[mike71]

I am a 37 year old guy.
I don't understand why I am not very successful in my relationships.
I started my relationship quite late because I was going here and there for my education and career. I had to serve in the government etc (as a medical doctor)
Now that I am staying put in KL I am still finding that my love life is still hopeless.
Almost everybody thinks I can easily find a gf or wife but in reality it just won't happen.
My previous 2 relationships didnt work out well. One was not faithful and the other simply incompatible.

OK. I don't look like Brad Pitt. Maybe I am a bit skinny and looks like a big nerd.
But I have seen nerdier guys with great gf / wives.
Why they will not choose me?

I am not untidy, or rude or foul mouthed. I don't smoke, seldom drink. Never gamble.
Is it because I am too proper or good boy...that women find unattractive?

I just don't get it.

Some of my friends says I am too fussy and picky because my previous gf's were pretty.
Honestly, I just want someone who is sweet and that I find attractive. Not super models!
But all of these are either married or attached.

Unfortunately for me I have always wanted to be a family man with 2-3 kids. So, I prefer someone who is in their late 20s or early 30s.
But am I too old for these girls?

Any advice for me???

[Joukowski]

Hey relax dude. Nothing's wrong with you, so your friends tell you you're being selective in your gf - so who gives? it's your life. If you think you're a bit skinny, then join a gym and work out a bit to bulk up. Then your movements will also be more coordinated and seem less geeky.

Look there's plenty of girls who'd love to have a matured unattached doctor as a bf. If you can go to a church this sunday, you can find a good selection of well brought up babes coming from good backgrounds & families who're patient, polite and courteous & wouldn't be so shallow. Good luck.

[astrosurge]

i think u really need to brush up your conversation skills and need to be good when you chatting up with the girls. sometimes girls like abit of bad boy in a guy. bad boy not being too gangsta or what, just be abit daring and 'brutal'. if you wear glasses, maybe try wearing contacts when you go out, or if you are skinny, try go gym like Joukowski said. above all try to flaunt your best feat, not too excessive otherwise they start puking. most important, be yourself, dont bullshit and be honest. if you have any hobbies try to get involve in clubs or societies. you might get to hook up with someone much easier in that way cos you share common ground and there's much to talk about when you share somethin you both like.

chill man, listen to this - http://youtube.com/watch?v=76bLITHVpL8

This post has been edited by astrosurge: 27 June 2008 - 02:25 AM

[ivory_rong]

don't worry so much...Dont compare yourself with anyone in this world,

i had a doctor fren also worried like you, all my frens ask him don't worried so much one day he will find THE ONE, and yes,he did....he is 36 this years n his wife is 26...so different 10,no biggy....

yup like what joukowski say, go do some gym...play under the sun (so that u wont look so pale)....

[eden]

I think you don't have to purposely turn yourself into someone not you, instead you can be yourself and maybe just expand your social circle. Yeah, going to church is a good approach. I know my bf in a church too
Not every girl will get attracted by good looking or mascular or "good in talking" guys. in fact being knowledgeable is sexy as well Just be yourself and try to make more friends. I think the relationship start from good friendship is more solid than those love at the first sight.
Just my 2 cents.

[KelC]

I think you can join those matchmaking service. It is a platform for young professionals to socialise and 'sharpen' the art of socialising, thus expanding their personal and business network. My friend got to know his gf from matchmaking service and according to him it's a healthy club as you can get to know more friends. Just my 2 cents.

[hermione]

my boyfrriend and i started a year ago..

he was 40 and i am , well, 22...

go figure.....

[Hachiko]

Hey... Doctor

Be proud with who you are...

And love who you are

Pretty doesn't mean they're VERY good =)

Never judge a book by its cover =3

I met a man in my life, he's 36 now. He doesn't look HANDSOME at all

So the first time I told myself, ONLY FRIENDS.

I'm that kind who don't mind how others look - So we tag along very well and his passion, attitude and characteristic makes me fall in love with him =)

And I'm only 20 *wink*

Nothing is impossible =) Jiayous !

