I am a 37 year old guy.
I don't understand why I am not very successful in my relationships.
I started my relationship quite late because I was going here and there for my education and career. I had to serve in the government etc (as a medical doctor)
Now that I am staying put in KL I am still finding that my love life is still hopeless.
Almost everybody thinks I can easily find a gf or wife but in reality it just won't happen.
My previous 2 relationships didnt work out well. One was not faithful and the other simply incompatible.

OK. I don't look like Brad Pitt. Maybe I am a bit skinny and looks like a big nerd.
But I have seen nerdier guys with great gf / wives.
Why they will not choose me?

I am not untidy, or rude or foul mouthed. I don't smoke, seldom drink. Never gamble.
Is it because I am too proper or good boy...that women find unattractive?

I just don't get it.

Some of my friends says I am too fussy and picky because my previous gf's were pretty.
Honestly, I just want someone who is sweet and that I find attractive. Not super models!
But all of these are either married or attached.

Unfortunately for me I have always wanted to be a family man with 2-3 kids. So, I prefer someone who is in their late 20s or early 30s.
But am I too old for these girls?

Any advice for me???

Hey relax dude. Nothing's wrong with you, so your friends tell you you're being selective in your gf - so who gives? it's your life. If you think you're a bit skinny, then join a gym and work out a bit to bulk up. Then your movements will also be more coordinated and seem less geeky.

Look there's plenty of girls who'd love to have a matured unattached doctor as a bf. If you can go to a church this sunday, you can find a good selection of well brought up babes coming from good backgrounds & families who're patient, polite and courteous & wouldn't be so shallow. Good luck.

i think u really need to brush up your conversation skills and need to be good when you chatting up with the girls. sometimes girls like abit of bad boy in a guy. bad boy not being too gangsta or what, just be abit daring and 'brutal'. if you wear glasses, maybe try wearing contacts when you go out, or if you are skinny, try go gym like Joukowski said. above all try to flaunt your best feat, not too excessive otherwise they start puking. most important, be yourself, dont bullshit and be honest. if you have any hobbies try to get involve in clubs or societies. you might get to hook up with someone much easier in that way cos you share common ground and there's much to talk about when you share somethin you both like.

chill man, listen to this - http://youtube.com/watch?v=76bLITHVpL8

This post has been edited by astrosurge: Jun 27 2008, 02:25 AM

don't worry so much...Dont compare yourself with anyone in this world,

i had a doctor fren also worried like you, all my frens ask him don't worried so much one day he will find THE ONE, and yes,he did....he is 36 this years n his wife is 26...so different 10,no biggy....

yup like what joukowski say, go do some gym...play under the sun (so that u wont look so pale)....

I think you don't have to purposely turn yourself into someone not you, instead you can be yourself and maybe just expand your social circle. Yeah, going to church is a good approach. I know my bf in a church too
Not every girl will get attracted by good looking or mascular or "good in talking" guys. in fact being knowledgeable is sexy as well Just be yourself and try to make more friends. I think the relationship start from good friendship is more solid than those love at the first sight.
Just my 2 cents.

I think you can join those matchmaking service. It is a platform for young professionals to socialise and 'sharpen' the art of socialising, thus expanding their personal and business network. My friend got to know his gf from matchmaking service and according to him it's a healthy club as you can get to know more friends. Just my 2 cents.

my boyfrriend and i started a year ago..

he was 40 and i am , well, 22...

go figure.....

Hey... Doctor

Be proud with who you are...

And love who you are

Pretty doesn't mean they're VERY good =)

Never judge a book by its cover =3

I met a man in my life, he's 36 now. He doesn't look HANDSOME at all

So the first time I told myself, ONLY FRIENDS.

I'm that kind who don't mind how others look - So we tag along very well and his passion, attitude and characteristic makes me fall in love with him =)

And I'm only 20 *wink*

Nothing is impossible =) Jiayous !

a fellow doctor...*waves*

AFAIK.. u hav all the things a girl would want. I knew my BF from online forum. or by joining n online forum like MB you might meet like minded girl. Maybe there are already babes here who'd be interested in u.. *wink* good luck

I recommend you the book 'mars & venus on a date' by John Gray, the author of the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

hey brother,

know what, you are still eligible u know.. i've known some nice professional girls who are also having such problem.. they are also matured girls like mid 20's to late 20's but they are still single.. why because they really do not go out and miz around a lot..

i don quite agree that you'd be someone that you are not..most importantly is to be urself.. don try to change urself because of wanting to get somethig u really wanted... in the end, you might just find tht its nt worth it even though u've got wat u wanted..and what if yes, u hv really rid urself the "geeky" look during waking hours bt in the end, the girl that you have so called got will still need to know the real you... threfore i really feel that she has to see the REAL you instead of the enhanced You..

i dont dare to comment much about ur situation becase tell u the truth, me myself is also having this problem.. bt i can tell you, frankly, i am not the only girl who is having this problem.. the solution is to go out there and miz more with friends, clubs.. etc... anyway just have a good time be urself and enjoy everything that you are having now..

looks dont matter....ultimately its about being comfortable with who you are, girls can pick up those vibes....when you see a hot gal wif an average chap or "nerdier guy", maybe its coz the chap is comfortable with himself and has a great self esteem....

and then again...age is just but a number....i know of many ppl who end up with partners way older/younger than them...and yes they're still happily together....ultimately age does not necessarily denote maturity....

the rest of the forumers are rite...go out, mix around and have fun and most importantly, be open to whatever that may come your way...we've all had really bad relationships...it doesnt mean that we're ultimately doomed for lifelong failure...believe me, i've been there....while i've also loved and lost, i wont give up hope on findin my guy....and neither should you

Don't worry so much. Women don't necessary go for looks when it comes to guys. There are some women out there who has been hurt by men before. Now, they just want to look for good and matured ones. They also want to settle down and have a family like you. This is probably why so many young women are with older men nowadays. Well, at least I know I am one of them.... The naiveness ok a young man's thinking just doesn't do it for me.

Go out. Mix with more people. Take initiatives

mike71, dont think there's anything as "too old or too late".. i think you have not met the right one yet.. and probably you are a bit low on your confidence... if you are confident enough to mix around with ppl around you... i'm sure u will get a gf in no time....
i can tell you for sure that looks is not important.. like you said.. bigger nerds than you get hot chicks... so i'm sure you can too...

but again, personality / mutual understanding (默契) wise have to trial and error. but the moment you get to know more ppl.. you can start by being friends and roughly you will know what kind of girls will be suitable for you..

gambateh... a lot of gals would want a doctor bf lor i guess. ha ha ha...