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yammy

Can you forgive your man if he is two timing you?

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Wah! I recently found out that a lot of men (in their late 30s, 40s and 50s) where I'm working are two timing their wifes! :blink::blink:

Even though I was kind of expecting it since their wives are outstation (and you can just guess how these lonely uncles would entertain themselves), I kind of felt sorry for the wives... I think their wives probably know it too, but just don't say anything. :doh:

I don't think I can forgive my man if he has a gf/mistress outside. Seriously, I would break up/divorce him. Can you forgive your man if he does that?

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My man is my man,i won't share it with anyone else.. NOWAY.. but psychology i wan to break up wit him and mentally i wan to listen to his explaination or maybe give him one last chance.. if i love him so so much,everyone deserves at least one last chance :mumbling:

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Personally I think we should forgive. But I don't believe in giving people too many chances. I always say, the first time I consider it a mistake; the second time I will give one more chance; but if I forgive a third time either I am a fool or they are.

Forgiveness is a thing that makes the world a better place. After all we are all human and make mistakes. Just remember there is a fine line between being merciful and being a fool.

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I WON'T FORGIVE HIM!!! EVER! Actually, it doesn't surprise me because i've seen so many uncles got gfs. Most of girls are young too I really dun know why they want to be with an uncle who has a wife. Strange girls... Sometimes i think it could be money thats why the girls dun mind dating wth them

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one word.... NO

will there still be trust there if i were to forgive him?

he did it once, what makes me think he wont do it again?

does he really love me if he can actually have the heart to do this to me?

if i can stay loyal, so can he.

i may give him one more chance, but the wound will never heal... if u drop a china and break it into a million pieces, just glueing it back will not get rid of the imperfections and SCARS.... that's what the heart is like. please, if you love yourself, take care of your heart.... dun allow anyone to smash it up....

everybody deserves a second chance yes..... BUT .... how much is too much? what makes something unforgivable? does he deserve a second chance after what he's done? do u love him that much that u are willing to sacrifice your trust, happiness and sanity to forgive him?

just like spousal abuse.... he hits u... then the next day he says sorry and give u presents..... then he hits u again.... saying sorry and gives u presents.... (repeat countless times) .... until one day, he beats u to death.... then will he still say sorry and give u presents? are u still willing to forgive him even on your death bed? did he mean it when he said he was sorry? if he did, why did he still hit u again and again and finally to death?

chance? it is worth it? cheating is cheating.... in a game, you get penalized for it regardless of your excuses..... you cannot change the fact that he has cheated on you... flirted with other girls .... slept with other girls..... if u forgive him, can u forget that he did such things? can u still give your body to him? IS IT WORTH IT?

NO

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I forgive but won't forget. Being angry at someone takes up too much energy for me. If my other half decides to stray away to entertain himself with another girl, I will be upset for sure but I will also convince myself he's not worth my tears.

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My man is my man,i won't share it with anyone else.. NOWAY.. but psychology i wan to break up wit him and mentally i wan to listen to his explaination or maybe give him one last chance.. if i love him so so much,everyone deserves at least one last chance :mumbling:

agree with natalie.... i'll act like her act...

cannot shared with other... :mumbling::mumbling::mumbling:

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it depends. if i'm married & with kids, i can't be so selfish & divorce him as i do not want to risk of having my kids to grow up in a broken family. it's not tht i'm discriminating broken family. but i want what's best for my family. it's not easy when you already have a family of your own when this happens. yes, saying No & asking for a divorce might sounds so easy for us now as we have yet to experience it.

my best friend's(bf....not boyfriend but best friend) dad cheated on her mom the very 1st time when she was young & her mum forgave her dad. then the 2nd time came 2 years ago. my bf & her brother were already grown up & they know how to think. they told their mum not to forgive their dad anymore because it's the second time & there will most probably be a third. even though my bf was sad but she knows tht's the best for her mum & the reason why her mum took her dad back because of her brother & her.

if my kids were to tell tht to me, then i would certinly divorce him as i know my kids understand me. if my kids are still small, then i would forgive him...i don't want my kids to come from a broken family.

if it's in a relationship then it would be a definite NO. my ex cheated on me & it took me a long time to recover. i have been in relationships but none lasted(tht is till my current relationship). i have trust issues ever since tht. the scar stays on forever. i tried acceptin my ex back when he came back to me. but no. i couldn't do it. i will keep on reminding myself how much he hurt me.

even though i forgave him after awhile, but the memory lives on.

