 0 Report post Posted September 29, 2007 We r only human ..... our behaviour can change from time to time depending on the situation n environment factors ..... a long time good fren can betray u anytime no matter how strong the bond n relationship between u n them. Sometimes options r limited n i would say most of the human r selfish ..... we'll try our best to choose an option tat has minimal impact on ourselves. trust is how much confident you hav to depend on other to make a decision that will hav direct impact on urself. Normally people with anti social behaviour will suffer from anti trust issue ..... socialize can provide u information about ur fren which gives u a better understanding of their behaviour in different situation ..... this will help u to decide how much trust u can put on him when u r dealing in certain situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites