[Babydoggy]

I know Judy since 10 years ago and we have become close friend. She was 2 yrs younger than me.

JUdy was just like a pc of unrefined wood when i fist get to know her. SHe was freshly graded from high school and had just started her very 1st job. She never been overseas, never get out of our hometown, shes old fashion and only know wearing some dull old color which she thinks so cool. She was just totally outdated..shes like if u are talking to a guy so closely, she would think he must be your boyfriend.....etc etc.

Her background does not make her feel inferior nor humble at all, she was somehow very snobbish and love showing off. She's that kinda person that she saw one thing, and she think she knew the world. She tends to give ppl wrong impression tat shes very knowledgeable and worldly. She would tell ppl how shes likes or hate which hotels or which airlines or which countries, everyone thougth she has been travelling a lot which was not true. All her "experiences" were from mags and words frm others.

When i wasnt so happy abt work or other problems. I wanna talk to her, but most of the time it would end up that i was the one who listen to her showing off or else listen to her so-call problem. Its like her problem is the real problem, mine is nothing.

Her attitude has been very annoying me lately. Shes kind copycat. Whnever we go shopping, she follow so closely every move and every step. She follow everywhere i stop, she's like checking on what i buy and what i see. She even buy the same clothes that i bought. NOt just once, but times. Or else she would buy different type but exactly the same color. Sometime we happen to wear the same outfit when we'r out togther. I feel darn embarrasing, i even feel ashame. She even copy the way i talk, act and my habit, i feel darn sick.

I dunno if i am too sensitive, or i was the one who having pro. But i am sure i am getting sick of my own friend.

This post has been edited by Babydoggy: 11 May 2006 - 10:54 PM

[BillyChai]

Do you have a boyfriend.if u got.the judy will share same bf with you..omg.she follows all your ways,isn't she shamful of that,but does she stay with you ?

[beekgurl]

I know Judy since 10 years ago and we have become close friend. She was 2 yrs younger than me.

JUdy was just like a pc of unrefined wood when i fist get to know her. SHe was freshly graded from high school and had just started her very 1st job. She never been overseas, never get out of our hometown, shes old fashion and only know wearing some dull old color which she thinks so cool. She was just totally outdated..shes like if u are talking to a guy so closely, she would think he must be your boyfriend.....etc etc.

Her background does not make her feel inferior nor humble at all, she was somehow very snobbish and love showing off. She's that kinda person that she saw one thing, and she think she knew the world. She tends to give ppl wrong impression tat shes very knowledgeable and worldly. She would tell ppl how shes likes or hate which hotels or which airlines or which countries, everyone thougth she has been travelling a lot which was not true. All her "experiences" were from mags and words frm others.

When i wasnt so happy abt work or other problems. I wanna talk to her, but most of the time it would end up that i was the one who listen to her showing off or else listen to her so-call problem. Its like her problem is the real problem, mine is nothing.

Her attitude has been very annoying me lately. Shes kind copycat. Whnever we go shopping, she follow so closely every move and every step. She follow everywhere i stop, she's like checking on what i buy and what i see. She even buy the same clothes that i bought. NOt just once, but times. Or else she would buy different type but exactly the same color. Sometime we happen to wear the same outfit when we'r out togther. I feel darn embarrasing, i even feel ashame. She even copy the way i talk, act and my habit, i feel darn sick.

I dunno if i am too sensitive, or i was the one who having pro. But i am sure i am getting sick of my own friend.

Ummm.. and she is your best friend because????

[Sam]

That Judy probably....

识少少扮代表，未发表被 人。。。。hai....

[LoveTragedy]

I know Judy since 10 years ago and we have become close friend. She was 2 yrs younger than me.

JUdy was just like a pc of unrefined wood when i fist get to know her. SHe was freshly graded from high school and had just started her very 1st job. She never been overseas, never get out of our hometown, shes old fashion and only know wearing some dull old color which she thinks so cool. She was just totally outdated..shes like if u are talking to a guy so closely, she would think he must be your boyfriend.....etc etc.

Her background does not make her feel inferior nor humble at all, she was somehow very snobbish and love showing off. She's that kinda person that she saw one thing, and she think she knew the world. She tends to give ppl wrong impression tat shes very knowledgeable and worldly. She would tell ppl how shes likes or hate which hotels or which airlines or which countries, everyone thougth she has been travelling a lot which was not true. All her "experiences" were from mags and words frm others.

When i wasnt so happy abt work or other problems. I wanna talk to her, but most of the time it would end up that i was the one who listen to her showing off or else listen to her so-call problem. Its like her problem is the real problem, mine is nothing.

Her attitude has been very annoying me lately. Shes kind copycat. Whnever we go shopping, she follow so closely every move and every step. She follow everywhere i stop, she's like checking on what i buy and what i see. She even buy the same clothes that i bought. NOt just once, but times. Or else she would buy different type but exactly the same color. Sometime we happen to wear the same outfit when we'r out togther. I feel darn embarrasing, i even feel ashame. She even copy the way i talk, act and my habit, i feel darn sick.

I dunno if i am too sensitive, or i was the one who having pro. But i am sure i am getting sick of my own friend.

Forgive me if my assumption is incorrect - but I believe you're the kind of person that likes to be unique and stand out. So it irritates you to have somebody copying some of your moves. To be fair, this is an expected reaction and totally natural, and for the record, some friends actually do buy same clothes just for the fun of it. Now notice that I said just for the fun of it.

It irritates you because your friend (your best friend) is imitating you. Most probably its because she admires you and wants to be like you, and the only way she thinks is possible is to just follow what you do. Hey, its not wrong, but if you don't like it, here's how:

Start something fun with her, suggest something like having u two dressed in distinct styles, like you goin for punk rocker look while she goin for innocent and sweet look. Joke around about how fun it would be if you two would dress in different styles and go out to attract people's attentions. When you go shopping, pick clothes FOR her, suggest which one is nice and soon she'll have her own sense of fashion. Get her into the act together, make it fun instead of viewing it as irritating.

I guess that would help.

[kimmie]

i agree with love tradegy~ ahha so far his comments are preety steady and matured~

[andrienne]

owh gosh...i haf the same prob with you. it's just tht she aint my best friend. she's my boyfriend's ex. she loves to copy everything from me. the way i talk, blog, dress & all. it's making me sick. so yeah, i confronted her and she told me tht she wants to get back with my bf. since my bf is with me, so she thought by turning herself into me, he'll go back to her. so stupid right? btw, i'm not the reason why the broke up. after my bf broke up with her, he went out with another 2 girls. but the weird thing is, they don't haf the same prob like i do. she still copies me & i just turn a blind eye to it. as what love tragedy said, maybe she's just admiring. so no harm letting her admiring. as long as she doesn't harm you, then it would be alright.

on the other hand, my best friend & i are exactly like twins. the way we talk, do things & sense of fashion are just way too same. sometimes my mum thinks tht she has got another daughter when my best friend comes by. teehee. anyway, if you really treat her like your best friend, you wouldn't hate her. try to see things at another point. if you really couldn't take it then ask her why is she acting in tht way.

[Babydoggy]

Do you have a boyfriend.if u got.the judy will share same bf with you..omg.she follows all your ways,isn't she shamful of that,but does she stay with you ?

Now, we dun live togther. We both single and hang out together most of the time. I dunno how she feel But i certainly dislike of looking identical with her. Firstly, because we are not wearing uniform, secondly we are not twins. Thirdly, other might think we are lesbian.

[Babydoggy]

[quote name='LoveTragedy' date='May 12 2006, 12:36 AM' post='262813']

HI. Thanks very much for ur advices.
Mmm..yeah i guessing me wrong. I am not one who like to be standing out, infact i am conservative kinda person.
I dun mind wearing same thing once in awhile, but not almost everyday n everytime.
JUdy is kinda stubborn. MOst of the time she disagree with my idea and styles, keep criticize that this is not nice that is not good. BUt evntually, she buy wat i bought.
U know, not only clothing...even some of my personal habits, she follow. For instance, i must have my Winnie The Pooh CUshion with me when i sleep. And when i am tired or sleepy i would always say how i miss my Pooh Cushion and i wish to cuddle it.....etc.
At first, JUdy disagree with me and said she would never had this extra things in her bed. Well, lately, she bought the same Pooh Pillow, and started talking the same thing as me. geeee...how can i possibly dun feel sick of it.

[Babydoggy]

[quote name='andrienne' date='May 12 2006, 10:08 AM' post='262896']
Yeah, you bf's ex is silly. Think copy and the guy would get back with her?errrr
U remind me of the movie SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

[LoveTragedy]

i agree with love tradegy~ ahha so far his comments are preety steady and matured~

You flatter me too much, girl. long time no chat d.

[saffron]

At times it may appear to be flattering because I guess it says a lot about the person you are if people are willing to copy the way you walk, talk, dress, behave etc.

But there are also times when it may get too much.

Yes, Single White Female comes to mind. That movie is so freaking scary.

I guess your best friend is still trying to carve a niche for herself, and she's setting you as the benchmark.

Do tell her off if you find it overwhelming.

If she gets all huffy, then you'll have to review why you'd been best friends for years and whether the friendship is worth mending or not.

Good luck.

[eivan120]

There r times when guys don really understand what r we gals thinking of, arguing of n etc; n vice versa. I guess that is y there this "Men r from Mars, Women r fromm Venus". Sometimes it might not have anything to do with that person personality to dislike something, some ppl just have the " nothing's wrong, i just don like it" behavior

My guess is the % of a guy feeling annoy with his fren copy cat him is far low than a gal. To them...it's just not a big deal. In fact i think most guy find a girl "cat's fight is nothing big deal" Sometimes it's just the emotion playing at u. Do u ever have the annoy feeling at something though it didn't really have anything to do with u? I recalled an incident when i'm young i put the cushion on the lazy chair(it normally on the sofa), then my grandma start scolding me for leaving the cushion on the lazy chair... , n then i said what's wrong putting in on the lazy chair? it's not that is bothering u physically. But i guess it's bothering her emotionally. . Try to notice in ur daily life, u might experienced it without realizing

Anyway...back to the topic. Y is it she's ur best fren at the 1st place since u don really like her from the beginning? Her copycat behaviour r getting u to the point of i mention above "it's nothing to do with me but it's annoying me n i don like it". I think the only solutions is to talk to her. nothing can be solved if u just remain being annoyed urself n remain silent.

[kyliemc]

mayb u can try talking 2 her..most probably she thinks tht u r cool...tht's y she wanna imitate u...hehe..mayb u should try picking clothes tht compliments her[juz like wat ruben has mentioned]...


i knoe how irritated u r as i'm in tht kinda situation several times.but d gurls aint my frens.gosh,it's juz like d gurls will criticise how ugly ur stuff r but d very next moment,they hv d same exact thingy,from designs up 2 colours..at 1st,it's kinda flattering as u hv an avid fan but as days passed by,it's totally freaky.....it's like they wanna take over ur life or sumthing~totally freaky n scary experience...gosh...

This post has been edited by kyliemc: 12 May 2006 - 05:01 PM

[cossie]

Her attitude has been very annoying me lately. Shes kind copycat. Whnever we go shopping, she follow so closely every move and every step. She follow everywhere i stop, she's like checking on what i buy and what i see. She even buy the same clothes that i bought. NOt just once, but times. Or else she would buy different type but exactly the same color. Sometime we happen to wear the same outfit when we'r out togther. I feel darn embarrasing, i even feel ashame. She even copy the way i talk, act and my habit, i feel darn sick.

copying is the best form of flattery. unless annoying actions are copied, then we won't like to see it being displayed and mirrored.

it's wierd to have someone dress like ourselves. eeesh.

[luvlade]

maybe u should share with her whats good in fashion and stuffs hehehe... and i still wonder what makes u and her as "best friend", zzz! since u know her so well, i guess u must know her attitude really well hehehe

[skye]

Here is what I think of your best friend: She is plain insecure.

When she started being ur friend, she thinks ur cool and well, I think among the 2 of you ur the hip and happening ones. As years goes on, she maybe felt envious and jealous of you. She likes to brag coz she wants to be in the "in" crowd as well and there is no way for her to join in the crowd other than speak their language even if that means she have to do so by reading to get the type of knowledge and she sees there is nothing wrong with this.

You mentioned that she copies your habits and sensed of fashion but yet she criticize you prior before you buys them. To me, she is just jealous and when you didnt listen then she sees it as no choice but to follow you coz she is envious of what you are doing and wants to be just like you.

1st thing you want to ask yourself, do you still want her as your best friend in the long run or are you ready to throw in the towel of the relationship ?

If you are ready to throw in the towel then there is basically nothing much to say or for us to advise you on. If you still want to give the frienship a last chance, then have a serious talk to her. She might not realise what she is doing (if she is as innocent soul as she used to). Otherwise, she might have changed over the years and well, it might be best to let the relationship goes as you guys have grown apart....