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Andrienne , U are Right :clapclap:

Only you know what you want and what is best for you.

But that doesn't mean you have to forget .

i hope it won't happend on myself.

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I don't like to share.

Either he stays with me and me only or grant me a divorce.

Anyhooo...

I know this guy-who's a friend of my boyfriend's.He's in his late 20's..married to a lovely wife(think Stepford wifela ha)..who adores him as if he is God himself...and has a kid.

Every Wednesday,Thursday,Friday and Saturday night-EVERY WEEK-he will bring back a girl to his apartment-

near the Taman Tun Muslim cemetery.I think it's called Desa Kiara or something.

I'm sorry....but I detest men like that.

Your wife is like..every guy's dream wife-who's at your beck and call 24/7 yet you treat her like shit? Yet you screw around?

Meh.

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No way... I'll never forgive such a man, despite how much I love him, I cannot tolerate such things. Divorce please!!!

By then he'll be down on his knees, begging me to forgive him :lol: *I sound like some maniac*

I don't like him becoming intimate with other girls/woman and he should respect it. If I was the one two-timing, he would have gotten so furious... :P

Those women out there should stand up for themselves. Don't let their husbands abuse them like that. Maybe they should go for some counselling. :)

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You all expect your man to be perfect? And does he expect you to be perfect? Are you perfect? Is he?

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no one is perfect and that is the fact

but we should always aim and strive for perfection

but in this case, it's not about being the perfect wife/gf or perfect hubby/bf

it's about respect between 2 people

and how trust comes about

trust and respect is not a one way thing

it's two-way

anyway, if i find him two-timing, i will just let him go

why bother to salvage his heart when it's no longer yours

then again, when reality strucks, it is not as easy as what you think..

zzz

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no one is perfect and that is the fact

but we should always aim and strive for perfection

but in this case, it's not about being the perfect wife/gf or perfect hubby/bf

it's about respect between 2 people

and how trust comes about

trust and respect is not a one way thing

it's two-way

anyway, if i find him two-timing, i will just let him go

why bother to salvage his heart when it's no longer yours

then again, when reality strucks, it is not as easy as what you think..

zzz

agreed with u...but if he do love u still,how?

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agreed with u...but if he do love u still,how?

and im quite sure that you still do love him too..

that's why i say no matter how strong you insist that you cannot tolerate all these things, when it really happens to you in real life, it's just not that easy to let go..

it's not that easy to do than say..

tat's why life is a big struggle

we just have to struggle struggle struggle for what we think is best for ourselves

keke

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No.

My bf knows what will happen if he ever cheats on me.

I agree with Shadowprincess... practically took the words right outta my mouth.

No one is perfect... but u can control urself cant u? Some men just need to start using their brains to think. and not their dicc.

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just my 2 cents worth of opinion

If it was the first time, then forgive lor. If ur partner truely realise the mistake and is willing to change. No on is perfect mar. Some times things happen out of impulse. I m not saying this bcoz i m a guy.

If my future GF/wife is cheating on me, i will first find out why. well, i may be due to my mistake also, maybe like not spending enough time with her.

I m not trying to switch the blame, cheating in a relationship is wrong... no matter what.

But if both ppl really love each other, why not give it one more chance.

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somehow, it has nothing to do with being perfect or not.... in fact, it has nothing to do with being perfect.... it's about controlling your behaviour and lust.... it's about getting your priorities straight.... it's about being loyal.... you dont have to be perfect to be able to do this.

do i expect by bf/hubby to be perfect? hell no..... i acknowledge the fact that we are all imperfect with tons of room for improvement. however, cheating on your partner has nothing to do with whether u are perfect or not.

if he really loves you, why would he cheat? it's only when he feels unsatisfied with you, when he found someone who could fulfil his needs better than you, when he doesnt really love you anymore, when he takes you for granted, when he lets his dick do all the thinking or when he takes u for a fool that he'll cheat on you .... same goes to girls who cheat....

how can u say that he truly truly love YOU when he just had an awesome "woohoo" with another girl? he feels bad and remorse? well of course he will... coz he knows it's wrong... but how much does he mean it? if he does it the second time, YOU KNOW he does not mean anything he said about how sorry he was or all that bullshit.... and you... you were a fool to forgive him.... sometimes, when you've been together for a long time, u tend to take each other for granted.... it has become part of your life that you will be together.... you think that it's forever... you cant imagine a day without the other person (although you are not sure if there is still love) .... do you know why he feels sorry? it's because the thought of not waking up with u beside him scares him... coz he's not used to it... he has always assumed that you'll be there for him.... this is DEPENDENCE..... not love.....

just my two cents....

