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About Camerons

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    Preemie Babe
  1. Hi Scryllis, Sorry to hear bout your story but everything that you mentioned really hit it right. When nothing ever make perfect sense, we just can't help but to wonder if we could have done things differently so we could still be together despite all the horrible things he did. I hope you have had your better days now and you found that someone who really loves you and truly adores you [img]http://www.malaysianbabes.net/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]
  2. Yup.... feeling sorry for oneself is definitely the lowest we can go. And although we could be telling ourselves that i'm not going there again but sometimes the darkness will just suck you in when you least expect it and you just ended up falling again. I thought i had crawl out from the pit. Which is why how i felt when i found out bout the news appaled me. Something that i just can't understand and it scares me and makes me think maybe i'm not really over it and all this while i'm still in denial stage. So is it a normal feeling to feel what i felt if you just found out that the one who you thought is the love of your life married someone else.
  3. Thanks guys for listening... or more like reading.... lol. and all the words of encouragement...
  4. My friends & family have alwasy thought of me as someone who is sensible, strong & able to get through anything. That sometimes make it harder for me to pour out to them when i'm upset and need someone to talk to. Besides, I'm not the kind of person that opens up easily to people bout emotions & thoughts. This site though, seems like a good place to start. Guess i just need an outlet to let off the emotions and maybe even gain some insights or words of wisdoms. I have been in couple of relationships but none of them ever leads to any happy ending as most of them ended due to infidelity from my partner. A year ago, my 8 years relationship ended as i suspected my ex cheated on me with his ex, though he denied it. I have a strong reason to suspect that as it was not the 1st time he did it. In fact, couple of months before, we have broken up once as he was cheating with another girl but i forgave & accepted him back when he begged for forgiveness. Guess old habit die hard as it doesn't take long for him to repeat the same mistake. So, this time around, we broke for good and i just wanted to move on with my life and put the whole episodes behind me. I would like to think that i am definitely over him but it's easier said than done, i guess as after more than a year, i still find myself thinking of him sometimes and i just can't seems to open up to any new relationships & my friends have also commented that i have been pushing people away. Couple of weeks ago, i found out that he married the ex that he cheated with. In a way, i felt relieved to hear bout it as it confirmed that i was right bout his cheating. But at the same time, i felt like dying. I felt like i have been stabbed stonecold in the heart repeatly. I just couldn't breath and my heart was beating so fast and i just broke down. What hurts even more is the wedding was exactly how we used to envision. And i'm feeling all sorts of emotions - sad, rage, hatred, jealousy, lonely, miserable.... So, sometimes i do wonder if the problem lies with me. Everywhere i look, there are pictures of happy couple except myself. Will i ever find my own happy ever after? Or it's just my plain luck that i'm always attracted to things that are bad for me. Will i ever really moved on...
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