[Babydoggy]

maybe u should share with her whats good in fashion and stuffs hehehe... and i still wonder what makes u and her as "best friend", zzz! since u know her so well, i guess u must know her attitude really well hehehe

Yeah, a hard one to explain.
Well, best friend does not mean one is the best without imperfection. Time passes, things can change. But i wouldnt give up a friendship becos of some unsatisfactory. I hate her becos of her over -confident and snobbish and copycat behavior. I like her cos she patient, helpful and tolerant.
I have noone to talk to, that is why i turn to forum and seek for advice and a place to spit. I just couldnt tell my other friends that I dislike my best friend.

[BillyChai]

maybe judy admire you,well maybe judy will stop this when she's taken..or u might have to talk with her seriously.

[heartbroken]

talkin out to her might b d best way to stop d irritation

[xyu]

confront her or break it to her gently on what you think about her...

or maybe you need some time away from her - some sort of cooling period.. since you mentioned that you two are best friends, you two must have been seeing a lot of each other. I also have times when I get frustrated with my friends or maybe got tired of seeing them each day, so sometimes I will take some personal time to myself or hang out with other people untill I feel that I am ready to face her again..

zzzz...

if you don't mind losing a friendship, you can avoid her.. but of course that's not advisable

[hiphopstar]

she was a piece of unrefined wood when you knew her, and slowly she evolves to become who she is today but as a best friend, I'm sure whatever she becomes today have a lot of influences from you as well. she's never been out of the country or even the hometown and perhaps you have studied overseas or been to many places - she's clearly envied of you and stuffed herself with knowledge of other countries and cities to be on par with you. she might brag about experiences that never exist - let her brag, take those as a joke as you know her clearer than anyone else. she's old-fashioned and wear mostly dull color - maybe that's why she tried to learn from you by choosing the exactly same clothes you wear. even though she would never admit or accept your fashion advice, she still bought the exactly same clothes you have - that means she's afraid you will think she doesn't has her own fashion sense but as she's two years younger than you, perhaps you're her mentor in real life which she would never admit.

all in all, Judy's still the same person she was when you knew her: -
1) she's old-fashioned & outdated because you still think the clothes she wears is dull - and she has to copycat you in order to be fashionable (guess she knew it herself too!). instead of complaning that she copycats you, what you can do is get her to shop with you everytime and select different design of the same line of clothing and put 'em on - when she puts it on, compliment on which clothes suit her more because every girls will look different in the same piece of clothes. if you guys really have to buy the same clothes, compromise before going out - call her first, if she's going to wear the red MNG dress, you wear green. if she still purposely wear green on that day of outing, tell her you feel irritated at that not because you don't like her but because you want each of you to be different. just like in Starwars, Obi-Wan, Skywalker and etc. learn from master Yoda but their lightsabres, each has its own design and distinguished color.

2) she's still old-fashioned & conservative because she can easily suspect any guy that are close to you equal to boyfriend. maybe for her, to be close to a guy is something as sacred as marriage and if you're close to one, she'll think you guys are couple. maybe she is just not as open-minded and won't be friends with guys unless she's really into them.


Judy is your best friend because you guys spent the last ten years together and perhaps there are other things too like her patience, helpfulness and tolerance. ten long years of friendship is like a really good bottle of wine, you do not wanna pour it out and waste every efforts you have put in - in all these years. so, don't hate her. talk to her about your feelings on these things - tell her you love her that she likes to dress like you, that you guys are like twins, but even twins will wear different color of the same type of clothes to distinguish each other, right? since she's patient, helpful and tolerant, I'm sure she'll understand you. good luck!

[Babydoggy]

Ppl, thank u very very much for all the advices...

I have tried "spit" it out to her the other day. I told her how i felt and i told her that i dun wan a clingy friend and that best friend does not need to be stick together 24hrs aday....phieeeew....luckily i accepted whaat i said. Now we are still best friends and happy.
Thank very much.

[luvlade]

u mean she accepted what u said yeah? hehehe... good to hear everything settled!

[andrienne]

hopefully your best friend won't go ballistic over it.

[teikming]

good to hear that everything is settled now should have confronted her earlier bout things like this ...

hope no ones comes and tell me things like this ... i am usually the one copying