[tsukushi]

a fellow doctor...*waves*

AFAIK.. u hav all the things a girl would want. I knew my BF from online forum. or by joining n online forum like MB you might meet like minded girl. Maybe there are already babes here who'd be interested in u.. *wink* good luck

[jarjar]

I recommend you the book 'mars & venus on a date' by John Gray, the author of the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

[yuri]

hey brother,

know what, you are still eligible u know.. i've known some nice professional girls who are also having such problem.. they are also matured girls like mid 20's to late 20's but they are still single.. why because they really do not go out and miz around a lot..

i don quite agree that you'd be someone that you are not..most importantly is to be urself.. don try to change urself because of wanting to get somethig u really wanted... in the end, you might just find tht its nt worth it even though u've got wat u wanted..and what if yes, u hv really rid urself the "geeky" look during waking hours bt in the end, the girl that you have so called got will still need to know the real you... threfore i really feel that she has to see the REAL you instead of the enhanced You..

i dont dare to comment much about ur situation becase tell u the truth, me myself is also having this problem.. bt i can tell you, frankly, i am not the only girl who is having this problem.. the solution is to go out there and miz more with friends, clubs.. etc... anyway just have a good time be urself and enjoy everything that you are having now..

[wild^flame]

looks dont matter....ultimately its about being comfortable with who you are, girls can pick up those vibes....when you see a hot gal wif an average chap or "nerdier guy", maybe its coz the chap is comfortable with himself and has a great self esteem....

and then again...age is just but a number....i know of many ppl who end up with partners way older/younger than them...and yes they're still happily together....ultimately age does not necessarily denote maturity....

the rest of the forumers are rite...go out, mix around and have fun and most importantly, be open to whatever that may come your way...we've all had really bad relationships...it doesnt mean that we're ultimately doomed for lifelong failure...believe me, i've been there....while i've also loved and lost, i wont give up hope on findin my guy....and neither should you

[Kirst88]

Don't worry so much. Women don't necessary go for looks when it comes to guys. There are some women out there who has been hurt by men before. Now, they just want to look for good and matured ones. They also want to settle down and have a family like you. This is probably why so many young women are with older men nowadays. Well, at least I know I am one of them.... The naiveness ok a young man's thinking just doesn't do it for me.

Go out. Mix with more people. Take initiatives

[cookielicious]

mike71, dont think there's anything as "too old or too late".. i think you have not met the right one yet.. and probably you are a bit low on your confidence... if you are confident enough to mix around with ppl around you... i'm sure u will get a gf in no time....
i can tell you for sure that looks is not important.. like you said.. bigger nerds than you get hot chicks... so i'm sure you can too...

but again, personality / mutual understanding (默契) wise have to trial and error. but the moment you get to know more ppl.. you can start by being friends and roughly you will know what kind of girls will be suitable for you..

gambateh... a lot of gals would want a doctor bf lor i guess. ha ha ha...

[jarjar]

Frankly speaking, if I'm 20, i won't want a 40 yrs old guy. I don't want to be a widow at age of 40+.

[mimibruku2]

ur real ''soulmate'' will simlply love you because of who you are. Dont try to stress up yourself for those kind of so called ''relationship''. There is such thing in this world so called ''predestined relationship'' if you believe in it

[snazzy daisy]

hey mr. Doctor,

Dont worry too much abt age-related stuff, it's just numbers..
try not to narrow ur search horizon @ gurl in a certain age range..
compatibility & love sparks that matter..
in de mean time, just enjoy ur singlehood..
why dont u take some time-off, go for holiday, relax ur body, clear ur mind..
who knows, u might be inspired, hv new perspective in finding ur soulmate..
all de best bro!

cheers!

[baby_pumpkin]

Personally, I don't think ure 'too old'.

Just hang in there alright,.

[lordy]

Well...i am quite old It does strike my mind sometimes that i should really be finding a girl and settling down. But long ago i made a promise, to marry only because of love and not bcos i am getting old or whatever.

I did come across girls who at one point express an interest, but cooled down when they found out my age.

And i did come across girls who told me i am too old for them without getting to know me. This reveal how shallow their thoughts, perception and opinions are.