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Actually this does have everything to do with perfection. If we were all perfect, the question wouldn't come up, would it?

If you can accept that no one is perfect, then you're already saying that you don't expect him to be perfect in his faithfulness. Relationships are for life. If you don't want to keep him, then don't impose such rules. it's not fair for him to live by such rules, nor will it be for him to expect the same of you in such a case.

If you accept that a relationship is for life, then you may expect him to do his best to be faithful. Sure it sucks if he fails. It also sucks when our girls fail to meet our expectations, but such is life. If I expect my girl to meet my expectations in all the ways that are important to me, all of the time, then I might as well not have one.

I have been faithful to all my girls all of my life -- so far. I can't imagine that I'd ever be unfaithful. But you've got to remember that everyone has their limits. If we're tempted and still are able to resist to some degree, maybe we can find a way out, but if we're tempted and cornered? What do you expect us to do, knock the girl over the head and face the assault (and perhaps rape) charges the next day? Would you accept that sort of explanation? Or are you more likely to think that (perhaps) we did do it - after all the girl is our type...

See where I'm at?

Personally I don't think much of guys who fall for it time and again. Like I said earlier - I give everyone the benefit of the doubt -- once for being human and prone to mistakes, the second because I've found out how much it eats into my happiness to not forgive. The third time I write them off as fools (they don't learn from their mistakes, do they?) and disassociate myself.

I wouldn't tell you to follow me, but wouldn't you like a second chance for some honest mistake in your past? There's this saying that I believe in -- if you want the world to change, begin with yourself.

So I say, take it easy on yourself. Give yourself a second chance.

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hmmm cyber, i do get what u mean.... but it just doesnt work for me, i do agree with some of your points definately... but unfortunately, it's not what i believe in personally.... i know i will not cheat on my bf/hubby no matter what.... i have had guys who try to try their moves on me.. and yes, some of them are really hot.... was i tempted? of course!! (this is imperfection... human temptation and greed) .... but did i fail to keep my head? no (imperfection stops here.. conscience and consciousness steps in) .... you are given a brain to use. so make full use of it.... this is where you think before u act. and what about your heart? wouldnt your heart say the right thing usually? if his heart is truly yours, it should be strong enough to stop him even if his upper brain fails ....

deserve a second chance? like i said.... it depends... is it forgivable? how much is too much? how far did it go? did he have sex with her? why did he have sex with her? was he drunk? all i'm saying is, you shouldnt just blindly say "oooohhh.... everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt... oooohhh everyone deserves a second chance...." and blindly forgive him.... can u forgive a murderer? i bet not... what if this murderer killed your family member? isnt this the same as someone u TRULY love, turns around and crushes your heart right in front of your face and watch it crumble into a million pieces at your feet? to me, it is the same.....

tempted and cornered? is a girl that strong? (yea.. sound a bit prejudiced here.. but honestly.... how strong can she be to corner a GUY?) hitting the girl in the head wouldnt be necessary.... i'm sure that if he really wants to stop it, he can. unless of course he starts thinking with his dick. yes, it depends on the situation too.... IF a swarm of girls (swarm = more = stronger), kidnaped him and raped him, i will forgive him as it's not his fault.... but if he willingly had sex with another girl/girls... it's a whole different story.

i guess it all comes down to personal acceptance level.... some ppl tend to be more forgiving.... some ppl are not.... different ppl have different limits.... i do have a lot of respect for ppl who are forgiving .... but not ffor ppl who are fools.... there is a lot of difference between the two.

trust is essential in a relationship... if u cant trust him anymore, there is no relationship .... trust is a fragile thing.... his act of cheating on you will cause u to lose trust in him.... it will aggravate insecurity ....and i'm sure u will agree with me...

trust is essential to a healthy relationship. If you can't trust your partner, get out of the relationship, cos you will never enjoy it.

i'm not debunking your arguments... merely stating my own thoughts in conjuction with yours.... i'd like to conclude with the statement that, being in a realtionship is not all that if you are suffering... know when to end it... dont be the fool.

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