But that doesnt stop me from enjoying my life. I still go out clubbing, i still mix around, and i still meet new friends up.

I also had friends, who are at least 10 years older than their gf and wives. Heck, my bestie married a guy thats 12 years older than her. She is very matured, very intellectual and smart.

I still hold the belief that out there, is someone destined for me to fall in love with, and who in turn falls in love with me. With the same belief, i know the day i was born, there is someone who is born and fated to meet and be with me too. And i will hold this belief until my true love appears

And look at the bright side:
1. We are more mature
2. We make better decisions due to our experience
3. We are more knowledgeable
5. We are not desperate for sex (compared to younger) even though we like sex
6. We are more experienced in pleasing
7. We know how to really appreciate and cherish a person

And looking at a brighter side for myself:
1. I am not as violent nor impulsive as i was
2. I am still aggresive, but in a more controlled and considerate manner
3. I think more of ppl's welfare nowadays than compared to myself
4. I dont take risk like last time ( lots of mischevious and naughty stuff )

This post has been edited by lordy: 30 June 2008 - 10:51 PM

[mike71]

Thanks guys and gals... i feel a bit more positive... i need to widen my circle a bit more..... spent too much time at work sometimes....

[greekgod]

Dear mike71,

Whoa my fren... i m in the same boat as you... ahaks... but i m young... juz 27...

heh... no biggie... juz be yourself... dun need to be bad boy... becos its not you... look at your surrounding... if those nurses in the hospital like working with you then you are not really tht bad or do you own a private clinic? ppl are rite... dun look so much on others... no one is fated to be single... everybody has their partner... its juz not the rite time yet...

Cheers... say... any discount if we go to your clinic or hospital ar?

Who should we look for?

[leeya]

it is never too late to love....
for me...
i prefer older man as my partner cause i prefer to be guided....
and i love guys with brain...
if u think you r skinny and nerdy...
why not go and change your look...
exercise....
makeover....
1st impression is very important because the world is realistic...
or mayb you should socialise more....
cause i know... doc is always busy....

[mygenesis]

hey mr. doctor..

x worry 2 much k..ure doing ok actually..its normal for professional at ur age still single and unattach. I tink ure 2 busy..doctor is always busy.dats d reason y my previous r/ship didnt work out.x compare urself with anybody in this world ok?. If u compare, ure insulting urself. b proud of urself. come on man! ure a doctor!!

[mike71]

2 weeks ago I met a very sweet girl while going out with a big group of people. She seemed friendly and when we sat down to eat, she sat next to me and talked to me. Later on I found out that she was 27. I didnt say how old i was but maybe she found out from other people.... later she does not seem very interested to talk to me anymore.... i still tried my luck to ask her for a movie with some of other people...she said no because she is always busy..... sigh! =(

[flyboy]

if there is any encouragement for you, I knew a guy who at 47 years old married a 23 year old girl

cheerio

[LuYi]

try mixing around here and there.. know more gals..
37 years old is not old...
there are many more lousier guys.. such as wife beater.. oso got wife..or else how to beat the wife huh...

try mixing around.. know more gals.. sure u will meet ur ms. right.

[Maggiez]

Maybe the girl has only been dating guys her age so takes a bit of time to get used to the idea of dating a more mature guy, age wise

I'm sure there is a nice girl out there waiting to meet a nice guy like you

[jarjar]

Oh, that means she is not meant for you.

[popozao]

you're only too old when you're dead.

[MCCqueen]

hey, dont be so hard on urself. u sound like a good husband material wor... i think some of my single gal pals might be interested ..ahhaha normally girls will die to get a husband as good like u la

personality wise, maybe u are good but appearance can be improved.. u think all girls born pretty? some also average looking but they put in effort to improve their appearance, thus make ppl think they are pretty..

seriously, 36 years old is not old, its the ripe age for man.. my guy friends turning 30 keep telling me they are old but i always tell them, 30 is only the beginning man.. there are a lot single girls mid 20-late 20s .. u just need to go out more often ya dont wori so much, the more pressure u give urself, u'll make wrong decision which might regret later in life lor... just look for a girl compatible wif u, life will be happy & fine